Ron is a pontificating, postmodern, postcolonial, poststructural, pedagogue of pelvic passion.
Music
The Greats: Prince, Tom Jones, 2 Live Crew, and of course sultry slow jams. A few things that Ron never listens to is smoothe jazz and gospel music. Smoothe jazz is made by those musicians that never got ass for being in a band, so they decided to cut off their balls and make elevator music. As for gospel, Ron doesn't care if the almighty saved you, lifted you up, helped you see the light, blessed you, called you to worship, washed you clean, gave you hope, or cleansed you heart of evil and wrong doing. Ron gets it. It's all the same fucking boring song that sucks all of the fun out of life namely heavy, unadulterated debauchery, and you just can't be taking away Ron's unadulterated debauchery.
Movies
Anything rated XXX, but Ron draws the line at bestiality and child porn. There is plenty of sick shit that you can do with another person, so leave the animals alone. As for the kids, it's like eating fruit before it's ripe. If you just wait a little longer, the juice will be so much sweeter. Or you can just move to Texas where the legal age is 15. One or the other.
Television
Call Ron old fashioned, but Ron is still in love with late night Cinemax.
Books
Henry Miller, Petronius Arbiter, D. H. Lawrence, James Joyce, Anaïs Nin, Pauline Réage, and of course Marquis de Sade. Ron also loves those smutty paperback romance novels. There's no better way to become a woman's fantasy than to read about what women fantasize about.
About me: Who is Ron Reno you ask? Ron Reno is not JUST sexy, Ron Reno IS sexy. Ron is the physical embodiment of sexy. The Prince of the Pelvic Thrust. The Sultan of Swingers. Born in the Devil’s fire, sent to quench the ladies desire, Ron Reno will take you higher. In the beginning there was no chicken, there was no egg, there was only Ron Reno. Then Ron Reno said, ”Let there be sexy” and there was. There is duality in the world for there is Ron Reno, and then there is everything else. Ron Reno is such a stud that Ron lost his virginity before his dad did. When Ron Reno was born, the nurse said, "Holy shit! That's Ron Reno!" Then she had sex with Ron. At that point in time she was the third woman that Ron had slept with. Shortly thereafter Ron grew his patented mustache, for only real men have a mustache. Ron Reno has recently changed his middle name to “Fucking”, hence transcending even written language by being a noun and a verb at the same time. One time Ron Reno thrusted so hard that his pelvis broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Ron Reno is not hung like a horse...horses are hung like Ron Reno. Ron Reno can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya". Ron Reno doesn't read books. Ron just stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Ron Reno has two speeds: Ultrasexy and Stop. Ron Reno sold his soul to the Devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled performance ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Ron Reno showed the Devil his pelvic thrust. The Devil was so stunned by how sexy Ron was, that Ron simply slapped the Devil in the face and took his soul back. The Devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. Ron Reno is so hot that Ron can set ants on fire without a magnifying glass. Ron Reno is hotter than sunburn. There is no such thing as global warming. Ron Reno is so hot that Ron has increased the average global temperature by 2 degrees. Ron Reno is not lactose intolerant. Ron just refuses to put up with lactose's shit. Ron Reno has figured out Pi and it equals sexy. Ron Reno can mathematically make two wrongs equal a right. Ron Reno does not sleep. Ron waits. Ron Reno is all that and a bag of chips. People magazine was going to rename the Sexiest Man Alive Award to the Ron Reno Award. However Ron did not want his name besmirched with inferior levels of sexiness so Ron said no. Nobody says No to Ron Reno. Ron Reno says No to Nobodies. There wouldn’t be a billion people in China if it weren’t for Ron Reno (Ron loves the asian women). James Brown originally wrote the song “Sex Machine” about Ron Reno. Even Ron Reno’s piss is made of gold. Ron Reno recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. You know this beverage as Red Bull. To put it simply: Ron Reno IS sexy. Do you dare deny Ron Reno?
Who I'd like to meet: Ron loves anyone in the burlesque industry. Burlesque is where the talent is. Any half drunk co-ed can show some titty, but those burlesque ladies make you work for it. Not to mention the fact that Ron Reno is one of the greatest MCs in the world. Ron is also interested in meeting any lady in the "adult" industry, any sexy ladies in uniform, showgirls, or swimsuit models. One type of woman that Ron is not into has to be runway models (those skinny bitches taste like vomit). When Ron can see your tailbone because you have such a bad case of no ass from starving yourself or puking up your lunch, it just takes all of the wind out of Ron's normally very erect sails. Ron also loves women who are shallow and just want a little taste of Ron. Ron loves the ladies!!! Ron loves pretty, skinny, itty bitty, voluptuous, round, low to the ground, white, black, brown, yellow, movers, shakers, sweet love makers, tight or loose with a big caboose, friendly, hateful, optimistic, pessimistic, sometimes sadistic, those whole like a spankin', those who are there for the takin', those who are open to suggestion and never bother to question, young, old, but never cold, and of course all those with loose morals and an appetite for late nights. Ron loves loose morals!
Antonio Hoyos will be joining us on the 16th of June, appearing as "The Great Antoine!"
We are delighted that this great comedic performer can join our line-up.
The Pop Haydn Post-Modern Medicine Show will be appearing at The Laugh Factory, 8001 Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood! One show at 8:00 PM.
Pop will be joined by Professor Dave Bourne and the Medicine Show Band, Rob Zabrecky, Sophie Evans, Antonio Hoyos, Phil Van Tee and Pop's Candy Girls for a wonderful show of Old Time Music, magic, comedy and variety.
It'll make you feel better!
Tickets are $20 in advance, $25 at the door.
19th Century Attire Welcome!
You can buy tickets at LaughFactory.com or call: 323-6561336 ext 1.
For more information and video go to my Myspace Profile or:
SPAMED! Can you ever forgive me? If so, please vote for me!
I am in Round Two of The TRCoA Unsigned Artist Competition. Help me get to Round Three by clicking my face and voting for me!
If I’m in the top 4 I get to play a showcase for record executives and could win 100 free hours in the studio.
If I were selected, it would really help me rock some faces off, please take a second and vote.
Thanks!
-Ted Hadji
Thanks for the add and the support. If you have a massage therapist or are looking for one, stop by my page anytime to ask any questions that you may have. Stop by and check out the shop sometime and visit our blog @ http://pbtreno. blogspot. com/
Dear Mr. Reno, The oversight of schedule listing pertained to on our page has been attended to and the offending employee responsible for the oversight has been properly caned, his material poccessions confiscated and his family taunted and insulted to their very faces. We regret sincerely that the situation came to this and will strive to regain our once shining reputation in your eyes. Faultfully Yours, ~ Fun Grip Improv
Thanks for the add and the support. If you have a massage therapist or are looking for one, stop by my page anytime to ask any questions that you may have. Stop by and check out the shop sometime. Thanks again.
COME SEE THIS COME SEE THIS COME SEE THIS COME SEE THIS COME SEE THIS!!!!!!
In May ATL presents the regional premiere of Philadelphia playwright Greg Romero’s THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LULLABY EVER HEARD. The piece is an engaging nontraditional theatrical romance that begins with a Man and a Woman. They each breathe in the possibility of a blank sheet of paper. The paper becomes a sailboat and their breath becomes a journey over impossible distances. LULLABY is a hilarious, touching, meta-theatrical exploration of what is inside the human heart when a person falls in love with another equally and beautifully broken individual. LULLABY will be directed by ATL Artistic Director Brad McEntire and will feature actors Jeff Swearingen (recent winner: Best Actor DFW Critics Forum Award for last season’s THE GNADIGES FRAULEIN and THE BOXER as well as a "Best Actor (Non-Equity)" Column Award) Tyson Rinehart and Paula Wood.
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LULLABY YOU’VE EVER HEARD plays Wednesdays thru Saturdays, May 7th to 17th at the Risk Theatre Initiative Space , 3605 Ross Avenue, Dallas, TX 75204. Tickets are $10 - $15. Student and Senior discounts available. Call (214) 621-9683 for more information or to make ticket reservations.
Additional information about ATL can be found at www. myspace.
