Mark Keiller - Drums Mike Lennie - Bass Ross Middlemiss - Guitar Cal Sutherland - Guitar
We all sing.
Influences
Queues at the Post Office, 'hoodies', half pints, shades of brown, the reek of charity shops (cabbage and death), the housing list, the fact that you used to be able to leave your door open and no one would run in and roger you.
Pensioner –noun:
1. a person who receives or lives on a pension
2. a hireling
3. obsolete. A gentleman-at-arms.
4. A four piece band from Dundee, Scotland. Often described as “the greatest in the world”. Ever.
Pensioner were born out of the infinitesimal victories but ultimate failures of the bands Alamos and Juliet Kilo, and the generally poor life choices of Callum Sutherland.
What follows is the true story of four men; a story of fortunes won and lost; a story that will inspire and repulse in equal measure - a story that needs to be told.
Act the 1st
Ross Stanley Middlemiss, sired in the year of Our Lord 1984, was only 9 years old when he first encountered the mysterious stranger with the peaceful eyes and was, therefore, too young to fully comprehend the significance of the events that were to follow. His swift, unthinking response to the offer of the three wishes was ‘I desire the strength of the Ox, the wisdom of the Owl and the speed of the Puma’. His life was henceforth changed forever, and he remains an elegant, yet intimidating figure.
Act the 2nd
A cold and unforgiving wind met Vladimir Mihijalovic as he slipped from the tunnel exit 200 metres beyond the Gulag wall and into the Siberian night. The forged papers, bearing the name Callum Sutherland, were delivered to the farmhouse where he took refuge a few tense weeks thereafter. Upon arriving in Scotland, the former Soviet Submariner fell into a life of petty crime and lewd public behaviour. It was the harsh tutelage of the all-knowing Middlemiss that was to be his ultimate salvation.
Act the 3rd
One of the projects undertaken by Middlemiss and Sutherland was the creation of a prototype electric bass guitar with artificial intelligence. The device was influenced by both the player piano which had delighted Sutherland as a boy in Mirmansk, and The writings of Phillip K. Dick which were and are a favourite of the scholarly Middlemiss. They named their creation Michael Angus Lennie for the purpose of making fraudulent child support claims. They then went on to create a life-like, yet completely non-sentient automation to transport their invention.
Act the 4th
Mark Keiller was only 4 years old when he was orphaned. The family saloon in which he was travelling stood no chance in the head on collision with the articulated lorry full of drum kits. Rendered mute by the traumatic experience, and prone to wild fits of uncontrollable emotion at the slightest percussive sound, it could be considered one of life’s great ironies that drumming remains as his only effective method of communication with the world. Considered something of a curiosity by the others, who adopted him for the purpose of making legitimate child benefit claims after serving community service orders for defrauding the state, he is a danger to women and must be caged most of the time. Nonetheless he became the vital final quarter of this most awe-inspiring of musical acts.
Hey man! Noticed you're response on my event invite for the Luchagors! Hopefully you can still make it along! tix can be bought from clickin the flyer or from Grouchos!
La Folie are having a launch party on the 8th of June at The Forum in Sheffield! £2 advance tickets/£3 on the door! Plus the added bonus of if you film some stuff from the night of us, you or anything else connected and send it us, we will send you a free copy of 'Risus Sardonicus'
It was nice seeing you at The Bear Trap Ross! Looking forward to listening and watching you lot play in The Tunnels.
If you have any of those cakes left, can I send you my address so that you can post them to me? If I was at your last gig, I would have accepted one. And enjoyed it. And said 'thank you'. And might have asked for seconds (only if there was enough to go around).
erm... nae idea man. maybe the marionettes i hear they're pretty good? greater the shadow possibly. sorry i'm no use. you could try Cap Santé, but I'm reletively sure that's a no go.
