Nile Dean
Stand-Up / Blue Collar / Alternative
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The early worm gets eaten by a bird.
Male
40 years old
BATAVIA, IL
United States
Last Login: 7/9/2009
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Mood:
mischievous
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Nile Dean's Comedian Bio
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| Bio | I have recently started "Bikini Bob Comedy Productions". | | Website | NileDean.com | | Influences | Benny Hill, Mitch Hedberg, Johnny Carson, The 3 Stooges, Steven Wright, Conan O’Brien, Henny Yougman, Rodney Dangerfield, and of course "Bikini Bob". |
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Nile Dean's Interests
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| General | I enjoy a challenging game of peek-a-boo, I've always loved that game. My cat usually wins, I suspect her of cheating but I can't prove it. I also enjoy things that don't involve actual work. This seems like work so thats all I am writing for now. | | Music | I like a wide variety of music, Morphine, Original Van Halen, Old Metallica, Elvis, Sinatra, Johnny Cash, and other music that doesn't suck. | | Books | "The little engine that could", it's very suspenseful and full of "non-stop" action. | | Heroes | Any current or veteran of the U.S. Armed Forces. |
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Nile Dean's Details
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| Status: | Single | | Here for: | Networking, Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends | | Orientation: | Straight | | Hometown: | Batavia, IL | | Body type: | 6' 0" | | Ethnicity: | White / Caucasian | | Religion: | Christian - other | | Zodiac Sign: | Scorpio |
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Nile Dean's Latest Blog Entry
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Definitions you won’t get in Websters
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Nile Dean's Blurbs |
About me:
Here is an article about me that was
published in "Good Stuff Magazine".
Written by Guy B. Phony.
I was recently given the opportunity to interview Comedian
Nile Dean. I tried my best to get out of it but was forced
to do it anyway. Here is his pathetic story of his rise to
mediocrity in the world of Stand-Up Comedy.
"In the beginning some humans walked the earth. These
humans, or 'people' as we now call them, often got mad at
each other and bad stuff happened. This cycle continued
throughout history. Every time people got 'Mad', 'Bad
Stuff' would happen", according to Dean.
Then one day Nile was born. His very first words were
"whaaaaa!" Which can be translated into an old Native
American proverb meaning, "How you guys doin' tonight?" Though at the
time no one was quite sure what it meant. Nile then peed
on the nurse, shit himself, and fell fast asleep. Till
this day this remains one of Nile's favorite
activities....uh ...Well the sleeping part that is. Nile
then struggled through a period in his life where he did
nothing more than eat, sleep, and shit himself. He now
claims it was just a "phase" he was going through and
calls it "my eating, sleeping and shitting myself phase".
Eventually, Nile began playing with toys and speaking
English. He soon found himself in a school surrounded by
other young children who struggled through similar "phases
of eating, sleeping, and shitting themselves". Nile
quickly discovered he had a natural ability to do stupid
stuff. Also he wrote stuff on paper. Later, Nile would
combine these new found skills and write stupid stuff on
paper. This often led to trouble for Nile when his stupid
stuff made people "Mad" and "Bad Stuff" happened.
After many years of detention, Nile went to work where he
excelled at eating, sleeping, and other break time
activities. This gave Nile the time he needed to hone his
skill of writing stupid stuff. Not being very smart,
Nile's mouth continued to cause "Bad Stuff" to happen by
making people "Mad".
Finally, one day Nile took his reasonably mediocre looks
combined with his highly polished skills of stupidity to
the stage where he could say stupid stuff and not make
people "Mad". (Although it should be noted that he still
seeks out pre approval for his stupid stuff from Al
Sharpton just to be safe. After all, he does suffer from
"White Man Syndrome" or "Crackeritis" which can be a fatal
condition in Comedians.) It was then that he discovered he
could make people laugh and thereby decrease the number of
"Mad" people among us. Nile now sees himself as a role
model for others who make people "Mad". "Together we have the power
to put an end to 'Bad Stuff' in our time" Nile says. "Through laughter we can make
people less 'Mad'. If there is one thing history has taught us it is that when people get
'Mad'......'Bad Stuff' happens" he adds.
Though he seems incredibly ignorant and constantly
babbles, I really think there is an underlying wisdom to
be found in the words of Nile Dean. I'm just not sure what
that wisdom is because he filled my head with so much
silly gibberish during this interview. Hell, I didn't even
want to write this stupid article so screw it! You figure
it out. It's crappy assignments like this that really make
me "Mad".
Story By Guy B. Phony, Chief Corespondent for "Good Stuff Magazine".
(Until he was fired for getting "Mad" about bein given this crappy
assignment).
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Who I'd like to meet:
Al Sharpton and or God unless they are the same person.
The Pope because I want to complain about having never been molested by a priest. (I have self esteem issues okay)
Michael Jackson... see reason above.
Donald Trump because I don't like Rosie O'Donnel either.
Hillary Clinton so I could insult her in person.
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| Nile Dean's Friend Space (Top 16) |
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Nile Dean has 73 friends.
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