Hi Myspace! My name is Nick Spears! Where do I begin?...
I was conceived by a Norse goddess on the clouds of Odin’s beard. I was a magical baby, one that the locals would throw flowers and chiclets at. When I was 5, I killed my first komodo dragon with nothing but pair of brass knuckles. I lost my virginity at the age of 12, I forget his name, but I remember that he had a tattoo of the talking couch from Pee Wee’s Playhouse on his left wrist. By the time I was 16, I was a professional bee keeper. I still can’t stand the sight of honey without having a panic attack. (I thought my zipper was closed that dreadful day, but it wasn’t.) At the tender age of 18, I finally witnessed my first Donkey Kong "Kill Screen". By 20, I was a Top Gun pilot, but was discharged for pounding a bottle of Jager and wheelin’ my motorcycle off the side of our aircraft carrier. It was then that I fell into my current 8 year bender... consisting of booze, "Find Your Own Adventure" books & my new found love for comedy. The comedy thing probably won’t work out, but the booze is pretty reliable.
SASHA “THE MACHINE” VUJACIC RESPONDS TO OUR VIDEOS IN A LAKERS PRESS CONFERENCE
NBA COMMERCIAL SPOOF - WHERE MACHINE HAPPENS
Who I'd like to meet:
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"You can stick your 9 to 5 livin',
And your collar and your tie.
And stick your moral standards,
'Cause it's all a dirty lie.
You can stick your golden handshake,
And you can stick your silly rules,
And all the other shit,
That they teach to kids in school...
'Cause I ain't no fool."
"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle." - Sun Tzu, Ancient Chinese General, 3000 BC
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