Preston Casanova... HAPPIEST American Dog!

1. MY MOMMY 2. my monkey (see photos section!) 3. ~> Infinity? turning tricks for num nums & greenies, bowling, frisbee, football, jump roping, basketball, and most athletic endeavours, pawing open my treat cupboard and stealing stuff when no one is looking, learning guitar from michael, playing on see-saws with my mom, who's boobs alone are heavier than me thus i spend a lot of time in the air and hate it, chasing small children who think i'm too cute to be viscious, walking off leash, peeing on roses next to signs that say "do not touch", befriending homeless men who collect recyclables out of the garbage dump by my car... yeah Brian, it's all about "Freeeeedom dawg!", growling at gardners who stare longingly at my mom's you know whats, introducing hot, smart & sexy men to my mom using the wit and charm of cupid, beating up biscuit, my neighbor and ex-best friend, for making a mess after dry humping me, curling up on our faux bear rug in front of the fire, licking drips of meat juice from the george foreman grill off the floor, long romantic walks on the beach with my mom and her flavors of the week, or in most cases, year, licking seth awake from his naps because he was a tasty organic flavor, sneezing for uncle keegan who is way too easy to impress, loving brandon 24/7 (except when he sings the little little preston song), loving his son- my adopted bro- peppy, even more... being so damn cute that even people who say "i never liked small dogs!" can't help but freakin' adore me, booking every audition i go on cuz i know like 50 tricks, aka behaviours, kickin it on set making lots of money as a super model & actor, giving back to the community, feeding the homeless my leftover num nums, running in marathons with cancer victims and their families and my mom, hoping president bush and his entire family, administration, etc would have a tea party with bin laadan and be bombed, hiking up runyon and temescal canyon & being carried down cuz i am too precious to pant, picnics at the hollywood dog park, reflecting on life and how lucky i am to be me, peeing on my mom's head when i accidentally have wet dreams, making sweet love to my monkey- i think i said that, but he's just soooo good, rolling on my back so people caress my sexy belly, accidentally (not!) sticking my tongue in my mum's mouth, not caring who gets grossed out because to every ex-boyfriend who cried, "you love your dog more than me!" (yeah don't think you're the only one) haaaaaaa, it's true.

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