John
John If you're too old to trick-or-treat, you're too old to skateboard.

Male
29 years old
New York, NEW YORK
United States



Last Login: 7/10/2008
View My: Pics

   Contacting John

 MySpace URL: 

    John's Interests
GeneralGood question! Lately, I've been into massage, dry manhattans, models who throw up and parcs you can get lost in. I also like dragons and magic.......Ooohhh, and I like hockey.
MusicThe Arcade Fire, Henri Faberge and The Adorables, Tupac, Patti Smith, Cuff the Duke, Clap Your Say Over, Belle and Sebastian, Radiohead, Mos Def, Ramones, Ron Sexsmith, Peter BJorn & John, Rufus Wainwright, Beck,
MoviesGoodfellas, 400 Blows, Diva, Primer, Bring it On, Godfather, Fight Club, Wild in The Streets, The Bear, Waiting For Guffman, that time I was on mushrooms and taped myself.
TelevisionAdult Swim, Laguna Beach, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, All the reality shows I made up: "Celebrity Toilet" , "So You Want To Marry a Pedophile?" , "Watch me Box a Bear", etc
BooksThe Moor's Last Sigh, Anything For Billy, Rule of the Bone, Dark Knight Returns (Batman), MacBeth, Karlson On The Roof, A Star Called Henry, The Collected Works of Billy The Kid, Vice, Vanity Fair, Blackbook, V-man, V, McSweeney's, Archie, X-men, The Great Gatsby, Cat's Cradle, Vogue, Teen Vogue, Vogue Paris, Vogue Italia, The Tempest, Wonderboys, David Sedaris, Coming Through Slaughter, Please Kill Me, Edie Sedgwick: American Girl, Lolita (duh!)
HeroesGrizzly Bears

     John's Details
Status:Single
Here for:Networking, Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends
Orientation:Straight
Hometown:Toronto / New York
Body type:5' 9" / Body builder
Ethnicity:Pacific Islander
Religion:Scientologist
Zodiac Sign:Cancer
Smoke / Drink:No / Yes
Education:College graduate
Occupation:Writer / Editor / Jerk

   John's Companies
MotherFuckingTiger Jeans
New York, New York US
CEO
Jeans

2004 -
Horsey Pony
Toronto, Ontario CA
Top
Henry's ass

2003 -



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   John's Blurbs
About me:
I'm fat (internally). I like being hung over with others. I'm pretty short. I love bears. The internet? That's weird. My Favourite Food: Raisins! Least Favourite Body Part: Eyebrows (they give away everything!). List an accomplishment: I convinced a tiger to attack a famous magician. Where do I stand on globalization: who the fuck is that? How would I characterize myself: America! When I'm lonely, I think about: Cheese
Who I'd like to meet:
An Owl

   John's Friend Space (Top 7)
John has 118 friends.
 simon W 


 Damian 


 Henri Fabergé and The Adorables 


 Rumple Foreskin 


 Anouk 


 Mr. Pibb + Jose = Crazy Delicious 


 alison p 





John's Friends Comments
Displaying 25 of 48 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
emily

emily



Jun 25 2008 2:36 PM

like, happy birthday.
or whatever.
Give Thanks

Give Thanks



Apr 2 2008 6:57 AM

ghost town.
Sasa

Sasa



Nov 7 2007 2:13 AM

hi!are we still going to hang out?
Henri Fabergé and The Adorables

Henri Fabergé and The Adorables



Jun 28 2007 1:37 PM

You fill me with a desire to squeeze my testicle betwixt thumb and forefinger until it pops.

hdf oxo
emily

emily



Apr 17 2007 2:16 AM

4am phone calls!
emily

emily



Apr 5 2007 4:36 AM

do you still exist?
ben

ben



Mar 12 2007 6:59 PM

the last time i saw you was really fun, and i was in great spirits. then i went home and something snapped and I turned aggro and berated a close friend over AIM who has been travling for 5 months and just wanted to reconnect with the comforts of home. so that says it all about me. lets hang soon, doye.
holly p.

holly p.



Feb 23 2007 6:06 PM

dude,
I'm gonna call you this weekend...
so I hope you're around.
I want to know how your dick is and how your soul is...so get ready.
love hp
emily

emily



Jan 24 2007 7:38 PM

nice headline. though you might consider replacing "skateboard" with "ride a bmx"
Naomi

Naomi



Jan 19 2007 6:54 PM

hello! i'm back in the city. if you're not too busy with the dixie chicks let's get together sometime
Give Thanks

Give Thanks



Jan 8 2007 12:11 AM

Happy New Year broski. Doin well?
holly p.

holly p.



Jan 4 2007 9:55 PM

hey!
It's 2007 and inessa and i are hanging in hawaii framing our jeans and dreaming about slipping a finger each into your ass. hey 2007 the year where dreams come true???
love holly and inessa
p.s. we are subtlely asking if we can slip a finger each into your ass.
holly p.

holly p.



Dec 30 2006 11:05 PM

I miss you inside of me...
inside of my heart, you sick fuck. now get out your dick and do me already! will i ever see you again?
love hp
holly p.

holly p.



Nov 1 2006 8:05 PM

dude.
I think of you every time I take a shit. Which is about 1 1/2 times a day. So know that i shit and that i miss you.
love holly p.
Inessa

Inessa Frantowski



Oct 20 2006 6:58 AM

i miss binging and purging with you.
holly p.

holly p.



Oct 19 2006 4:52 PM

you know what time it is?
time to bang.
so come back to toronto soon.
i'll pretend i'm sleeping and you pretend you want a relationship with me and everyone will be happy.
love holly p.
Jamie King

Jamie King



Oct 6 2006 6:24 PM

Your myspace page is the number one result when I google "ortved". Either you're the most famous person I know or you have a strange name. Anyway, I was trying to find out if in Danish it's spelled with a big slash through the O. If so you should start signing your name "Johnny O" with a big slash through the O. Get it? Danish. Anyway, this is the kind of crap I should be sending to you in an instant message so your other friends don't have to read it. Unfortunately I have deposed the former president of your fan club and I am now turning your comments section into a discussion forum for all things Ortved-related.
Jamie King

Jamie King



Oct 6 2006 6:16 PM

John's not accepting instant messages. In my emotional state that's not the kind of thing I want to be hearing. Fortunately there were only 3 Valium left in the bottle when I found out.
ben

ben



Oct 5 2006 4:46 AM

buy my mixtape!
holly p.

holly p.



Sep 20 2006 3:21 PM

it's just not the same without you here.
come back soon.
this time be ready to do Inessa and I at the same time, okay?
it's so cool you have two dicks.
two beautiful dicks!
love hp
Mr. Pibb + Jose = Crazy Delicious

Mr. Pibb + Jose = Crazy Delicious



Sep 18 2006 5:39 AM

John and I made a new friend this week. He's awfully particular!
Inessa

Inessa Frantowski



Sep 11 2006 6:00 PM

nohomo, that dick sucking party you invited me to was awesome.
holly p.

holly p.



Sep 7 2006 6:14 AM

U R Kinda a big deal.

love holly p.
Inessa

Inessa Frantowski



Sep 1 2006 5:58 AM

At least I found out what the "O" stands for ladies!
holly p.

holly p.



Aug 30 2006 5:59 PM

thanks so much for showing us NYC.
you are one hell of a host J.O.
i guess i just expected more sex with homeless dudes. but i still had fun.
love holly p.
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