by eileen from resist and exist:
maybe im wanting to go back to a simpler time in life, crawl back into the womb, maybe im envious of children, all i know is theres a point in every persons life, i htink it hit me at 13 maybe, when you really lose yr innocence. one day yr a child, yr living in this colorful world, where everythings a wonderful mystery and the whole world revolves around you. one day you try and go just a little further than usual. your testing yr limits, but you realize there is a leash on yr collar, and you keep pulling and pulling, but all you do is choke yrself, and then you take a look around you, you finally see the big picture, or atleast a part of it. you think about where you are in the scheme of things, you ahev this amazing revolation, btu you hate it because its not pretty and its not fun, you begin to ask questions that really cannot be answered, but this time these are questions that matter, yr every movement is fixed and monitered carefully, yr future is planned and any deviation is punishable, there is no time for fun and games because you are beginnign to join the rat race, wheres yr place, then theres a matter of this leash you are aware of, you see who is at the end of it, their yr parents and teachers, totalitarianism disguised as guidance, so you keep pulling trying to find a weak link, and you keep choking, well you either give up or break yr neck, and lucky if you get away, neither are you trapped or dehuminized, but it gives you lots of time to think, prehaps because you only have yr thoughts, so you think and you plan and you dream about what youll do when and if yr ever free,finally one day it is declared that you are free, however by the time their thru with you you are a helpless shivering mess, completely drained and yr spirit is broken, yr afraid cos you know nothing else, freedom has always been this distant dream, now you can go, but where? so there you remain, or maybe you carefully step away, slowly now, steady, like a baby fawn taking her first steps, and you look back to see that yr parents and teachers werent holding the leash after all, they were nearly on the end of it with their own collars, you feel sorry for them, but what a revolation, your free, wild as a deer, but wait, you can only go so far, theres a big fence blockign yr way, its 20 miles high and its gaurded by police, the government, yr boss, and the army, and yr still chained its just a little longer than before, you think yr free, HA!, you look around and see millions of others just like you, all connected with chains, and there so tangled and intertwined that no where can tell whos pulling the leash anymore, and the chains are too strong and the fence is too high for you alone, but the only way you can ever hope to break free, is for everyone to pull together at the same time and tear down the fence, but everyone is pulling in different directions, trying to acheive their own ends, and half of them dont even know even realize that their chained, because they never even tryed to leave, but maybe their the lucky ones, atleast they found bliss, but you know there are greener pastures elsewhere, a place where there are no chains and no collars and you roam freely , and its just on the otehr side of that fence
