Richard Ryder
Stand-Up / Comic Hypnotist / Musical Comedy
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Hold onto stuff!
Male
43 years old
Toronto
Canada
Last Login: 8/14/2009
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Mood:
excited
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Richard Ryder's Comedian Bio
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| Bio | Toronto native Richard Ryder began his career by studying acting at The Toronto High School for the Performing Arts. This quick witted performer quickly became one of the youngest cast members of Theatresports, Toronto's improvisational theatre company, performing alongside such comedy greats as The Kids In The Hall and Waiting For Guffman star Linda Kash.
Fast thinking and quick witted, Richard Ryder takes the stage with a refreshing energy and no holds barred attitude that audiences welcome again and again. And why shouldnt they? Richards ease and ability to include the audience in his act makes every show uniquely hilarious. No topic is too taboo for this Out and Proud performer whose comedy is fresh, fast, funny and a constant source of embarrassment to his family.
Which is exactly how it should be. | | Influences | Debra DiGiovanni, she's my best girlfriend!
Nikki Payne
Fraser Young
Bernie Mac
Mo'Nique, the bitch is crazy!
Dave Chappell
Kathy Griffin, making the D list A-okay!
Margaret Cho
Ellen Degeneres
Mario Cantone, he's so funny that I hate him!
Jonathon Winters
Lucille Ball, she proved funny can be pretty!
Dane Cook, proving pretty can be funny!
Bruce Vilance, proving pretty has nothing to do with it!
Cher, just because. | | Films | I'm not a great actor, but I'm unemployed and a good sport so if you're looking for someone to add a little zing to your shitty, shitty script, give me a call!
These people did:
It Takes Two (shouldn't there be some kind of medal for surviving the Olsen twins?
Under Cover Brother. I was edited out. Probably because I was too funny. Hey. it helps me sleep at night!
Disney's The Scream Team (I know I screamed!) |
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Richard Ryder's Interests
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| Music | Okay.
Here's where I loose most of you. That's okay, my taste is all in my mouth anyway. So, at the risk of loosing friends and starting the Judgement Trian, here's what's on my iPod these days:
All Cyndi Lauper
-all the time! Her latest album, The Body Accoustic is brilliant!
Madonna
-mostly old school, natch.
Gwen Stafani
Jann Arden
David Gray
The Foo Fighters
-their lastest album, In Your Honor, disk 2 is fabulous!
The Gorillaz
Christina Aguilera
Angie Stone
Beyonce
Alison Moyet
B.B. King
Etta James
Lyle Lovett
Annie Lennox
Lifehouse
Macy Gray
Garbage
The B Good Tanyas
Cree Summer
Collin James
The Black Eyed Peas
Erykah Badu
Janet Jackson
Hawksley Workman
The Killers
Scissor Sisters
Mariah Carey
Pat Benitar
Peter Gabriel
Sloan
Pussy Cat Dolls
-just the single Don'tcha. I do have some scruples!
Van Morrison
Stevie Nicks
TLC
and Tracy Chapman.
There. That should separate the trendy fags from the dyed in the wool fans! | | Movies | Okay, let it be known that I am a movie whore. And I'm not talking porn here. Well, not a lot anyway. I love movies and again, like my iPod playlists, I'm going to loose some of you here.
That's okay. I don't see movies to be popular. I see movies so I don't have to deal with reality which is no where near as great as it's cracked up to be.
I'm just saying
Okay, here's what's in my DVD library:
Love Actually
-actually, I loved it.
The Matrix Trilogy
-So pretty
Chicago
Minority Report
Tootsie
Postcards From the Edge
Miss Congeniality
Sister Act
Orgazmo
Dodgeball
Anchorman
The Colour Purple
Batman Begins
Sleepy Hollow
A Mid Winter's Tale
-a british movie written and directed by Kenneth Branagh
Shrek 1 & 2
Monsters Inc.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Jack Ass The Movie
Overboard
The First Wives Club
Harry Potter 1, 2 & 3
Cosi
-an Austrailian film starring Toni Collette
Bend It Like Beckham
The Associate
Elf
Seven
American Beauty
84 Charring Cross Road
Fight Club
I know there's more and I may add them later but I think you get the idea so far. | | Television | Being an up and coming comedy monopoly means I don't get to watch a lot of TV so I've listed the shows I try to catch on a regular basis:
Hatching, Matching and Dispatching
-a new Canadian Series written and starring Canada's Queen of Comedy, Mary Walsh. It's the funniest thing on TV. Certainly on a Friday night at any rate!
Project Runway
Beauty And The Geek
The Golden Girls
Friends
Will & Grace
Seinfeld
Fear Factor
The Biggest Loser
Last Comic Standing
Lost
6 Feet Under
Arrested Development
Video On Trial
-on Canada's Much Music, starring among others, my good friend Debra DiGiovanni
What Not To Wear
Miami Ink
Samuri Jack
French and Saunders
-complete series now available on DVD. Alright?
The Office and Extras
-with Ricky Gervais
And the rest is crap I watch to keep myself from doing dishes.
See, this is why Meryl Streep would talk about me after I left the room.
"Did you see the dirty dishes?" | | Books | Are there pictures? Because I'm very busy.
See?
Another reason for Meryl to hate me. | | Heroes | My heros have always been Cowboys!
At least they have been since I saw Broke Back Mountain. Saddle Up you Bitches!
Who cares if you can't understand a thing that Heath Ledger says in that movie? I'm not looking for conversation is all I'm saying.
He's another one I don't think would like me. Mostly because I'd always be trying to kiss him and then there's the endless stream of questions like: "Is Jake Gyllenhaal a good kisser?" and "Show me again how Jake Gyllenhaal kisses?"
You can certainly see how tiring all those questions would get. Well, that and the chasing.
I'm way faster than I look Heath!
It's all I'm saying. |
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Richard Ryder's Details
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| Status: | Single | | Here for: | Networking | | Orientation: | Gay | | Hometown: | Toronto, Ontario, Canada | | Body type: | 6' 4" / Some extra baggage | | Ethnicity: | White / Caucasian | | Zodiac Sign: | Aries | | Education: | High school | | Occupation: | Stand-up Comic |
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Richard Ryder's Networking
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Television - Talent - Comedian
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Gay comic/writer/actor/supermodel. (you have to actually say the slashes or it's just not the same!)
Working out of Toronto, Canada. Available to host, feature or headline.
Will travel.
Usually has treats.
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Richard Ryder's Blurbs |
About me:
Hey Poodles!
Well I'm a stand up comic who didn't change his name for the joke. And I'm also gay, which is probably God's joke on my mother. Who knows, the point is if you haven't seen me perform, then you are missing out! I'm hilarious! Seriously
In the meantime:
I'm an Aries and an Autumn. They're not related in any way, they just both begin with an A so they go first. My hobbies include judging and ...well, that's about it. I go to the movies. I judge. I go out to the clubs. I judge. Coffee? Lunch? Long walks? Judge, judge, judge. Hey, some people knit...
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Who I'd like to meet:
Who wouldn't I like to meet?
I used to want to meet Madonna but something tells me she wouldn't have yummy snacks at her house what with all this Kabbalah bullshit (no offense. I'm just judging).
I'm totally in love with Cyndi Lauper. Always have been, always will be but it's probably for the best if she and I don't meet. I'm sure I'd scare her with my screams of joy and crush her to death in my Head Lock Of Love. I wouldn't mean to, you understand. Things just kinda happen. No biggie.
I would also like to meet Cher (gay enough for you?) but I'm not sure I'd recognize her. Anymore.
That dirty little bitch who likes to suck it, Matthew Fox can get lost on my island anytime. And by Island, I mean ass. Or he and that sexy little bitch who plays Sawyer, can get lost together. Just as long as I can take pictures. Hey, it's not my fault I'm a shutterbug! You should see the size of my lense. It's perfect for those tight shots. What were talking about?
Annie Lennox would totally hate me. I'm sure I'm way too much of a nerd for her fabulousness.
Meryl Streep would talk about me after and not in a good way. Plus she'd probably win an award for it.
Canada's Mary Walsh is so funny, you'll laugh your hole off, but something tells me she would hate me too. That's okay though. She could slap my face and call me Nancy and I'd still love her hilarious brilliance!
I met Jann Arden once but I think I scared her. At least I hope I did or my jumping out at her from behind that car was a total waste on my part.
I bet I'd get along with that Sandra Bullock but I'd be staring at her dirty little sexy bitch of a husband so much we'd never be able to catch up on all the gossip! "Yeah, yeah Sandy, It's all a rich tapestry. Now hold on, that hot guy you married is picking up heavy stuff again. I'm heavy. Why doesn't he ever pick me up? What?"
I wouldn't want to meet aliens or Big Foot per se. I mean I wouldn't want them in my house. What would I serve them? I'd be better off sending them to Madonna's for some ancient twigs and berries. No, I'd like to know once and for all if they really do exist. You know, like Anna-Nicole Smith who, oddly enough, liked ancient twigs and berries.
Who knew?
Who else would I like to meet? Why you of course! Especially if you actually read any of this. How do we make that happen? You can visit my website at: www.richardryder.ca and check out my upcoming show schedule. Go on. Don't be shy. I promise not to jump out from behind any cars. Now dumpsters are a whole other kettle of fish...
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Richard Ryder has 920 friends.
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