Mike Scott

About me:

• Electricity is really just organized lightning.
• Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
• Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
• If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
• If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
• Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
• Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
• I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.
• And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, “Fuck waffles.”
• If the cops didn’t see it, I didn’t do it!
• Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin’ ready to hang himself.
......................