There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable; another states that this has already happened.
My name is Rev. Kyle B. Burnside. I am an ordained minister. When a person pees, a small deposit of urine enters the mouth via the saliva glands. I cannot live without music, it is the multifarious art form, it helps me forget all the dumb things I hear all day. I normally look out for my best interests. I'm just a normal mentally imbalanced Scotsman. Celtic warriors sometimes fought their battles naked, their bodies dyed blue from head to toe. I love Washington. I think getting down with mother nature is just keenest! I snowboard, fish, make people feel awkward, I just like being outside. I work as a commercial fisherman in Dutch Harbor AK (in parts of Alaska, it's illegal to feed alcohol to a moose) when I can. Did you know that parts of the Dead Sea Scrolls appeared for sale in the June 1, 1954 issue of the Wall Street Journal? I didn't ... but we can all agree on one thing, nobody liked the lemon jolly ranchers. I love to sketch, write, paint or whatever keeps the mojo goin'.
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I enjoy dabbling in activities which may seem to most as insane or self-destructive, even dancing in the boundries of the pseudo-perverted. A jiffy is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. If it feels good, I'll do it! If it doesn't; well I'll do it about 9 more times before I make a final decision. I don't think I am narcissistic, just better than everyone else. And did you know that every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath at least once a year or that in New York State, it is still illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley car? I hate to be wrong, good thing for me it's not a problem I have to deal with often. I normally just like to do what I want to do, other people's ideas and opinions bore me. I need to own an old wise Chinese midget with a fu manchu beard in a backpack telling me what choices to make, because I have no idea what I am doing anymore. How now brown cow?
"I think psychedelics play a major part in what we do, but having said that, I feel that if somebody's going to experiment with those things they really need to educate themselves about them. People just taking the chemicals and diving in without having any kind of preparation about what they're about to experience tend to have no frame of reference, so they're missing everything flying by and all these new perspectives. It's just a waste. They reach a little bit of spiritual enlightenment, but they end up going, 'Well, now I need that drug to get back there again.' The trick is to use the drugs once to get there, and maybe spend the next ten years trying to get back there without the drug."
"I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
just enough to bring you down."
-MJK
"Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money."
- George Carlin
"By temperament, which is the real law of God, many men are goats and can't help committing adultery when they get a chance; whereas there are numbers of men who, by temperament, can keep their purity and let an opportunity go by if the woman lacks in attractiveness."
Alen failed the piss test. Bill walked away from us downtown in a drunken stuper on his way to Icicle to sign his contract. Back to square one....Could use you kyle...
