classic rock
eisley<3
gorillaz
the ataris
blink 182
plus-44
jack johnson
john mayer
my chemical romance
no use for a name
tilly and the wall
rilo kiley
catch 22(pre streetlight breakoff)
streetlight manifesto
the planet smashers
the aquabats
sufjan stevens
fenix tx
reggie and the full effect
the get up kids
the shins
less than jake
many many others, too many to list.
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Movies
pirates of the carribian
garden state
curious george
dazed and confused
mallrats
dogma
clerks
jay and silent bob strike back
back to the future series
star wars(most of em, cept epi's 1 and 2)
jackass 1+2
idle hands
Television
mythbusters
csi
the office(us and uk)
my name is earl
arrested development(RIP)
boy meets world
that 70s show
seinfeld
24
house m.d.
its always sunny in philadelphia
planet earth
dirty jobs
lost
----this, is, HUGE!!!
Books
the harry potter series
george carlins books
new rules:bill maher
on the road
catcher in the rye
the perks of being a wallflower
chronicals of narnia
a lions tale:around the world in spandex
i am america and so can you!
Heroes
Gil Grissom
David Brent
Micheal Bluth
Ali G
Dr. Jan Itor
Dr. Perry Cox
Dr. Gregory House
Jack Bauer
stephen colbert
jon stewert
About me: i enjoy things that challange the normalities of life. i dont like to agree with things until i have had enough time to make a good, focused, thought out decision about it. alot of the things happening in the world today are bad, and they need to change. experiance is how we learn about the world, and we shouldn't make decisions based on things we are brainfed from day 1. make your own choices, dont agree with something because the higher powers say its right. i myself am a lover of music, good movies, good tv, and good times. im always up for a chat, so if youre bored, feel free to im me at: im the cking
Who I'd like to meet: The Mythbusters
A girl who enjoys things, who i can enjoy things with.
Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Boy. I call mine Sex. He's a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to city Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one, too!" Then I said, "But this is for a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny -- I have the same problem."
One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "This courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said "That's not unusual. It happens to a lot of people."
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was loo
Sweet Dee: What about you, Dennis? Dennis: Well I... Frank: Dennis is a prostitute now. Mac: Good. Dennis: No, I'm not a prostitute, okay? Frank: Yes, he is. Dennis: There is no banging old ladies or dudes, all right? I will be providing a very important service, however, as what I would like to be called: a handsome companion. Mac: To dudes? Charlie: To guys or... Dennis: No, not to dudes. No, hang on. Hold on. Hang on. To old fancy rich ladies who want to do classy, exotic, fancy things with me. Mac: Great, Dennis, you keep banging dudes.
We're twins. Lawyer: Yeah... Sweet Dee: We were born at the same time. What are you talking about. You're not making any sense. Frank: Tell that bitch it doesn't make sense! Lawyer: Okay, I'm reading the words that someone else wrote, kay? I don't know your mom; never met your mom. In fact, I'm certainly not speaking to your mom now, because she's dead! Sweet Dee: Yeah, we know she's dead. We're venting because we're frustrated. Frank: You tell her, she's a goddamned whore--always been a whore! Sweet Dee: Whoa whoa, what about jewelry? Does it say anything about jewelry? Lawyer: It does say something about the jewelry in here, in that um, she wants to be buried in it. Sweet Dee: God damn it... oh god damn it! Frank: Oh! Oh! She's taking it into the grave! Sweet Dee: Tell you what, you son of a bitch, I'm very disappointed in you today--very upset with you! You tell her from me, that I will be in touch with her, somehow... Frank: Yeah, tell her she's a bitch! Lawyer: These are awkward situations, often, and I know it can be difficult... Dennis: [whispering to the lawyer as Frank and Sweet Dee leave] Hey, thanks for the house, dude. Lawyer: You know... [awkwardly "bumping fists" with Dennis] You know, I didn't give you the house... that's not how this whole situation works... Dennis: [gleefully] Yes you did! [laughs] Lawyer: Mmm-hmm, kay. [Dennis leaves] Lawyer: [to himself] Jesus Christ
Lawyer: I am so sorry. My apologies, we're so busy today. It's good to see all of you. Dennis: That's quite alright, sir. Don't worry about it. Listen, would now be a good time to say a few words about my wonderfully warm and caring mother? Sweet Dee: No, just get to the reading part. Frank: Get on with it, man. Let's go. Lawyer: Alright. Uh, which one of you, uh, is Frank Reynolds? Frank: Yo! Lawyer: Okay uh, Frank, I have something here I need to read to you from Barbara. [reading] Frank, if your fat monkey heart is still beating, then congratulations. I want you to know that I hereby leave all of your money to Bruce Mathis, the real father of my children. Dennis: What?! Sweet Dee: What?! Frank: Bruce Mathis?! Lawyer: [reading] A handsome man with a beautiful soul and a nicer penis. Frank: You're giving all of my money to that jerk-off!? Lawyer: You know, Mr. Reynolds, I'm reading what's on the document· Sweet Dee: Why are you giving it to him?! Lawyer: I'm not-- Sweet Dee: She barely even knew him! Lawyer: Yeah, I'm not giving any money to anybody, you see. I'm just reading what's on a will. Frank: Where is that rat bastard?! Lawyer: Sir, I don't know! Frank: 'Cuz I wanna smash his face, until he's dead--killed dead! Dennis: Frank, would you forget about Bruce?! Mom just gave away all of our money! Lawyer: You know what, we should just move forward, okay? [reading] For my darling son, Dennis... presumably. [motioning to Dennis] I give you my house. Dennis: Yeah, okay... well yeah, now it's starting to make sense. Read on. Lawyer: ...on the sole condition that Frank not be allowed in. Dennis: I would never let him in. Frank: What?! Lawyer: Deandra? Sweet Dee: Yes. Lawyer: You get nothing. You were a disappointment and a mistake. Sweet Dee: A mistake? We'r
Charlie: You know, there was a time when I would have helped you raise this little dumpster baby brother of mine like a son, but that's gone now because you've ruined it. You threw your babies away, and you threw your swords away. You threw your golf clubs and your tasty treats, and you know what? I found them, and I'm gonna raise all of them.
Ari Frankel: Your wife says she's afraid of you. I'm here for the dog. Frank: Oh. That woman is amazing! She is amazing! You just met her; she's already got you running errands for her. She's good. She is good! Ari Frankel: Just go get the dog. Frank: I don't have the dog. Ari Frankel: So you've been in here tearing apart pillows and... pooping... on the floor? Frank: [long pause] Yes.
Dennis: I think all these chicks are gay. Sweet Dee: Yeah, I don't know that they're gay, I think they can just smell how disgusting you are. Dennis: Pff...sucks for me.
Mac: [to Sweet Dee and Charlie] Are you two seeing this? [all look over at Dennis] Dennis: [gayly] ...boys are out tonight, huh? Mac: This is unbelievable. What the hell is going on here? You got black women crawling all over you, and this Mary over here is the belle of the ball. Why do these people like you guys so much? Charlie: Well dude, it's not that they like us, it's that they don't like you. You know why? Uhh... because you're an asshole!
Sweet Dee: Charlie, I think you need to see a doctor. This thing looks really bad. Charlie: I did! Sweet Dee: What'd he say? Charlie: He said Janell punched me in my eye!
Dennis: What's the note say? Charlie: All right, yeah. All right, uh, "meet." It starts out "meet" and then there’s, like, other stuff. Dennis: "Meet me in the parking garage, Frank." Charlie: Yeah? Dennis: Yeah. You clearly have a learning disability, dude.
