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James

Howdi Kids I am James. Anything more detailed about myself im not quite sure. but ill give you the basics. I go through life as everyone else does, i try to make the right decisions when i come to them, i try to be selfless and do what i believe is right, and this changes in all circumstances but usually its protecting the ones i love from sadness and grief. I put this here because when i was young i believed that this is what everyone does, but it isn't. if we just step back and look at this world we can see that it has been built on greed exploitation and dusting all the shit under the carpet so no one notices. but im sure you all know this. I go to Clifton college, which is one of the weirdest and uncomfortable places i have ever been to. it has a seriously low number of people that are true to themselves and are living in the same reality as the rest of mankind. Cardiff is my home, thats where i belong. i hang with what everyone else would class as "emos". I don't like that term, i think the majority if people who calls them self an emo has aspired to become what they believe is an emo, not many have actually looked inside themselves and just turned out that way. despite this most of the emos are kind and welcoming, you can just go down there and make friends with complete randomers and have a good time.

Life

Ok i just want to talk bout our goals in life and what people do with our lives. cause like loadsa people dont think about it and just go through it without much idea of whats happening. I think that most people tend to fall into the trap society has built for us of just aiming to make the most money possible, so we can fulfill our hedonistic needs, well thats the attitude at Clifton. the most important thing for me is my freedom, after that love. It may sound kind of weird but once i get my degree and an okish job i will be free from the chains of money worries, then i will have as much freedom as they give us. what are you gunna do? just find something meaningful, like preserve the wellbeing of your friends or something. i dunno its just something people need to here cause i know people who dont think bout how they live there life, an it pisses me off. anyway peace

LOVE

Ok in about September 07 i fell in with Isabelle. She helped me go through a time of depression in my life where i was really lost and confused, im still slightly confused but she has given me a clear reason to live. I love her because she is, kind, affectionate, funny, and caring. She can see past all my faults, my drinking and my odd logic and manage to love me for who i am. i dont know why, its kind of odd. but i know that we love each other very deeply. i think she is the only girl i know who would stick by me despite me going away for college and going weeks without seeing me. Im grateful for her existence and id be very lonely without her. If i had a choice id spend my life with this person, but sadly in reality things dont turn out quite like that, but i will try. I hope whoever you are reading this you manage to find someone like that in your life, i also wish you the best in seeing that person more often than i see Isabelle. anyway, rant over. take a look

Hate

Things make me angry, many things. Im quite an angry person i just bottle it up until the chance comes to let it out. I shall list the things that annoy me the most and you can help me avoid them and so keep me happy =)
People, people are the worst thing on earth. People fight each other, take pleasure in others misfortune, they can be stupid (eg having to explain to my brother why bullfighting is bad), they are selfish and mean and cruel and have bad senses of humor and they don't think about the consequences of there actions or the feelings of others and they like power and money and errrrgh we are generally shit. and im not saying that i don't have any of these vices, in fact i believe i probably have more of these than you do, but if i weren't around nasty people atleast id only have to deal with my own evil, not theres too. I like sea cucumbers, i wish i was a sea cucumber. they are cool, when a sea turtle comes there assholes invert and lots of toxic tube thingys are shot at the turtle, this makes it confused. and even if they do get eaten its at least they tried in the most cool manner. I also hate oranges, they are waxy and dont taste nice and make your face want to scrunch up. I hate money, people think that if they have more, they can buy things of more value, but things are not valued by there price, but of there value to us, so people just end up with more to loose. to a tramp a £10 is alot, to a millionaire it is a little. we should try and appreciate what we have and realize that the more we own, the more we have to become attached to and loose. Ask the Buddha, he agrees with me. I hate power, because the people who strive for it are very rarely the people who deserve it. I hate control, it takes away my beloved free will. I hate my body, i never feel comfortable in it, i always have to tense neglected muscles or open blood vessels or stuff. I hate expectations, because they always are better than reality. talking of reality, i also hate that, its never as good as what we can make up. i hate anger, i feel it alot and it makes me hate things.

FRIENDSHIP

Ok, i have 2 real friends, the friends that i have spent years with, through the good times and the times which arnt so fantastic. Daniel, who I have known since i was little. And Matthew who is new to the clan but joined us as another social outcast in our school. but he fits in nicely.

SCHOOL

As of September 2007 i go to Clifton college. Big scary posh school in Bristol. I don't like it. There is like no one there i can relate to. yeah there are people i like but they could never be like true friends. James is my closest friend, but he hangs with other people, and doesn't invite me to stuff and makes me feel abit left out. Whats depressing is i know everyone in my classes and in my house, and its hard to know anyone else because you never see them. ive met almost everyone i could know and i haven't found a real good friend in any of them. how gay. i hope i find nice people at uni.

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