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My Family of course

My mom has been a huge influence on my life mostly due to the way she raised me. I turned out completely the opposite of her because although the way she is works for her it didn't work for me. My mom wasn't all that affectionate or empathetic to anyone while I was growing up. However as I grew up I became affectionate in my life. She went through quite a bit of crap in her life and she chose to harden herself as a way of dealing with it. I don't look down on her for her choice she is one of the strongest most independant women I know and I admire her for that. Of all the things in the world I wish I got from my mom is her independance. My mom's great.

My Aunt is also a major influence for me. She has taught me that no matter what life throws your way things will get better. She has also taught me patience and understanding. My aunt is a great listener I have gone to her with many a problem I didn't feel comfortable going to my mom with and she has helped me through it. She has always been honest with me even if I asked questions of her life that she maybe didn't want people to know about she told me anyway. If only her kids could see in her what I do. That woman is a saint for what she puts up with.

My sister. Although my sister is 10 years younger then I am I have learned a great deal from her. One thing I've learned is I'm uncool. LOL We think when we are young that we are going to be cool forever and then the younger generation comes along and slaps us with the ugly truth. I see greatness in my sister and I hope she achieves in her life all the things I could not. Another thing I have learned from her is determination. I have never seen her quit anything. She goes out for something and she does it whereas I have always been afraid to see anything to the end.

My grandmother. A truer person never existed. My grandmother is everything I hope to one day be. I miss her dearly. She was my best friend and confidant. There are days when I still feel like I can't make it without her and then I hear her voice say "you can" and I do. My grandmother is the one responcible for introducing me to my first video game. She used to play them with me all the time. Then when nintendo came out you couldn't get us out of our chairs. My grandmother was an amazing woman, artist, poet, I've learned so much from her.

My grandpa. A perfect match for my grandmother. My grandfather is the embodiment of sincerity. They don't make men like him anymore. My grandfather has taught me more about love and the sacrafices you make for love then anyone or any relationship I've ever been in. He has also taught me kindness, caring, and generocity. I miss my grandpa too he now lives in Florida and I rarely get to see him.

My cousins. You know who you are. From them I've learned mischief and how to get in trouble LOL. I've played my share of impish tricks on them but I think they have turned out more devious then I. God I love my work. They were more like my brother and sisters though growing up. We were inseperable. I miss those days. Melissa has taught me that life can be shitty but you would be amazed at what you can live through. She may not have meant to teach me these things but simply by observation of her I have learned. Jamie has taught me that you can be both beautiful and smart and that's still cool. I'm waiting for her to teach me how to manipulate men though cause that's a badass trick. Then of course there is Richard who taught me that people in life are going to embarrass you and you just have to get over it. He also has taught me that I am uncool LOL I think it's paybacks for when we used to tease him.

My dad. I never met my biological father but when I was 7 my mom married a man who filled that void. Kenny was not only my father but he was my friend. We had our disagreements but deep down we loved each other very much. My dad was probably one of the coolest adults I know. I miss him so much he died this year. The pain is still fresh and that is making writing this part hard. I may have to come back to it.

Then there's my friends

I'll start with my best friend Kim. Talk about someone being there for you through thick and thin, her and I have been through the works. I love her with all my heart, she is more like family really. I look up to her in many ways because she has never strayed from her values. She is also braver then I am in many ways. She is younger then me but don't let that fool you she is more mature then I am and wiser too. She used to tell me she was jealous of me because I got all the boys but in truth it is I who am jealous of her. She has found her perfect mate. She also knows what she wants and she doesn't hesitate to go for it. She isn't afraid of hard work and her achievements show that. She is pure hearted and very special to me.

My friend Holly. I know we don't talk much and I really miss that. I have always admired her spirit. Whenever she was dealt a rough hand she played it to the end and with force. Talk about determination. I don't think there is anything she is afraid to do. Whatever life threw her way she made it work. I am so proud of the woman you've become. Miss dancing with you but I'm not sure my fat ass could keep up but then I don't think I was ever able to keep up with your energy.

Holly's brother Dan. I haven't spoken to or seen Dan in a long time but one thing about him I always kept with me is that he was who he was and that was that. Dan wasn't afraid to be different or try new things. He always spoke his mind and didn't give a rat's ass what anyone thought about it. Even though we ragged on him a few times about his wardrobe choices he didn't care he wore that stuff with pride. You Go Dan!