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Rachel
19
Leicester

Lots, favourites atm being Blow, Lock Stock, Snatch etc.
www.myspace.com/petridish23

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Comment Below =)
My names Rachel, or chuckles according to some..well, one person. I'm studying archaeology at Leicester uni and enjoying it a lot, met some fantastic people while at uni and recently am enjoying and spend most of my time at mosh on most nights but always on a tuesday (use the space!) so yeah, that pretty much sums me up in a nutshell so now I will leave you with some amazing facts produced by our resident zoologist and zooniverse owner Shmal:
-- adults in nepal disguise themselves as tourists by standing on the shoulders of children to escape their village. Alternatively, children on an adults shoulders will be slapped with a sturdy herring on sight
-- Eyebrows are a figment of the imagination. Moustaches, however, were created in a lab and first tested on ducks
-- Vests were originally used to confuse enemies during war time into thinking the opposing army consisted of young boys
-- Bats have approximately the same nutritional value as broccoli (except fruit bats, which are nutritionally similar to a small mango with a side of melon)
-- A tulip actually has three lips
-- Beards were invented by Sebastien Hans Beard in 1813 as a means of alternative wig farming
-- All flamingoes are female - they just split down the middle which is why they have the appearance of one leg - that's just after division. When they appear to have two legs they're ready to divide. Its also why you never see a flamingo face on
-- One of Michael Fish's legs is three feet longer than the other, you just can't notice it with the camera angle they put him at
-- If you stare at Jean-claude Van Damme long enough he will disintegrate. But for every one of him that does this 2 more re-integrate in his place.
-- Did you know David Dickinson is made of anti-matter and has a negative atomic mass?
-- Emperor penguins no longer wish to appreciate the music of barry manilow. They used to, but not any more. I can't tell you why, you'll just have to ask them yourself
-- In space no one can hear you scream. You're not screaming loud enough!! SCREAM LOUDER DAMMIT!!!!!!
-- Henry VIII could eat a mans face off in under 10 seconds
-- In medieval times stags would kill people and devour them codpiece first, which is why codpieces are no longer worn in everyday society - so as not to provoke the deer
-- The nutritional value of a Helmut is more than the value of two Vladimirs but less than half a Jurgen
-- Peruvian folk have no knuckles and exaggerated leg-pits
-- King Arthur was actually a woman who suffered from dwarfism or a young boy with long, girlish hair depending on which translation you use
-- Yoko Ono can't play scrabble as she doesn't know any words
-- When played backwards Cliff Richard sounds like an old woman hitting a goose against a plank of wood
-- Des O'connor's kneecaps are made of straw and cloth
-- Helen Mirren has no odour at all
-- The square root of Hugh Hefner is Peter Stringfellow
Get Some Cool You Suck Graphics Here!!
Young Knives, 27th March, Leicester Uni?
P.s. how was LDN? xxx
one for every day of the year and i don't care if i've repeated myself!! They're there now!
(For leap years) #366: Mr. Sausage, n. The excitable trouser man
#365: Gustbin, n. A rather charming term used to describe the nether regions of a rather large lady
#364: Dustman's Library, n. An archive of vintage recycled niff mags usually found in the cabins of dustcarts, or the portacabins at the local civic amenity site
#363: Vinegar Strokes, n. Of males on the job, the final climactic stages of intercourse or masturbation. From the similar facial expression associated with sipping vinegar
#362: Three Card Trick, rhym. slang. Prick
#361: Brown Betty, n. The mess that can result from back door love with someone with a full or disturbed bowel
#360: Paddle the Pink Canoe, v. To frig. Weekend recreational pursuit of the gusset typist
#359: Keck cougher, n. He who burps backwards, or emits under thunder
#358: Jungle VIP, n. A woman with pendulous breasts. From the apposite lines of the song performed by Louis, the orangutan 'King of the Swingers' in Disney's 'Jungle Book'
#357: Pan Scourer, n. A vagina covered in a coarser grade of muff swarf. Brillo fanny
#356: Arse Wig, n. The tagnutty halo of hair around the gammon ring
#355: Shit, 1. v. To shit, defecate, sink the Bismarck, build a log cabin, crimp one off, light a bum cigar 2. n. Crap, excrement, stools, assorted faecal matter 3. n. Git, sod, get, a shitty person, usually 'little' 4. adj. Crap, useless. 5. exclam. Oh dear
#354: Brownhouse Gases, n. Environmentally harmful emissions from a tail pipe
#353: Well Fair State, n. The state of drunkenness only achievable for many on Giro day
#352: Sonic Bog Lock, n. The random assortment of whistles, coughs, hums and throat clearings that are made by the patron of a public crapper cubicle with no lock on the door
#351: Bat in the Cave, n. A precariously-suspesnded bogie that hangs upsettingly in someone's nostril
#350: Mod's Parka, n. A young lady's clopper of a particularly unattractive mien, resembling a sort of floppy funnel with a bit of flea-bitten fur stuck round the collar. Possibly encountered on Brighton beach whilst a youth in a leather jacket strikes it repeatedly using a length of metal pipe
#349: Sleeping Beast, n. Flaccid cock, marshmallowed main pipe. A dead budgie
#348: Guard Dogs, n. A pack of fierce hounds that accompany their attractive friend, preventing any bloke from trying his luck
#347: Dilm, n. Unpleasant-tasting spermicidal lubricant on a dunkie
#346: Beer Halo, n. Alcohol-induced self-righteousness
#345: Sexile, n. A forlorn, lonely fellow in a bar, constantly checking his watch and desperately trying to make a half last all evening because his flatmate is getting his end away