LADIES, GENTALMEN, AND JUGGALOS WORLD WIDE.  I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT IT IS HARD WORK BEING A JUGGALO.  BECAUSE EVERYWERE A JUGGALO TURNS, THERES A HATER THERE. AND IT SEEMS LIKE THE HATERS ALWAYS OUT NUMBER A JUGGALO, AND THEY LASH OUT, THEY PUNCH US, AND KICK US. SLAM US AND BEAT US DOWN.  BUT, THE HATERS CAN'T HOLD US DOWN BECAUSE A JUGGALOS SPRIT WILL NEVER DIE.  AND THEN THE DAY WILL COME, OH YES THAT GLORIOUS DAY WILL COME WHEN THE TABLES ARE TURNED WHEN JUGGALOS OUT NUMBER THE HATERS, HELL WE DON'T HAVE TO OUT NUMBER THE HATERS JUST ONE ON ONE, AND THE JUGGALO WILL RISE ON TOP AND STAND UP OVER TOP OF THE BROKEN AND BEATEN HATER AND JUST LAUGH...

SEE THE FREAK SHOW 3000 HAS REUNITED, JOEY TERROFYN, THE SOUTHWEST STRANGLA , AND VIOLENT ED, AND WE WILL GET OUR DAY WERE THE NUMBERS GAME WILL BE EVEN, AND HEAVENS DECENT WILL FALL EVEN FURTHER DOWN, AND LOOK UP TO A JUGGALO AND BEG FOR FORGIVNESS. BUT WILL A JUGGALO HAVE FORGIVNESS?

On the 1st day, GOD created Duelie Trailer and then asked permission to create the Heavens & The Earth!
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Duelie Trailer allows to live.
Duelie Trailer does not sleep. He allows time to be.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Duelie Trailer.

When Duelie Trailer sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.

Duelie Trailer once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

If you spell Duelie Trailer in Scrabble, you win.

Duelie Trailer once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Duelie Trailer once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Duelie Trailer turned that wine into beer.

When Duelie Trailer Showers he doesn't get wet, the water gets Duelie Trailer.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Duelie Trailer has breathed on.

Duelie Trailer once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Duelie Trailer won by 5.

Duelie Trailer once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

There are no races, only countries of people Duelie Trailer has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

Duelie Trailer CAN Believe it's Not Butter.

While urinating, Duelie Trailer is easily capable of welding titanium.

When taking the SAT, write "Duelie Trailer" for every answer. You will score over 8000

Duelie Trailer doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Duelie Trailer Throws Down!

There are no Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq, Duelie Trailer lives in a Trailer Park in Iowa.

WE DESTORIED THE REDNECK FAMILY FOR GOOD, AND NOW WE, THE PRIMOS JUGGALO FAMILY FACE ANOTHER THREAT.  HEAVENS DECENT. THAT WAS A PUNK MOVE ATTACKING MY PARTNER, MY BROTHER, JOEY TERROFYIN FROM BEHIND AND BEATING HIM DOWN. SO I GUESS THE FIRST LISTEN YOU WILL LEARN IS THAT A JUGGALO WILL NEVER DIE...  AND NOW YOU WILL LEARN HOW HARD IT IS TO BREATH WHEN THE SOUTHWEST STRANGLA HAS HIS HANDS AROUND YOUR NECK.  AND MAN THAT KNOWS 1,001 DIFFERENT WAYS OF UNMERCIFULLY INFLECTING PAIN APON THE JUGGALO HATERS, JOEY TERROFYIN... SHIT IT HURTS ME JUST TO THINK ABOUT WHAT WE, UNITED, JOEY TERROFYIN, AND THE SOUTHWEST STRANGLA, THE FREAKSHOW 3000, WILL DO TO YOU  BLOOD SUCKING, ALTER BOY REJECT, EMO FAGS.  IT WILL BE A GLORIOUS DAY WHEN WE DO THE HEADLESS BOGGIE ON YOUR DEAD BODIES.