Crickett

About me:

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NOTICE: UNKNOWN MALES SENDING UNSOLICITED MESSAGES WILL BE IGNORED. NO EXCEPTIONS. THIS IS A STRANGE WORLD AND YOU CAN'T BLAME ME FOR PROTECTING MYSELF. PLEASE RESPECT THAT.

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I am too complex for simple descriptives. Few know me well. Even those who have known me for years get a curve ball thrown at them by my sudden shifts in attitude and interests. They have become used to it. You can meet me and think you have me figured out, but find out I am quite the opposite of your first impression. But then again...

Or as one friend put it: "Jeans and t-shirt girl who gets an occasional wild idea to throw on a skirt and heels."

"The only person I know with a wine glass in one hand and a wrench in the other."

The exboyfriend who inspired the "qwiksilver" name: "The only thing that rules you is change."

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"I find it amusing that men who have been involved with me are completely astonished when they find I have a talent for something. I explain to them that they would have noticed said talent had they not been so enamored of themselves."

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C. Hoffman, 2006..

"I used to think I left my husband because of his deceit and infidelity, but now I realize that it was entirely my distaste for being told what to do."

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C. Hoffman, 2006..

"Don't mistake abject terror for bitter cynicism."

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C. Hoffman, 2007..

"I've always been about the journey. When I get to where I'm going, I check on everyone's health and happiness. I find out who is dying, who has died and who should die. Then I'm ready to go home by a different route. I don't believe in hanging around. I treat just about every aspect of my life that way. It doesn't matter if it is traveling, education, or even love, I am just not interested in the destination."

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C. Hoffman, 2007..

"The problem with this country is that we haven't had a war on our soil since 1865. Unless you're Native American, and then you can move that forward a couple more decades. But the result is the same. We don't know what war is. We haven't had to suffer. Maybe it would be good for us if we did."

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C. Hoffman, 2007..

"Something I learned in the Army, and have had proven to me over and over since, is that a man can screw up and, after a little razzing from his friends, be forgiven just about anything. If a woman screws up, she's forgiven nothing. Ever."

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C. Hoffman, 2008..

"I will never be rich. I just don't have a good sense of greed."

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C. Hoffman, 2008..

"What man builds God destroys on a whim to remind man he is not God."

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C. Hoffman, 2008..

"I expect no more of others than I do of myself, and considering I am quite the little screw up, I am constantly surprised that so many fail to rise to so short a mark."

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C. Hoffman, 2008..

"What would I need on a deserted island to keep me happy? A crate full of books. Really good literature or I'll go mad."

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C. Hoffman, 2008..

"If you are going star in some sort of personal drama, please, don't ask me to join you on stage."

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C. Hoffman, 2008..

"Something I learned in my younger days is that courage is what you have at 1am after a few drinks, consent is what you give at 2am and commitment is what you run from at 6am."

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C. Hoffman, 2008..

"I could never date a man who is not my equal or better. If he doesn't know his way around an engine, come from a good family and have something that resembles an education, I can't look at him."

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C. Hoffman, 2008..

"The difference between cannon fodder and fighting for your country is the difference between going overseas and being told by the government what to do and taking to the streets at home and telling the government what to do."

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C. Hoffman, 2008..

"Listen, the whole "I will lower your taxes" thing is like putting a sexy woman next to a car to get you to buy it. You can buy the car but the girl isn't included."

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C. Hoffman, 2008..

"A successful third party is going to have to start small, think big and go long. And for godsakes don't get too radical. Save that for after you have the Whitehouse."

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C. Hoffman, 2008..

"You should treat a bear market like a bar fight. When stocks head south, don't sell. When a bar fight breaks out, don't run. Just grab your beer and duck under a table. If you run, you'll get punched."

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C. Hoffman, 2008..

"I'm a member of DemAnon. I've been attending meetings for children of Democrat parents. I'm still getting over FDR worship, but I've fully come to terms with the fact that the Democrats have screwed me over in favor of anyone who doesn't want to work or is here illegally. I am now an independent and no longer enabling. I will be getting a 25 year chip on my shoulder soon."

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C. Hoffman, 2009..

"Do you ever get this urge? You pull up next to a car with a person doing some personal grooming. I just get the urge to lean out of my Jeep and yell over 'It's not helping!'"

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C. Hoffman, 2009..

"I don't judge a wine, beer or spirit by whether it has smoky notes, great tannins or hints of currants. I judge my drink on one thing - Do I want another one?'"

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C. Hoffman, 2009..

"Would you like a bottle whine for your pity party?"

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C. Hoffman, 2009..

"If you want to know why I joined the Army it's simple. I was homeless. I had a choice of the sex trade (stripping, etc.) or the military. I'm not a lazy woman, I'm a proud one."

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C. Hoffman, 2009..

"Treat your music like your food: Ignore anything with a label. The best stuff is fresh and still has the dirt on it."

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C. Hoffman, 2009..

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"I'm not allowed to play softball sober anymore."

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E. Durfee, 2007..

"I'm autistic, not artistic."

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E. Durfee, 2008..

Male voice: "Hold my beer. Watch this!"
Followed by tired female voice: "Call 911."

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Traditional..

"If you had a brain, you'd take it out and play with it."

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Mom..

"Seria ludo!"

("Serious matters in a playful vein!")

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a principal toast of the Society of Dilettanti ..

"God's will cannot be undone by a couple smacks of a hammer!"

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Jeff (imgonnasnap)..

"There isn't anything down in Mexico I can't see here at the local Home-Depot. Why waste the gas to drive down there?"

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Don (ZestyCj7)..

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"We have a problem and we ain't doin' a damned thing about it."

"Our 12 step program consists of buying 12 more parts."

"When we feel we've hit rock bottom we rejoice, for we are at the bottom of a canyon full of rocks."

Jeepaholics Anonymous..

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"Be fearful when others are greedy, and be greedy when others are fearful."

Warren Buffet, October, 2008..

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Already long ago, from when we sold our vote to no man, the People have abdicated our duties; for the People who once upon a time handed out military command, high civil office, legions - everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just two things: bread and circuses

iam pridem, ex quo suffragia nulli uendimus, effudit curas; nam qui dabat olim imperium, fasces, legiones, omnia, nunc se continet atque duas tantum res anxius optat, panem et circenses.

(Juvenal, Satire 10.77-81)..

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You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.

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He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

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You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

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Winston Churchill..

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"Much suspected by me, Nothing proved can be."

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Reputedly carved onto a window
at Woodstock Manor, Oxfordshire..

"My Lords, do whatever you wish. As for me, I shall do no otherwise than pleases me."

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Elizabeth to Parliament on the succession issue..

"I will have here but one mistress and no master."

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Elizabeth to Robert Dudley..

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king."

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Tilbury speech, 1588 on The Spanish Armada..

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"You know, a few blocks away from this great chamber, when you walk in the snow, is the Vietnam Memorial, where half of the soldiers listed on that wall died after America's leaders knew our strategy would not work.

It was immoral then and it would be immoral now to engage in the same delusion."

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Congressman Patrick Murphy
Member of the U.S. House of Representatives (Democrat)
Pennsylvania's 8th district
U.S. 82nd Airborne Division, Iraq War (2003-2004)..

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"You must acquire the trick of ignoring those who do not like you. In my experience those who do not like you fall into two categories: the stupid and the envious. The stupid will like you in five years. The envious; never."

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John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester (The Libertine, 2005)..

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