I Married a Monster From Outer Space, I Had an Affair with the Thing from Uranus, I Fooled Around with a Zombie, I Let Cthulhu Give Me a Hickey
Books
Phantasmapedia, Monster Behind the Wheel, Slime After Slime, Pickman's Motel, Motivational Shrieker, Professor LaGungo's Exotic Artifacts & Assorted Mystic Collectibles, Men are From Hell - Women are From the Galaxy of Death, At the Foothills of Frenzy
About me: Alas, Mark accidentally got his genes mixed with those of a trout...AGAIN! Oh well, whatcha gonna do?
RECENTLY RELEASED: A digital chapbook by Mark McLaughlin and Michael McCarty, PROFESSOR LaGUNGO’S DELIRIOUS DOWNLOAD OF DIGITAL DEVILTRY & DOOM, has been released by the electronic publishing division of Horror-mall.com. In Professor LaGungo's wicked shop of second-hand evil, if you break it, you've bought it - with your soul!
HOT NEWS: Skullvines Press has just released Mark McLaughlin's new story collection, TWISTED TALES FOR SICK PUPPIES. Those of you who enjoyed his previous collection, SLIME AFTER SLIME, will find that Mark has scaled new heights of grisly gruesomeness (or is it gruesome grisliness?) in this latest collection.
Here's a little movie about the book:
Visit Skullvines(dot)com to find out more about TWISTED TALES FOR SICK PUPPIES.
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! BEFORE YOU START READING ABOUT PHANTASMAPEDIA, PLAY THESE TWO VIDEOS TO FIND OUT ABOUT A COUPLE OF MONSTER BOOKS: MONSTER BEHIND THE WHEEL AND ATTACK OF THE TWO-HEADED POETRY MONSTER...
Here's a THIRD movie about something else altogether! It has nothing to do with anything else on this page, but what the heck!
NOW ... Let's get back to some of the strangest creatures you will ever encounter ... in PHANTASMAPEDIA ...
PHANTASMAPEDIA
An Alphabestiary of Little-Known Demons, Entities, Mutants, and Pseudo-Biological Aberrations
by Mark McLaughlin
The initial signed and lettered limited edition print-run sold out fast, so Dead Letter Press has reprinted PHANTASMAPEDIA in an unlettered edition (and therefore less expensive) limited to 100 copies. The publisher's website is www.deadletterpress.com.
So what IS Phantasmapedia, anyway?
Phantasmapedia is a chapbook collection of poems about 32 little-known creatures -- demons, entities, mutants, and pseudo-biological aberrations.
Even though you may not have heard of the 32 beings in this chapbook, there is a good chance one or more of them could be influencing your life. Are you having difficulty losing weight? You could be the victim of Adipossums, or maybe Glucozoth, Lord of Candy. Having memory problems? Brown Creepers could be to blame. Is your computer acting strangely? Internet Witches may have sent a special virus your way. Are you hopelessly insane or terminally ill? Perhaps you've crossed paths with the Yellow-Tailed Satanus or the Oncoloscarabaeus. Phantasmapedia also reveals the ultimate destiny of life on Earth, as well as a variety of other arcane secrets. This one-of-a-kind chapbook has been released as a signed, lettered limited edition.
About the Author: Mark McLaughlin's fiction, nonfiction and poetry have appeared in hundreds of magazines, anthologies, newspapers and websites. His books of short stories include Slime After Slime, Motivational Shrieker, Pickman's Motel, and a three-way collection with Shane Ryan Staley and Bright Knight entitled At The Foothills Of Frenzy. His poetry collections include Professor LaGungo's Exotic Artifacts & Assorted Mystic Collectibles, The Spiderweb Tree, and Men Are From Hell, Women Are From The Galaxy Of Death. He is the co-author, with Rain Graves and David Niall Wilson, of the poetry book The Gossamer Eye, which won a Bram Stoker Award for Superior Achievement in Poetry.
In 2008, Corrosion Press will release Monster Behind The Wheel, a horror/adventure novel written by Mark with collaborator Michael McCarty. You can find out more about Monster Behind The Wheel and Mark's other projects at Mark's Author Section at Horror-Mall.com.
Here are the creatures you will meet in PHANTASMAPEDIA:
A is for Adipossum
B is for Blammoeba
B is for Brown Creeper
C is for Control Freak
D is for Dungfish
E is for Elefantoccini
F is for Fire Slug
G is for Glucozoth
G is for Granddaddy Longlegs
H is for Heliosaurus
I is for Internet Witch
J is for Jellychicken
K is for Kleptomunculi
L is for Lungpuppy
M is for Mollywog
N is for Necromorph
O is for Oncoloscarabaeus
P is for Plastozoid
P is for Polyglotcha
Q is for Quetzalcuckoo
R is for Rat-A-Tattlers
S is for Sewer Clam
T is for Theodoptera
T is for Tumble Roach
U is for Ultragorgon
U is for Urban Lamprey
V is for Vyvyka Megamega
W is for Were-Mannequin
X is for Xeno Sapiens
Y is for Yellow-Tailed Satanus
Z is for Zumble Bee
Z is for Zzhark ..
Some sample poems by Mark McLaughlin for your amusement!
E is for Elefantoccini
from PHANTASMAPEDIA, 2007, Dead Letter Press
(c) 2007 Mark McLaughlin
An obscure genius, appropriately named
Obscuro, once crafted an enormous puppet
operated by seven strong, silent men
pulling dozens of black wires on a black stage
in a candlelit theatre. The seven puppeteers
wore black tights, black gloves, black masks.
The puppet, a wooden elephant with batwings,
glowed beautifully -- its silken hide was dyed
in a ghostly rainbow of phosphorescent hues.
The Elefantoccini swooped and soared
across the stage, delighting crowned heads,
artists, scholars, and giggling courtesans.
Before Obscuro died (he was obscenely old)
he had the puppet moved into a courtyard
next to the theatre. He then paid a witch
to shift his soul into the winged colossus.
The Elefantoccini soared up, up, up
into the night sky. But the puppet had no brain.
Obscuro had forgotten to add one,
so his soul had nothing to think with.
The Elefantoccini flew without a direction
or a care, going nowhere in grand style.
T is for Theodoptera
from PHANTASMAPEDIA, 2007, Dead Letter Press
(c) 2007 Mark McLaughlin
Wings, exquisite wings,
wings of shining kaleidoscopic ecstasy,
all aflutter with images, flavors, textures,
scents, sounds, sensations, delights,
smiling babies, perfect roses, baking bread,
lovers embracing, kittens, crystals, katydids,
island sunsets, fresh carrots, black pearls,
cashmere sweaters and violins, always violins.
Assemble enough happy folks
in one place long enough
and the Theodoptera will surely appear
from out of nowhere and everywhere,
far above their heads.
It will then flutter off into space, carrying
that bliss, that beauty, that sheer perfection
straight to God.
Always Falling
from Space & Time Magazine No. 99, Spring 2005
(c) 2005 Mark McLaughlin
And she stared into my eyes and talked about
her dead Belgian grandma as we drank ink-black
coffee at our favorite table, the one by the window,
over a cider bottle crammed with violets. Outside,
catalpa blossoms fell like angels.
And I talked, and she stared with her dead
grandma's angel eyes, as we drank Belgian cider
in our favorite catalpa tree, the one crammed
with coffee-black blossoms. Inside the window,
violets fell like ink bottles.
And her grandma crammed dead cider blossoms
in a Belgian bottle, as we drank black ink and
talked about coffee trees and catalpa tables.
I stared into her violet windows, those angel eyes,
my favorite eyes, and in I fell.
Wicked Queen
from THE SPIDERWEB TREE, 2003, Yellow Bat Press
(c) 2003 Mark McLaughlin
She was born
with a black umbilical cord.
She has blood-red lips, purple eyelids
and lustrously long, thick black lashes --
and that’s without her make-up.
Her scarlet nails naturally grow into
needle-thin points. Her insidious gaze
makes any mirror magical.
Glass paperweights become mystic
crystal balls when stroked gently,
lovingly by her claws. She is a creature
of beautiful horror and horrible beauty,
as cold and delicate as ice crystals
in a winter spiderweb. She is exquisite,
unique -- and without companion.
Nature does not dare to create
her mate, and no lesser creature
has the courage to woo her.
Shadows long and monsters tall,
who is the saddest one of all?
The answer can be found
in her mirror.
Who I'd like to meet: YOU!
Mark McLaughlin and Phantasmapedia's Friend Space (Top 39)
Mark McLaughlin and Phantasmapedia has 269 friends.
Coming to the Sci-Fi channel, DVD, and international distribution this fall Starring Academy Award Nominee Eric Roberts Swedish Star Frida Farrell Broadway Star Kevin Stapleton
I'll miss the Great Sewer Clam. What happened? I hope he didn't end up in a chowder. But if he did, I hope it was Manhattan-style. As the song goes, "I'll take Manhattan"!
Hey! Where is Vyvyka Megamega's black clove cigarette which she smokes and the black sunglasses she always wears? Did she decide to put her best face forward while in a photographer's studio in Illinois? This is truly a shocking development!
Hello, Clam-Lips and Puny Human -- Big congratulations from the hairy biped rectangular WGA booster on making it onto the Preliminary Ballot for the Stokers! I can say with authority that better-known beasts, demons, entities, mutants, and pseudo-biological aberrations -- namely kitty, iguana, tarantula, parakeet, frog, newt, and fish from beyond the grave -- are also happy for you.
We would love to see photographs of the joyous occasion or at least video stills of the carnage from mass guest consumption. Where will the two spend their honeymoon? Someplace on the bride's homeplanet of Mars near the rovers so the Internet Witch may sip from their wireless internet connections? Or perhaps beneath a busy metropolitan area so Mr. Clam will be comfortable. On that note, will the Internet Witch be known as Mrs. Clam or Mrs. Witch-Clam from now on? I'm sure their children will be quite... quite... interesting, at least with pleasant dominant trait widow's peaks.
So who officiated the marriage between you and said sewer clam? The Control Freak? Or some as yet unmentioned intergalactic being. A being who has a great desire to crossbreed beasts and humans into new hybrid superbeings, who will serve as minions to take over this galaxy, to bring general mayhem and remove tags from pillows!! AUGH!
So, how was the wedding and what were the colors? Sorry we missed it.
Online Now!
