Mark Keiller - Drums Mike Lennie - Bass Ross Middlemiss - Guitar Cal Sutherland - Guitar
We all sing.
Influences
Queues at the Post Office, 'hoodies', half pints, shades of brown, the reek of charity shops (cabbage and death), the housing list, the fact that you used to be able to leave your door open and no one would run in and roger you.
Pensioner –noun:
1. a person who receives or lives on a pension
2. a hireling
3. obsolete. A gentleman-at-arms.
4. A four piece band from Dundee, Scotland. Often described as “the greatest in the world”. Ever.
Pensioner was born out of the infinitesimal victories but ultimate failures of the bands Alamos and Juliet Kilo, and the generally poor life choices of Callum Sutherland.
What follows is the true story of four men; a story of fortunes won and lost; a story that will inspire and repulse in equal measure - a story that needs to be told.
Act the 1st
Ross Stanley Middlemiss, sired in the year of Our Lord 1984, was only 9 years of age when he first encountered the mysterious stranger with the peaceful eyes and was, therefore, too young to fully comprehend the significance of the events that were to follow. His swift, unthinking response to the offer of the three wishes was ‘I desire the strength of the Ox, the wisdom of the Owl and the speed of the Puma’. His life was henceforth changed forever, and he remains an elegant, yet intimidating figure.
Act the 2nd
A cold and unforgiving wind met Vladimir Mihijalovic as he slipped from the tunnel exit 200 metres beyond the Gulag wall and into the Siberian night. The forged papers, bearing the name Callum Sutherland, were delivered to the farmhouse where he took refuge a few tense weeks thereafter. Upon arriving in Scotland, the former Soviet Submariner fell into a life of petty crime and lewd public behaviour. It was the harsh tutelage of the all-knowing Middlemiss that was to be his ultimate salvation.
Act the 3rd
One of the projects undertaken by Middlemiss and Sutherland was the creation of a prototype electric bass guitar with artificial intelligence. The device was influenced by both the player piano which had delighted Sutherland as a boy in Mirmansk, and The writings of Phillip K. Dick which were and are a favourite of the scholarly Middlemiss. They named their creation Michael Angus Lennie for the purpose of making fraudulent child support claims. They then went on to create a life-like, yet completely non-sentient automaton to transport their invention.
Act the 4th
Mark Keiller was 4 years old when he was orphaned. The family saloon in which he was travelling stood no chance in the head on collision with the articulated lorry full of drum kits. Rendered mute by the traumatic experience, and prone to wild fits of uncontrollable emotion at the slightest percussive sound, it could be deemed one of life’s great ironies that drumming remains as his only effective method of communication with the world. Considered something of a curiosity by the others, who adopted him for the purpose of making legitimate child benefit claims after serving community service orders for defrauding the state, he is a danger to women and must be caged most of the time. Nonetheless he became the vital final quarter of this most awe-inspiring of musical acts.
TORTURO NERVOSA Full-blast angular punk mayhem from Perth in the style of Fugazi/NoMeansNo/Shellac promoting their new 'Autopsy?' EP. Expect full-blown chaos and bad taste banter! www.myspace.com/torturonervosawillkillyou
SHIELDS UP Short,
sharp, fast no-nonsense old-school hardcore punk from Edinburgh
featuring members of Taking Chase, Ben Cozine and Secta Rouge. Debut
album out now and was Vic Galloway's Record of the Month for September. www.myspace.com/shieldsup
GRADER Newly refined noisy punk/hxc 5-piece from Aberdeen. Sounds to these ears like The Cancer Bats falling out with The Bronx while Set Your Goals point and laugh. This is a good thing. www.myspace.com/gradermusic
YEAH DETRIOT! Super-speedy upbeat melodic tech-skate-pop-punk from Dundee. These guys play a million miles an hour and will be a treat for fans of Slick Shoes/Lagwagon/Strung Out. www.myspace.com/yeahdetroituk
Friday 20th November 2009 The Balcony Bar, Ward Road, Dundee Doors @ 8pm. £3 tax. 1/2 price admission to Entropy club night @ Kage.
Ooooh, well think 9 is the latest our college gig can be so hopefully it will finish on time for me to get a train to Dundee :) Who else have yous got for it likes??? :)
haha i know the boy in drouthies didnt even tell us what had happened, had to phone someone to go on ugs for us what a carry on, glad i got to see you guys play though
Hullo!! Aww that sucks, yeah a few people on my course were saying there was no more gigs at that venue haha was actually just coming online to get the number for the place the now to find out if the gig was still on haha so good thing I checked this first!! Awch yeah I have work on Saturday all day and in the evening unfortunatly haha! Had my Pensioner outfit all planned too! I even managed to make saggy boobs ahaha (Proud of that, even though it shows my lack of a life :P)! You're just going to have to play again soon haha! :)
Wasn't too keen on the first band anyway...... Yeah the headlining act were ace!! Had to leave early to get my bus tho!! :( You's were braw too! Wooo Perth gig isn't that far off now :)
Haha I love Dananananaykroyd :P But it was a good song too haha!
That sound engineer froking destroyed you by the way. It was just drums and smush. He was too busy slinking about in his sisters jeans, munching on Pringles, and doing that DJ thing where faders and pots appear to be hot to the touch. Very odd.
Haha nice one well so far I'm going on my tod haha £6 isn't much for anyone I can find to come along to pay tho! Well I am Erika Fowler haha.. Wooo can't wait :)
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