Paternity Records is a huge corporate label started by the International Kidz Consortium and T.D.O.R. Board of Trustees. We are also loosley affiliated with, the now defunct, mediocrityoflife.com. It would take hours to explain how fantastically rich and successful our company is, so we'll get to that later.
In the meantime you can expect to hear fancy music provided by such astonishing acts as: NEON BIBLE, NEON BIBLE w/KILL THE HIPPIES, THE DAD OF ROCK, PLASTICMAN and a few other surprises along your sweet, golden, magical journey!
The DNA Players have created their first audio drama! It’s a podcast that you can either listen to online or download to your mp3 player!
It’s a four part drama entitled Baron Mephisto the Mystic Vampire: the Dark Hand of the Zombie. It’s a gothic supernatural melodrama in the style of the Shadow radio plays!
The soundtrack is by Dr. Hercules, Rebecca Paiva (director of the great horror cable show Shilling Shockers), Spaceseed, Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys, and Astro Al (what a surprise huh?) All four chapters of the show are now online! Chapter 1 is at the bottom of the page and four is on top with 2 & 3 in between (wow just like counting!)
Are you sick of all the current propaganda politicos running for office? Tired of voting for people who don't really do anything? Sick of choosing between the lesser of two evils? Well now you can vote for the greatest of all evils, me! That's right I encourage all of you to get out and vote for me for God Emperor of the entire planet.
You might be asking yourself why you should vote for me for God Emperor of the Earth. Well the threat of suffering enhanced interrogation techniques from my legion of robot ape beasts should be enough of a reason for you to vote for me. What's that you say? I don't have a legion of robot ape beasts? Well I was planning on building one or more likely I was planning on having a mad scientist create one for me but since that's bound to cost a lot of money let me instead give you some other reasons why you should vote for me.
First off if elected I have some wonderful new holidays that will be enforced by law:
1. Shower with a Celebrity Day: On this fun filled day you get to take a clothes free shower with the celebrity of your choice. Sign up for the celebrity of your choosing now as I'm sure the waiting lists are bound to be long. Dibs on Salma Hayek!
2. Rain Day: Ok this isn't really a holiday per say but by law everyone will get to take off one day a month of their choosing just because it's raining.
3. Hunt a Human Day: All those caught violating any of the other holidays (and I'm sure there will be plenty of morons who will do so) will be rounded up and released unarmed into a wild game reserve where they will be hunted for 24 hours. Those who escape live. Those who don't wind up stuffed and mounted. All who choose not to hunt a human can stay home and drink heavily.
4. Truthiness Day: All who celebrate this glorious holiday must unlock the mysteries behind Stephen Colbert's secret pro-bear agenda.
Hail fuckers! I paid $.99 on iTunes to download THE OCTOPUS. I ended up with a George Michaels butt wash version of Madonna's cover of Cindy Lauper's version of GIRLS JUST-A-WANNA HAVE FUDGE. Shit. Damn it. F*ck! Screw! Piss! Crap. If you do not have the balls to post it or sell it at least you could e-mail me with Adding to the Octopus. I need the Octopus. Help. I know you understand. I need the octupus. I want the Octopus. I love the Octopus. Give me the Octopus....please....bitch...please?
Online Now!
