Stax/Volt, Steely Dan, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Stooges, Kraftwerk, Suicide, Bowie, Black Flag, Screamers, Germs, DEVO, Big Black, Jam/Lewis, Minor Threat, Junkyard Band, Slick Rick, Black Sheep, KMD, Stinky Dink, Doug Lazy, Teddy Riley, Fugazi, Ol' Dirty Bastard, Ghostface, Jay-Z, Neptunes, Timbaland, MOP, Lil Wayne, and of course Young L /// Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Larry David, Barry Summerlin, Cy Rawls. /// Rickets, gout, Medellin fever, the dropsy.
in 1983 my father, a wealthy financier, bought me a Fairlight CMI in an attempt to assuage the pain from my mother's death. I immediately began making "Funky Beats" as we called them back then and scored a local hit entitled "Long Distance Telephone Monopoly Breakup Rap." Tragically, the Fairlight was stolen, although it was later spotted in the backline of Jean Michel Jarre, a close associate of mine at the time. My father and I lost everything in the savings and loan scandal and I was reduced to making music with an old harmonium and my grandfather's hair, which I stretched across a cigar box and strummed like a lute. These days I use a copy of Ableton Lite my whippet found in a rat's nest.
I "rapped" for some years until a jealous squash partner bruised my larynx in an illegal Australian rules match, leaving my sweet voice unacceptably gruff.
I am a frequently honored guest at pancake suppers, fish fries, and spelling bees, where I gladly play recordings of my own compositions and grudgingly play those of others.
"These people's beliefs are a menace to civilized society. They believe in miracles, evil spirits, witchcraft, you name it. It's literally a mindset out of 16th-century Europe. Fuck them and their idiocy. "
