Eulogy Read at Spider's Funeral

You only need one word to describe Spider. SPIDER. There aren't any other words in any language that encompass the man we all knew. Everything from man to magnificent falls well short.

In the late 40's and early 50's Spider was a nutt for jazz and blues. Making friends with people like Etta James, Sonny Rollins, Big May Bell and countless others. By the late 50's he was a beatnik and he even rode the hippie train for awhile in the 60's. But in 1976 Spider found himself in England as a DJ at a club. He had the best sound and lighting system in London when he was approached by Malcolm McLaren to lend his services to the first 2 Sex Pistols gigs. With the punk scene exploding in London that was it for Spider, he was once again right in the thick of the latest subculture movement. According to Spider there has never been another movement since, that was worth jumping on.

Spider spent the next few years working at Woolworth's, spending his lunches cooking food for the new band Motorhead, and running home after work to put soap in his hair before he went out to one if not all of the Punk clubs. When Spider says he danced the night away, he means it. And man could that guy dance. If you don't believe it check out The Punk Rock Movie and look for the skinny guy in a pair of blue jeans dancing like crazy during Slaughter & The Dogs.

In 1981 it was just another night for Spider in the clubs of London, when he received news of his mother's passing. He would always tell how Vie Subversa from the Poison Girls sat with him at the airport all night to see him off, back home to Toronto. Spider loved his mother more than anything, and we have her to thank for what an outstanding human being Spider was. She was founder of the Christian Science Church in Toronto, and despite her religious outlooks, always accepted Spider for who he was and would help Spider and his friends no matter what they were up to – which was usually no good!

After his mother's passing Spider decided not to stay in the city and that is when he bought a farm in Marmora, Ontario. What started as a few friends and a band helping Spider celebrate his birthday in the early 80's, by the end of the decade, had turned into PUNKFEST. A festival celebrating Spider's birthday with the most hard core bands around and the party to match. In the early 90's it was no longer just about Spider's birthday. Spider always loved animals, you could tell by the 5 dogs and 15 cats that were always hanging around, and now that he had a festival on his hands; why not give money to help out animals? And so he did. By the mid 90's there were thousands in attendance at PUNKFEST and Spider's friends and their bands were now coming from all over the world to celebrate his birthday and support his cause.

On a daily basis Spider did everything he could to help everyone around him. This meant that sometimes you would ride with him for 8 hours to go help someone who had called with a problem. If Spider thought you really needed a break and some time to sort things out, he'd haul you back to the farm and help you fix whatever mess you might be in. There was no end to his compassion for other people and animals. His patients with people was second to none, maybe not in the heat of the moment, but in the long run no matter how much you kept screwing up he still was there for you. Spider would always quote his mother with the following - 'A person needs as many chances as they need to prove themselves, never give up on anyone or anything'.

When Spider wasn't busy helping people he was busy entertaining them. Not another person in history has stories the likes of Spider's. They would span the globe and always contained the most outrageous tales, accompanied by the most outlandish characters. Spider had the ability to make every person in the room feel as if he was talking just to them. He had no judgments to pass on anyone, and as a result made everyone around him feel special and important. Spider was always busy living life and being in the now, his aura created an atmosphere of invincibility and adventure. No one could escape it, from the lady in the bank to the stranger on the corner, when Spider walked by you couldn't help but see what it's like to live without inhibitions or insecurities. A man who was never afraid to be himself or to stand up and say what needed to be said, or to reach out and lend a hand to anyone that needed it.

Without all of you this funeral wouldn't have been possible. The support for Spider has been second to none. He's always been proud of his friends and you've all proven just why that is.

J. Gonzo

Copyright © 2009 Warren 'Spider' Hastings Memorial. All Rights Reserved. WarrenHastings.com is managed and maintained by the family & friends of Spider.

Punkfest is a long running 3-day Punk bash which has partied with the likes of the UK Subs (UK), Red Alert (UK), The Restarts (UK), Dayglo Abortions (Vic, BC), Bunchofuckingoofs (TO, ON), Oppressed Logic (CAL, USA), UrbnDK (WI, USA), Total Chaos (CA, USA), Spider Cunts (NY, US) and on and on and on. This is a private party to honour Spider's Birthday. However, friends of punk rock are more than welcome to come. There is a $30 donation needed to enjoy the fest, but camping is free. Please remember that glass bottles are for fuck wads, bring cans.