In 1947, Rocrament came into being through the signing of the International Metal Anti-Proliferation Treaty of 1800. Signatories included the Republic of Botswana and the Potentate of Siam, two countries whose people and treasure had been annihilated by the protracted 'Rock Race' of the latter half of the 19th century. At the time, noted Rock authority Jackie Fischer, also known as the brainfather of the HMS Dreadnought, concluded, "This document ensures that there will be Rock in our time, do you hear me? ROCK IN OUR TIME!" (emph.) Others were not so sure.
The key to success of the treaty was the formation of a hitherto unimagined 'State of Rock' formed from the rump principalities of Sub-Saharan Congo and the island protectorates of the Dutch East Indies now re-named 'Rockia'. Rock scholar and former front man of the proto-Punk duet 'Marvelous', Henry Higgins noted at the time, "Rockia provides a fertile breeding pot for all manner of subtleties of perception and minor attainments of the 'fallacious me' viewed in the context of what could truly be." He could not have been more right.
The stage was now set for the phenomenon of Rocrament.
A boiling pot of opportunity turned up for the nascent metal Gods in a surprising spot- Bucharest, Sweden in 1947. Noted Cold War theorist and award-winning goat farmer Inge 'Heidi' Snijbjorg sums up the mood of the times: "Willy Nilly fraying for the summer sheep harvest and long, long nights pray in a wide clump over cutest baby seals eating on daffodils."
Clealy, Bucharest was ripe for Rock revolution. Seizing the goat by the horns, producer-promoter Edvard Frapp of the so-called 'Young Frapps of 1916' was there to both pick up the pieces and build a new legacy. Rounding up the personnel was the easy part. Readying the rest of the world for a Rock that would re-write history was not so easy. Contemporary scenester Mgimbe Twanda observed, "Every night was a party! The partying started in the streets and spilled over into the alleyways. From there, it was just a hop, skip and jump to the Sumatran Houses of Parliament."
It was here, in the hotbed of 17th century feudal reform that Rocrament got their first big break.
Surprisingly, the biggest supporter of Rocrament's unique vision came from their harshest critic, Archbishop Reginald Kempf of the 4th Ukranian Diocese of the Reformation. Since stepping up attacks on illiteracy and global rights abuses dating from the time of the Mau-Mau uprising of 1851, Archbishop Kempf had gone on to tackle foes as diverse as Quantum Warming theory and the Human Genome Mapping Projects of 1615 and 1945. Reported the Bishop in 1772, "No greater man than that which exists to serve his fellow man can be found among the stretch-marks upon the cranial sac of the one true Godgyny. Least among you stands this single righteous individual, unspeaking and unheard. Let all who would profit listen and heed the clarion cry of Metal." Strong words indeed, and the world itself sat up and took notice.
Famous statesperson Frida Kalo of the 5th Investiture of Nairobi and French ambassador to Angorra stated unequivocally, "Archbishop Kempf has proven himself the champion of Rockia and has single-handedly redeemed our rights as human beings. Give him a bagel and make him strong."
Rocrament was now poised to spread the seed of Metal throughout the thinking globe and on into space, even as far as the Moon.
However, with the rock Gods poised on the brink of success, disaster struck in the the form of the Oaxacan Potato Typhus Famine of 1972. Scenes of utter despair were common as noted by physician-rocker Bertholt Brecht at the time:
"Hardly was a potato to be seen that did not bear the mark of some form of deadly disease. Since the rockers only had potatoes to eat, it clearly was a disaster of starvation, and many were killed. I myself have seen Rocrament unhesitatingly feed their last few potatoes to starving orphans time and time again, and always with their very last few potatoes. Amazingly, no matter how many orphans they would feed, they saved them all, and they never ate anything for themselves. It was like a metal miracle!"
In a powerful portent of things to come, the stage had been set for the oft-repeated Rocrament pattern:
1. Face impossible odds.
2. Call on the forces of Metal Rock to overcome adversity.
3. Crush all opposition.
4. Selflessly give.
5. Disappear in a fiery immolation of Rock and rise triumphantly phoenix-like from the ashes.
In the words of noted Shaman Catherine the Great of New Bedfordshire, Wisconsin,"I find the Phoenix to be very attractive for its giving heart and robust constitution. I will always cherish the Phoenix."
Rocrament had weathered the first of many storms.
The second was not long in coming. In light of the eerie success of the orphan feeding campaign, Rocrament was called upon by the Chancellors of several European city-states to eliminate the problems of over-crowding and poor judgement of their own citizenry. Particularly vocal was Grand Caliph Ute Bingmann of the Duchy of Rotterdam, whose legions of tulip-smoking tinsmiths, essential to the Persian shipping industry, were notoriously unhealthy and short-lived. Rocrament made no offer to help the plight of these individuals on the grounds that they were neither orphans nor plagued by disease or famine, and besides all of their needs were seen to by numerous other organizations. These included the Tinsmith's Sump Fund, the Rotterdam Tin Annuity Caucus and the "Tinsmith's Gimme Grab Bag" among a host of others.
The press, however, had a field day at the expense of Rocrament.
"I can't say enough bad things about them", wrote Bill 'Odem' Winkytink of the Rotterdam Free Press, "You don't even let them in here and they don't even help at all. Now, is that right?"
The citizens of Rotterdam agreed, to the extent of issuing a proclamation that Rocrament not only did not exist, but owed them a 'fine living in grand style unto perpetuity.' Barristers gathered like storm clouds over a dreadnought to pick clean the remains.
All appeared lost.
It was at this time that Rocrament's great anthem "Destiny" was first performed live on a trans-Atlantic Zeppelin flight to a throng of millions. As quickly as it had surfaced, the "Tinsmith's Ballyhoo", as it had been termed, disappeared before the power of this Rockin' ballad. Rocrament was again on the move.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT, ITS MUCH APPRECIATED. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, NICE SONGS :)
FROM THE PEOPLE THAT BROUGHT YOU SEROTONIN COMES MASONIC ABYSS!!!
IF YOU ARE A FAN OF DEATHSTARS, MARILYN MANSON, DEADSTAR ASSEMBLY, NINE INCH NAILS, RAMMSTEIN, ROB ZOMBIE, WEDNESDAY 13, HANZEL UND GRETYL, UNDERCOVER SLUT, KORN, DOPE STARS INC, KMFDM, SYSTEM OF A DOWN, COAL CHAMBER, AMEN, SEROTONIN, DIRTY WEE MIDDENS OR ANY OTHER SIMILAR BANDS YOU WILL LOVE
Bestemmia Aeternalis, will be performing this Saturday in Houston Texas at the Summoning The Infernal Hordes Show I @ Walters....
Bestemmia Aeternalis, will be giving away 30 copies of the re-release by D.C.E. RECORDS of the "Veil of Sins Album to the first 30 people to attend this event......
Also, we advise all to keep a look out for their interview in Extermino Zine form Mexico........dark hails and support the madness......
rocrament are deeply honored to present our farewell performance- THE LAST FINALE'. continental club houston, january 17@11PM, $10.00. please continue to rock.
