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Clay's Blog

Meditations on the Coming of the New Year

  So many people brought their hurt, frustration, insecurity and confusion to me over this past year, like I've got the answer, like I'm supposed to transform it for them.  Just 15 minutes ago I got off the phone with a friend who was breaking down.  This friend knows virtually nothing about me.  Things seem a bit fucked up this year, especially lately.  I've been fumbling through the obstacle course of life, taking my knocks, getting hurt, and yes I'm well aware, hurting others.  Everyone I know seems to be wading into chaos. What's to be done about all this?
  Here's what I do:
  I breathe deep.  I close the windows, open my heart, and appeal to my reason.  I lift my arms, palms outward in a gesture of protection and refuge, pulling warm energy up through the earth and into my core.  I exhale.  I feel the energy pushing through me and out into the world in an ever-expanding sphere the color of the setting sun.  The layers of  frustration and unfullfiled longing burn off my frame and fade into the landscape.  I inhale, leeching pain from those closest to me and from the environment around me.  I exhale, pushing concentric spheres of healing and strength further than the furthest reaches of my imagination. I inhale, accepting criticism and  accusation.  Inhaling a bit deeper I forgive all and apologize for every hurt my existence has inevitably engendered.  I exhale, pushing out from myself slowly, like a glassblower working a vase, like a globe of light in the fog, in the dark.  I push out a little further, a single note striving to harmonize with the limitless multitudes of human experience.  I pause.
   I breathe in and out.  I mix the music of the spheres over big beats and bass lines flowing like the rivers of eternity.  I reach through human history and into our limitless futures, pulling strength and positivity into the present and onto our potential.  I dance. I cry. I laugh. I shiver.  I buzz with the expansion of the universe.  I wipe the slate clean and offer it up to your mind's eye.  I focus and push forward.  I love you.  I promise.  I look to the horizon and smile.

Comments

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  • Beloved Tania

    best blog ever.. happy new year to you!

    7 years ago

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