You Know You're From Rhode Island When...
You celebrate "birt-days". You had a "wickit" good time at the beach. You hear an amazing fact and your immidiate reply is "no suh!" You know the difference between red, white and clear chowdah. You consider a car journey of longer than one hour a day trip. You can you curse in Italian. You know the basic rules of Duckpin bowling. You own garden tools you purchased at Job Lot. You have tried to drive the measured mile in less then 45 seconds. You know what the expression "side by each" means. You have used the expression "Not For Nuthin" or "Bubblah". You serve bread with every meal. You know what "3 all the way" means. You load up on milk and bread before a snowstorm. You feel compelled to hear at least one weather report a day. You understand the humor of the Ocean State Follies. You have pulled out of a sidestreet and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you could make a left-hand turn. You have a bottle of coffee syrup in the fridge right now. You've phoned into a talk show on WPRO or WHJJ. You've gotten sick from eating too many clam cakes. You own at least one coffee table book with a picture of a lighthouse on it. You've boasted about the money you saved at the Christmas Tree Shop. Your first live concert was at The Civic Center or Rocky Point. You own a hat with a red "P" on it. You were born at Lying-In Hospital. You still call the Rhode Island Mall the Midland Mall. You have close relatives who work for the state. You have used a demolished landmark when giving directions. You secretly watched "Providence" even though you told your friends you didn't. (Now you watch Brotherhood.) You have slammed on your breaks to discourage a tailgater. You have dated a girl named Brenda or a guy named Vinnie. You have used the breakdown lane on 95 to pass someone. You've personally met Vinnie Paz. Your idea of a dream house is a raised ranch. You have driven more than 5 miles out of your way to save less than two bucks. You been on a RIPTA bus less than 10 times in the past 6 years. You can sing the Rocky Point theme song. You know what a "governor-preferred" plate is. You know someone who works for the Registry. You've asked your mechanic for an inspection sticker even though your car failed to pass. You have a degree from RIC, CCRI or URI. You've been to Twin Oaks for your birthday. You've borrowed dealer plates from a friend. You know how to pronounce Pawtucket, Cowesett, Usqepaug, and Narragansett. You've been to Scarborough Beach but not Block Island. You've been on a Bay Queen cruise. You can recognize a Cranston accent. You think high hair, gold chains, and gum go together. You think there's a "v" in the name Cheryl. You drop the "w" in Greenwich, Kingstown, and Warwick. You use the expression "down-city" for downtown. You've eaten at Haven Brothers. You celebrate St. Joseph's Day and know what a "zeppolla" is. You have at least one gallon of Newport Creamery coffee ice cream in your freezer. Your city house and your beach house are less than an hour away from each other. You always start giving directions by saying, "Well, you get on 95". You know where "NiRoPe" comes from. You know what "John from Alpert's" sounds like. You can recite the license plates of all your family members and friends. You think lots of gold jewelery looks great on the beach. Your favorite expressions are, "Are you serious?", "Wicked", and "You know what I'm saying?" You know you need "quahogs" to make "stuffies". You know there's a West End but not a West Providence. You think banana, vanilla, and idea all end in "r". You put vinegar on your french fries. You've eaten at Haven Brothers, drunk. You know what Allie's makes. You've gone to Cumbie's for milk or gas. You know that there is never any school in Fosta-Glosta when it snows. The girl you ended up marrying lived no more than 6 blocks from where you grew up. You've converted the basement of your house into an apartment. You call spaghetti sauce, "gravy." You tell friends that something is "on special", instead of on sale. The meal at every wedding you've ever attended was chicken, shells and french fries. You put celery salt on your hot dogs. You are never from Providence, or East Providence, but from the East Side, Rumford or Riverside You order an iced coffee in December. You read the wedding announcements in the Sunday Pro-Jo and recognize at least 3 couples. You know someone who knew the Farrelly brothers when they lived around here. You know exactly which parts of Dumb and Dumber, There's Something About Mary, Meet Joe Black and Amistad were filmed in RI, and you can tell someone exactly where that is. You know what the Coffee Cup Salute is, and who does it every morning. You grew up with everyone you see at Stop and Shop. You and everyone you know are either Italian or Irish, or both. You've never been farther south than Jersey, and not farther West than there, either, but are planning to move to Florida as soon as you turn 60.
