o+

my nature, character, has always been one that demands intuition. perhaps demands too much of those around me. perhaps gives too much credit. not that those around me aren't worthy, but that i put too much expectation on everyone, including myself. i have discovered i idealize alot, i make things more than what they are. exaggerate. i exaggerate things. bigger than what they were, more colourful, faster, smarter, more intelligent, with more smell, with more presence, more rich or pungent, crunchier, tangible and palpable. my fault. ..of many, but a big one if my observations are clear.
another thing, this demand or idealism also means that i give out tons of clues to my life in the way, the careful way i say things. this is all times, all situations. only i hear the riddle and answer clearly. perhaps it is a game - or.. maybe a test to see if i can find myself in all those that i meet. of course no one can pass this test unless there is an exact copy of me, but that is nonsense because the exact copy would have to be exactly me. two me's existing in the same spot is just one me. these clues and cryptic way i am, is the way i am. i look to see where it comes from in my life, it is difficult since it has existed for a long time. i feel it comes from having to entertain myself while developing through my childhood.

but this said, i embark on a new kind of journey. i have a short time to figure out how to translate it, create the key, the doorway for others to follow. maybe it can't happen. i'm probably just mad. but either way something will happen. something always happens.








pocket crumbs

• my favourite starwars droids: power droid, 4-lom, r1-g4, r4-19, rd-d4, and cz-4
• will stop to smell the clouds. a little bit of cloud tucked behind the ear helps the imagination.
• likes tattoos (the draw on kind)
• thus, is known (to some) as "mr. clean"
• walks funny at times (due to avoiding bug squishy)
• not a camera snoot. (a box is a box)
• does not dance conventially
• not a goer of concert or religion
• likes play money
• doesn't know own address, phone number, and at times forgets conventional linear age
• sketches and doodles on favourite notecard sized post-it note
• everyone who has ever known him, together, knows everything about him
• has no history of drug or smoke. but, likes the smell of raw cigarette and likes the packaging as well
• likes the liquor section/store because of the textures of light through glass and liquid
• likes drinking from see-thru receptacles
• can fly at will in dreams
• still gets presents from santa but really doesn't speak about that much
• loves doing laundry and especially loves the part about the little basket that keeps one's lint safe. warm laundry rooms or o-mats are fully of good comforts and feelings
• some favourite smells: whitman play money, raw jack-o-lantern pumpkin, candle-heated pumpkin, old library books (too many varietes to list - don't have category names anyway), frozen cardboard pizza box, the exhale after a deep inhale outside in 40º or lower temperatures (both inhale and exhale through nose)
• likes glassy winter-time candy dishes (especially with those peanut shaped ones and the ribbons)
• i like being there to witness the ghosts of flame leaping to aspirations.
• the sound of paper being cut (especially a heavy paper)

crumbs are the people i find true and lasting rhythm with. they are the leftovers and stray bits of the mass but no less than where they come from... humanity. the cookie-cut society is not what crumbs are a part of. they have broken off. they are overlooked because of the ground they keep. seemingly not worth much, but collect them together, forget to dust long enough, and those crumbs can make a wonderful mess of things in the niche, crook, and crawl-space of common refrain.







the crumbs of existence ever-changing in the pockets of our reality.


[sic], malapropisms, double entendre, euphemisms, analogies, anagrams, and other sorts like that.. i use these naturally, instinctually, sometimes on purpose but usually mistakenly - or are they mistakes?.. hmm... i just like word play.

when writing i do the same thing. this is why i would like you to know about [sic].

sic: intentionally so written -- used after a printed word or passage to indicate that it is intended exactly as printed or to indicate that it exactly reproduces an original i.e. "said he seed [sic] it all"

unsure if this has been coined already but i use this word alot and it came to be because the word "verbatim" just didn't fit: "occulatim" which i use to mean that something is "done as seen" or "as shown." being a visual person it is a good word to have, and to have others know the meaning of so they know what i'm talking about. fortunately this "word" is intuitively understandable.

when i speak i tend to enter without context or i lack segues.. this saying comes to mind as well..

brevis esse laboro obscurus fio
(i labour to be brief, and i become obscure)



some more interests... [pops knuckles]

i have many that will quickly come out in conversation, but as i think of them i'll put the ones i can express in writing here.

two to start.. the process of expression is my toy. and i thrive on stories from my friends or those who would be my friends.



you'll catch me smelling all everything. not without thinking though, but it may look like it at times.

i find delight in discovering fingerprints left on things sent through the post mail.. especially from friends. makes me smile everytime.

i like seeing blue light cast off of dark brown wood.

golden age video arcades. the link takes you to one of the best single collections of golden age arcades i've ever been able to find anywhere. the story behind the collection is equally fantastic. it felt like every single emotion i had exploded when i realized that i had finally found what i had been looking for for so long. i can talk hours on the subject (arcades and the find), the culture, the emotion. reality bends on me when i enter that place of mind.



pac-man (specifically "pop-man" a bootleg chip that replaces pac-man with a yellow popeye head)



dreams, sleep, stars, wishes, things nightly

textures are appealing. my hands are not the only ones who indulge in the sensation of the various tooth.

urban cultural bits (what i call bituminal)

straw wrapper shooting - fantastic stuff

i find patterns inside security envelopes irresistible

story telling (i am a closet dramatic - "give me a quarter and i'll tell you your fortune")

i like rolling around (skates, boards, carpet, etc.)



i like the buzz of any kind of light.

looking at the world through a thick glass full of water and rotating on a swiveling chair, not too much though.. i get motion sick easily

which is why i can't watch many amateur or home movies or anything with too much jiggle - blair witch? barforama. go buy yourself a steadycam.

but on the other hand, i enjoy a good rollercoaster, my motion sickness is specific to certain motions. swinging back and forth, twirling around, jiggling, or too much head and eye movement while looking in antique or thrift stores, all do me in.

during the time i was a pixel-monkey, i developed a love for the pixel. finding a good pixel tool for the macintosh was difficult. but the below image will take you to the best pixel editor (in my opinion) for the mac.


"electric crumbs" ~ electronic expression in general. "electric squares" is what i call my pixel by pixel expressions.

using my body. i.e. moving around, breathing, jumping, making non-mouth noises, trying to find my blind spot, you know.

casual juggling (not of bills.. of balls)

food advertisements and old appliances.

at times i "snap" and buy comfort foods i'd long since thought to be uncomfortable: beef jerky, beef sandwiches, and greasy fast foods - i.e. onion rings, amoung others. oh yes, a good cheese. but i've been doing better lately. i'll do better futurely because i need this body to last me awhile.


the sound of coins falling through vending machine slots is pleasing to me.



old toasters (nothing a bagel can fit into)

public bathrooms and water closet culture. i am not shy to speak on this subject, everyone poops.

rootbeer (especially utilized in floats)

microwave cookbooks (inherently late 1970's) are neat to look at, but i can never bring myself to buy them. i think i just like the pictures. sometimes the typesetting and binding are neat, reflective of a design era sadly(my pov) fading away.

i like pictures of food and grocery stores.

i am hysterical about 60's and 70's (with a bit of the early 80's) picture frames - with the photo inserts.

i like the sound of any language being spoken through a yawn.

likewise, i am enamoured by the attempt at speach through laughter.




i have an urge to buy old patterned towels from the 70's (especially green and orange ones). but i restrain myself (mostly).

every november first i go out with pockets full of magic lint. i offer it to the rotting gourd-flesh who do their best to keep the spook cast upon them. those that take my philtrey fibers find everlasting spook in special hollows of the heart.

i like to observe breath in cold or humid air.

expression. it is everywhere. and everyone has it. not just artists, not just writers, or whatever categorical word i can write here, all peoples. and iiiii like it!

interaction with minds, made vibrant by their similarities and differences but bonded by their understanding

crumbs