Rachael Wolfe

"Oompa Loompas are a race of people from Loompa Land, which is a tiny country just south of Armenia, bordering the Caspian Sea. Loompa Land, unfortunately, is currently entailed in a horrific ethnic Civil War involving the Horn Swagglers, Rotten Vermicious Kinids, and the Swangdoodles. Of course, with Oompa Loompas generally being a peaceful race of people, they tend to get caught in the middle of the conflict and bear the brunt of the other three ethnicities' aggressions. The Oompa Loompas were beaten, tortured, and eaten by the other participants in the Great Loompa War until "salvation" came in the form of an English businessman named Willy Wonka."

I'm a mom first, and a wife second. I'm crazy and zany and sweet, but if you fuck with my kids I'll have you begging for death. I hate housework, but I'm not afraid to get dirty.

I'm quiet and shy and polite, but can be raunchy and passionate where it counts. ;) I love with my entire heart and soul, but can hate with the same fierceness. I'm told that my eyes can burn a hole in you. :)

I'm overweight but not obese, and I'm okay with my body for the most part. If you have a problem with it, you can kiss my fat ass, because I didn't have to buy my DD's!

I'm conflicted and naive and emotional, but strong as a rock. I can melt into a puddle of mush when his breath hits my ear, but am completely capable of knocking him the fuck out if he needs it. (so far so good) :)

I am me, and I won't change for anyone.


My art is here.

My blog is here.

My business is here. .. ....