Over The Rainbow Carers

Like a pebble in a pond, the ripples continue to grow!!

I love my husband completely, he is my soul mate and we have now been together for 16 years......
however our years as 'Man & Wife' have been very hard ones...
You may say that it's normal for marriages to be tough, but you must understand this hardship was not of our doing!

My husband has worked as a Retail Security Office for over seven years in our local town, and may I add, without incidents... Accept for one day in 2003.
This day was to change both our lives.

On this day, my husband went to work as normal.
After been at work only half an hour, a previously banned individual entered the store, along with another man. They walked around the store for awhile, then they made a 'B'-line for my husband. The banned individual tried to provoke my husband, while the other stood quietly to one side.
Calmly this individual was asked to leave the store..... Which he did!!!
My husband then turned around to ask the other person, to also leave, but before my husband could even speak a word, this person decided to use my husbands face & head as a punch bag.
It took two Police Officers to pull this guy off my husband.

This attack was unprovoked and very violent.

My husband's face was a complete mess. His top front teeth where completely relocated to the right side of his mouth, and needed extensive treatment and reconstruction. He had bruising and cuts, all over his face, plus whiplash.

These however, were only the physical injures ! ..

In the weeks that followed, we saw the real injures this man had caused, but at the time we did not realise what effects they were going to have on us.

My husband began to start having Panic Attacks, Mood Swings, Depression, Aggression, & Apathy.
He started refusing to leave the house, infact he didn't want to be around people at all.
He became isolated, even refusing to answer the telephone, or the front door to visitors.
When I finally did get him outside, we could not go anywhere were there was crowds or more then a handful of people, because he would start to panic.
My husband also became very scared of the dark.

The first year seemed like a nightmare..... lots of arguing, confusion and depression.

We sort help from our local G.P, who prescribed 'Anti-Depressants' for my husband, and referred him to a Psychiatric Nurse..........Who may I add caused more problems then he fixed, as he liked to stare things up and caused many arguments. In the end, after enduring just under a year of his help... we decided that his help, wasn't helping and decided to go on our own........
Which so far is not working out too bad!

We still have our bad days, but we are getting more good ones aswell.

During the first few years of my husbands treatment, both our G.P and Psychiatric Nurse, diagnosed my husband as suffering with P.T.S.D (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Many see this not as a true illness or a disability, as there in no physical effects or illness to see.

We often have people saying to us "There's nothing wrong with you!, You LOOK fine!"
but they never see it from our point of view, they don't have to live with it!!!

Mental Health is as real as any physical illness.... In-fact it's worse, as it's hardier to cure, as there are no physical ailments, and the only treatment, is to remember to breath, as you make your way through each day, and to hope that you get support from who ever cares for you.

I wanted to start this MySpace Page and the Forum/Group.... So that I could meet other Mental Health Carers, and so that I could get some help.

Through the years we have been living with this, not once has someone asked me 'How I'm doing?', 'How's it's effecting me or our children?'.
For some reason Mental Health Carers are over looked !

We have to be a pillar of strength and support, for the person we care for.
My husband got so bad at the beginning, that I had to put everything on hold.... job, pastimes... everything!... So that I could be there 24/7.
And no matter what my husband says, he can't help me through the stress and depression, I have.

How can you talk to someone, about how they are causing...this and this !.... It doesn't work, you just end up, back were you began.... Them hating themselves and seeping further into depression.
So you keep it bottled up and hide how it effects you. And when you get the chance, when no-one is around you have a good cry !

So this is why I'm here... I need to be able to talk to others who know what it's like and can understand..... and I'm sure there are many others, who feel as isolated as me.... Who have no-one else around who understands...

No-one to hear their Voice!!!!!


and so
'Over the Rainbow'
was born


Just to remind me and other carers, aswell as the people we care for.... That there is hope...
There is that Blue Sky and the chance for dreams to come true...
And there is someone who will listen !!


If you are a Mental Health Carer and would like to join 'Over the Rainbow' Group.....
Please click on the link below our Banner.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and I hope to speak to you soon..

Hugs Clare x