Photo of Nicole Swan

Mama Juke

www.myspace.com/niquitab

is 205 pounds of DON'T F WITH ME.Mood: hot hotat 12:24 AM Jun 23 view more

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  • Nicole Swan

  • 25 / Female
  • medford, Oregon, US
  • Last Login: 7/9/2009

13591136|25|11111|http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/73/m_a3d2def48dce4ddf86e3bf82b5ecaa81.jpg

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Details

  • Status: Married
  • Hometown: Tatooine
  • Height: 5' 11"
  • Occupation: CodeNinja

Interests

  • General

    making babies with my super hot husband. dancin'. ponies. cans of whoop ass. rasslin'. ufc. games. not going outside, ever. fibonacci, sierpinski, & matt murdock. fractals. prospects of really really large permanent body art...music. prime numbers. mein fender. the number 2. sprechen teh deutsche. knee-high-lace-up-curb-stompy black boots. junk food. comics. repeating shapes. web comics. hacking the gibson. getting down with my bad self. 3.14159265....

  • Music

    apoptygma berzerk, atb, atmosphere, bauhaus, bishop allen, blutengel, bruderschaft, camper van beethoven, combichrist, concrete blonde, cowboy junkies, covenant, crowded house, cracker, the cure, das ich, david bowie, depeche mode, devo, don mclean, duran duran, e nomine, erasure, the faint, faith no more, faithless, front 242, funker vogt, front line assembly, garbage, god module, heather nova, inxs, jeff buckley, janis joplin, james, jethro tull, johnny cash, joy division, led zeppelin, love and rockets, mesh, ministry, morcheeba, mos def, muse, neuroticfish, neil finn, new order, nine inch nails, nitzer ebb, orb, orbital, outkast, patsy cline, peter gabriel, peter murphy, portishead, rabbit junk, rasputina, rotersand, roxette, roy orbison, scissor sisters, sisters of mercy, smashing pumpkins, taj mahal, tori amos, underworld, vnv nation, ween

  • Movies

    a boy and his dog, boondock saints, run lola run, der kreiger und die kaiserin, brother, seven samurai, what to do in case of fire, joe and max, evil dead, strictly ballroom, fight club, star wars, indiana jones, hackers, sixteen candles, grosse point blank, high fidelity, things to do in denver when you're dead, empire records, the final cut, flight of the navigator, top gun, enemy at the gates, band of brothers, hudson hawk, die hard, lethal weapon, rasputin, schindler's list, trainspotting, 28 days later, legend, batman

  • Television

    deadwood, alias, firefly, ninja warrior, unbeatable banzuke

  • Books

    fountainhead, mein kampf, the rise and fall of the third reich, the discworld books, snow crash, changeling plague, anything by bucky fuller, hyperion series, dark tower series, a people's history of the united states, valis, slaughterhouse five, good omens, mother night, harrison bergeron, ellison wonderland, bears discover fire, the pickup artist, top dog, maus, jinx, go fish, kabuki, bendis/maleev daredevil, 100 bullets, y the last man

  • Heroes

    kevin mitnick...nate's mom...and your mom.

Blurbs

About me:

i like dancing. especially to ABBA. especially with sar. especially at the comic shop. especially when gabe is counting down the till. here is 8 seconds of me and sar dancing to ABBA at the comic shop while gabe is counting down the till:

i take showers with the door open, talk in my sleep, and sleep with my eyes open on the drive to work. i drink red bull on thursday night and full throttle friday morning. i laugh so hard i cry. i'm in love with a swan. i know way too much about professional wrestling, videogames, star wars, and airplanes. i talk like a trucker. i call my girl cat jack and my boy cat milo. they're gay together. i love to dance, and sing along LOUD to erasure in my car when i think no one is watching. i have 1.5 siblings. my mom makes amazing potato salad. i understand computers better than humans. i give terrible advice. i'll probably never call you back. i had a crush on my history teacher in 8th grade and as a result know way too much about ww2. i collect wheat pennies. and magic the gathering cards. i want an f-22. and a stuka. and an xbox 360. i love my job. i hate macs.

things what i like:
loud angry music
loud happy music
ann coulter
playing city of heroes
red baron pizza
shawn michaels
that purple drink ian made me the other night
an excuse to wear fishnets
not leaving the house unless it's to go someplace in fishnets
mix tapes
changing tires
wearing high heels
changing tires while wearing high heels
anime
pillow fights in my underpants with drea the shea
making fun of people
sticking up for people when they're being made fun of by people that aren't as cool as me.
drinking a jug of carlo rossi at the watertower with an old friend after the bars close
36" inseam on size 6 long pants

things what i don't like:
taxes
the sun
waking up in the morning
fishsticks
due dates
popcorn stuck in my teeth
speed limits
underwire
wedgies
lip gloss
people setting their myspace profiles to private (how am i supposed to stalk you??)
spontaneous pneumothorax
the non-smoking section
shoes that aren't black
34" inseam on size 6 long pants

Who I'd like to meet:

the baby i'm building, myself 20 years from now, david mack, mick foley, anyone that can tell me what MMO, RPG, FPS, or TLA stands for, and New York Yankees fans (so I can slap them in the face).

Comments

Displaying 25 of 1050 comments
  • -... .-. .- -. -.. --- …Brandon Rodas

    Jun 23 2009 8:25 PM

    Hey Preggers-Juke, have you popped yet?  Haha.  I can't believe you're going to be having a kid soon.  You do plan to properly educate this child in the ways of all things geeky, right?
  • Miss Barbara Jean

    Jun 11 2009 7:38 PM

    I just looked at your profile picture and if you look at it just right it appears as if you have GIGANTIC pigtails.
    Boredemn at work begets me noticing these things. HA!
  • kati

    Jun 8 2009 8:27 AM

    I just realized that I miss you, and your eyebrows.  Congrats on the pod.  :-)
  • Prettyface

    May 15 2009 1:49 AM

    I have an inflammatory lung condition.

    I'm blaming this on you.
  • {Shannon}Shannon Watkins

    May 13 2009 12:15 AM

    hi lovely... I miss you!
  • Pumpkin Bomb

    Apr 23 2009 2:22 AM

    You got married the day after I did. So yeah, I'll vote for the apoc around there somewheres.


    I am in Utah. It's a horrible desert. With horrible desserts. (That's probably not true...)

    I try to focus on the good things. There's a Barnes & Noble several blocks from my house. It is next to a Maggie Moo's (good ice cream, similar to Cold Stone.) It is also next to an art supply store and a library. All things that do not exist in Grass Pants. So that's good.


    We just bought a cool house here and I'm going to have a studio in which I can create things of the ilk what I usually produce at a greater rate I hope. Deformed paintings, terrible books full of terrible things happening to terrible people in terrible places. And of course, the musics. I think Chris is slightly disappointed because he thought he was marrying this brilliant super-prolific artist genius when actually I'm more of a grumpy old man who plays video games all day and spends lots of money on books while trying to do ridiculous things like teach myself Japanese. What am I saying? I sound awesome.


    Also, I'm coming to the Oregon to visit end of next month. Yay. Trees.
  • Pumpkin Bomb

    Apr 21 2009 3:55 PM

    Yeah. I miss waffles.


    I miss Oregon. Utah sucks.


    I don't want loads of babies. Maybe two.


    So when did you get married now? I'm pretty sure you got married at almost the same time I did.


    I miss your collapsed lung.
  • Pumpkin Bomb

    Apr 20 2009 10:26 PM

    Juke?
    My Juke?

    ...you're married. And you're having babies.


    And you're knitting. Knitting scarves.

    I never use MySpace anymore.


    But I felt like I should check it today.


    I would be shocked and afeared about you and your activities.


    If I weren't doing all of the above myself.

    Although lately, I've just been knitting hats that don't fit. Delicious hats.


    And I'm not having babies. And least I'm not pregnant with any babies. Yet.


    I go to the doctor on Wednesday. To discuss the possibilities of myself and my husbandmanfriend having some sort of small person that shares portions of our DNA.


    I'm pretty sure my doc is going to tell me I should never have any babies.

    Maybe because I'm convinced I'm a terrible person. Don't know.


    You're the first person I've told about this. Because when you make a life-changing decision. The first person you definitely want to tell is someone on MySpace you haven't talked to in almost a year.



    You look happy.


    Aw.
  • Reverand X

    Apr 16 2009 6:20 AM

    Neardeath (aka - the snail chaser drug)
    Pronunciation: Cyclodimentia Rectothylamide
    Generic: Horasomni oculussinister peros
    Class: Anti - synaptic medication and neuro - genital blocker
    Action: Inhibits activity of the enzyme donkisix, leading to agitation of the central nervous system and painful sensitivity in the prefrontal cortex.

    Why is this drug prescribed: Current research suggests a complete lack of information in this area. There is some evidence that Neardeath may be an effective anti - venom for vampire bites and injuries cause by “lunch ladies.
    ”
    Most important fact about this drug: May cause Hemiballismus.

    How should you take this drug: Neardeath is generally prescribed exclusively to rednecks and religious individuals. In this context the medication is most often intentionally mislabeled.

    If you miss a dose: As soon as you realize that you have missed a dose of Neardeath you must immediately crush the remaining contents of the bottle and bring to a rolling boil in a 750 ml solution of 50% ammonium nitrate, 50% liquid smoke and 50% chlorine bleach. Drill a large hole in the left femur and apply the solution using a high pressure eradiating thermal enema scalpel.

    Storage instructions: Neardeath is difficult to store; there are two very specific criterion. First, Neardeath must be shaken violently at all times. Secondly Neardeath must be kept at absolute zero. Neardeath is able to sense human touch, so machines must not be used to shake the medication. Furthermore, in order to work Neardeath must “bond” with the person for which it is prescribed. This is accomplished through the walls of the vial as the individual holds it. Essentially the patient must shake Neardeath while standing in an environment that remains at absolute zero. Failure to comply with storage instructions will result in the instability of the medication.

    Side effects: Bizarre urination, sexual dissociation, numbness of the eyes and tongue, protr
  • Invader JimJim Glasgow

    Apr 13 2009 12:56 AM

  • Dani Grace

    Apr 7 2009 3:17 PM

    If Jim gets to DJ the delivery, I get to dance at it.
  • Invader JimJim Glasgow

    Mar 30 2009 7:38 PM

    So do I get to DJ your delivery?
  • Rachel Rae

    Mar 25 2009 8:24 PM

    Nikki, you're married and having a baby?! how grown up of you.
    congrats! I wish you all the best!
  • Reverand X

    Mar 21 2009 8:08 AM

    Torsion Field Physics, originally called Sextorsional Bilateral Quantum Metasadism (until the government “bought” it from us in the first half of last century for 2 fifty gallon drums of 3 - quinuclidinyl benzilate), is still used by the private sector. Government Black Projects hire independent contractors to use the theory as a means to open extra - dimensional gateways through which come all manner of nasties. Although close to 6 billion dollars of tax payer money is spent in this way every day, the only real benefit is the anal pillaging of people who hang out alone in isolated places, and the abuse of cattle (whose genetalia and internal organs are like beacons to creatures from beyond).

  • [digital punk]Robert Pentecost

    Mar 17 2009 3:50 AM

    fail owned pwned pictures
    see more pwn and owned pictures
  • Firestarter Holly Nelson-Lloyd

    Mar 10 2009 12:21 AM

    Well they're re opening fri the 13 so you don't have to miss thurs anymore... I'll probably see you guys there sometime soon.. hopefully... love to you both.
    Holly Lloyd Nelson
  • Sideways

    Mar 5 2009 2:56 PM

    Me and Beth are engaged. I figure as long as keep the " I love Joe and want marry him" subliminal message tapes looping every night between now and July 17th she will go through with it. You and yours are invited.
    Hope your baby baking is going well!
  • Miss Barbara Jean

    Feb 24 2009 6:57 PM

    I second that emotion.
  • {Shannon}Shannon Watkins

    Feb 22 2009 5:24 AM

    Hope everything is going great for you guys... we've decided that we miss you!
  • Invader JimJim Glasgow

    Feb 20 2009 8:58 PM

  • Rob

    Feb 20 2009 2:39 PM

    Ron, she's pregnant, get over it...
    Photobucket
  • RonabellDer Kommisar

    Feb 9 2009 4:38 PM

    Best thing you can do is to not spawn any urchins yourself.
  • Rob

    Feb 6 2009 2:40 PM

    Don't worry about getting me anything for Valentine Day, with the economy what it is, let's just eat in...
  • Rob

    Jan 29 2009 8:31 PM

    Photobucket
  • NathanaelNathanael Swan

    Jan 29 2009 3:58 PM

    YOU ARE THE BEST THING EVER MY DARLING!!! JYEAH!!!