ShoEboX
Tim Crist
|
|
 |
Dogs don't know I'm not bacon
Male
34 years old
NORTH CHILI, New York
United States
Last Login: 7/1/2009
|
|
|
|
View My:
Pics
| Videos
| Gifts
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
ShoEboX's Interests
|
| Music | MY BAND:
Worm Quartet - "Comedy synth-punk" is the best description I could come up with. If ya like punky synthy thingies with a weirdass sense of humor, or think that you might, then please check out wormquartet.com, or the Worm Quartet myspace page, dammit!! Lots of free mp3 downloads, including 2004's most requested song of the year on the Dr. Demento show ("Great Idea for a Song")
I like all kinds of crap. To pick a few names at random, how 'bout the Ramones, Helloween, NOFX, They Might Be Giants, Dayglo Abortions, Faith No More, Gamma Ray, KMFDM, Wilco, Meat Loaf, Skold, Alice Cooper, Dimmu Borgir, Goner, Majestic Twelve, Killswitch Engage, Screeching Weasel, Tom Lehrer, Death Cab For Cutie, Bad Religion, Rancid, Anthrax, The Meatmen, The Freeze, Savatage, Sudden Death, M.O.D., and anything written by Jim Steinman. | | Television | Spite her man, spite her man - Does wood half-harass, bite her can -
Spencer Webb, Annie's eyes - Ketchup thieves, chest-like flies -
Loo gout! Ear combs this pie term Ann. - Is east wrong? List and bud -
His cod radio hacked up blood -
Cannies wing, firm hath read -
Tickle hook, of her head -
Hate air! Ergo this pie, der man. -
In dutch hill, hub night -
Hat the zine, oven grime -
Lycos re-cough lite -
He-haw writhes, jesting thyme -
Spied urn man, spied urn man -
Friend Lee nay burrowed spy, der man -
Will con fest ease egg-Nord? -
Auction his Ezra ward -
Two hymn, lie fizzy grape pig gaying up -
Guinevere tears a haying up -
Yule fine, despite her man!
| | Books | Douglas Adams, Orson Scott Card, Brian Michael Bendis, Peter David, J.M. Demattias, and just to be different, Nick Hornby. | | Heroes | Pac-Man, Mr. Whipple, Tiny Tim, The Loch Ness Monster, and those robot thingies that used to come with Nintendo Entertainment Systems that could spin crap. |
| Groups:
|
The Last Exit For The Lost, Dementia Radio, Minnesota CONvergence, The group with the cool explosion picture
View All ShoEboX's Groups
|
|
|
ShoEboX's Details
|
| Status: | Married | | Here for: | Friends | | Body type: | 6' 4" | | Zodiac Sign: | Pisces | | Children: | Proud parent | | Education: | College graduate |
|
|
ShoEboX's Schools
|
Western New England College
Springfield,Massachusetts
Graduated: 1997
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Electrical Engineering w/ Computer Option
|
1993 to 1997 |
Tantasqua Reg Sr High
Fiskdale,Massachusetts
Graduated: 1993
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
|
1991 to 1993 |
Gauley Bridge High School
Gauley Bridge,West Virginia
Graduated: 1993
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
|
1989 to 1991 |
|
|
![]() |
ShoEboX is in your extended network
view more
|
|
|
ShoEboX's Blurbs |
About me:
My name is Shoebox. I am a giant walking spatula masquerading as a software engineer masquerading as a comedy synth-punk god masquerading as a 6'4" 300-lb. bemulleted crime-fighting carrot. I'm married to a wonderful woman named Kim who takes my rectal temperature every Wednesday morning at 3:17 am and refuses to explain why. I have a son named Steve, who I made with sperm. Everybody who reads this is required to send me cheese on a weekly basis, which is stupid because I'm lactose intolerant, but what're ya gonna do. I have more nipples than you do, I am capable of making poodles explode with my mind, and everyone I've ever met is named "Chester Walton Gutwiggler III." For years I thought I was being stalked by Gary Shandling until just a few days ago when somebody pointed out that I just had a life-size cardboard cutout of him mounted on my back. I can swallow bicycles, but choose not to for environmental reasons. Every time someone says the word "mustard" I become instantly aroused. I can communciate with duct tape and let me tell you,it absolutely DESPISES the decor in your kitchen. Goat saliva is, thankfully, not something that I have to worry about all that often. I look forward to not being shot repeatedly point-blank in the groin today. Every morning I sacrifice nine hamsters to Micheal McKean, and he's never even thanked me. I am currently working on a top-secret government project to convert the elderly into bulletproof armor. I am capable of chewing bubble gum in every orifice of my body, but I can only blow bubbles with three of them. One time I used the Lord's name in vain and He got so pissed that He BIT me. I hate everything that isn't a crowbar.
|
Who I'd like to meet:
The girl who eats nothing but circus peanuts and radishes, worships linoleum, lives in a large replica of Officer Big Mac stolen from a McDonald's playland, and wears a badger costume 24 hours a day.
This girl is the kind of girl you want to bring home to Mom only if your Mom is well-armed. She has plenty of cheese stored up, sure, but damned if you want it, since you're lactose intolerant anyway. Every time she uses a verb she insists that you applaud her for 19 seconds and do a little twirl in the air. Her perfume is actually mustard, and she's just waiting for someone to point that out so she has an excuse to show them her extensive collection of cat litter from around the world. She only shaves one of her legs, and always collects all the hair and glues it to her other leg. She'll follow you to the end of the earth, but will insist that you stop at EVERY stinkin' Wendy's you pass along the way so she can go inside and ask to speak to the manager and claim that back when they had the Superbar, she saw George Wendt urinating in the thousand island dressing. She stuffs her bra with yogurt, has a tattoo of the yellow pages symbol on her left butt cheek, and every time she buys a new roll of toilet paper she insists on unrolling the entire thing and re-rolling it backwards because she claims the paper manufacturers always put the soft side on the wrong side.
The sex, of course, is fantastic.
If you meet these credentials, then TOUGH CRAP! I'm married, you would-be homewrecker!!
|
|
| ShoEboX's Friend Space (Top 8) |
|
![]()
|
![Bloody Tom Roberts [Yes we can]](http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/27/s_39cb8433bd50973d85da76be3c783966.png)