1. From the last weekend in August until the end of the bowl season, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. The remote control will be fingerprinted each night, any sign of your fingerprints and all shopping trips will be canceled for a month.
2. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting the beers, I don't mind, as long as you crawl along the floor.
3. During the football season, read the sports section of the newspaper so that you understand who I'm yelling at during the season. As a tip, check the box scores for the referees names too.
4. During the games I will be drunk as Cooter Brown. You cannot expect me to listen to you, open the door, kill any spiders, answer the phone, etc. It ain't gonna happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because my team is losing, DO NOT say I'll get over it, it ' s only a game, or don't worry, they'll win next time. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called ' words of encouragement ' will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. If a great play occurs while you are in the room, you may be required to freeze or repeat your act for the rest of the game as good mojo. If my team wins, you will be showered with gifts for the next 6 days. If they lose, you will be blamed repeatedly for moving, blinking or secretly not believing in your heart of the power of mojo.
8. Tell your friends NOT to get married, have any babies, or any other social related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because: I will not go, I will not go, and I will not go. However, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Saturday to watch a game, we will be there before the Coors Light bottles reach ' Code Blue ' .
9. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. College Game day, Sunday Night Countdown and the highlights on Saturday and Sunday night are just as important as the games themselves. Even if I curse the commentators and announcers, I still want to hear what they say.
10. And finally, please save your expressions such as: ' Thank God the football season is only during the Fall. ' I am immune to these words, because after this comes the NFL playoffs, the Pro Bowl, AFL, AFL2, the CFL, and the replays on the college sports channels."
Bullitt East High School
Mt Washington,KY
Graduated: 1991
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Other
Major:
Minor:
Clubs: Licensed Insurance Agent for 11 years
About me: Theres not much to me, work all day, come home to the family and love spending time with them. Each day I can spend with my kids is another day full of memories. Theres NOTHING like fatherhood and I consider myself a pretty good one at that :) Big Philadelphia Eagles football fan, love U of L football and basketball and have been known to hit em around on the links. Enjoy playing my PS3, XBOX 360 and our Wii. Co-founder of Maddennation.com, love being in the lab and working on my skills.
Who said games were for kids? :)
www.youtube.com/outsider9573
Live and Uncut :)
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Who I'd like to meet: Anyone who holds as much anger in them as I have for so many years. I have a couple things Id like to tell them about forgiving and becoming a better person. Just like crack, hate kills! Hug your parents, you never know when things could change!
RIP-RLB
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Alright alright, I finally changed my layout. Now you can visit my page and splooge on your monitor as much as you want without fear of going blind. ..as long as you don't aim for your eyes.
