4.57 billion years ago today, you, Our Massive Planet, were born out of an act of love... Well, not love. What's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah, chaos and destruction.
God bless you Earth, despite all the negative feelings I harbor towards those hippies that claim to love you so much. It's not your fault they're freaks.
Happy Birthday Our Massive Planet. It's birthday's like this that always slip my mind. When you finally blow up, can you make sure that Algore goes first? Thanks.
hey man, sorry about global warming. We got a little carried away starting with the invention of fire, and it just went downhill from there.
oh, and thanks for apples, they're really good.