ron
"the last viking ron dawson"

Male
100 years old

United Kingdom



Last Login:7/20/2008
Mood: jubilant Mood Image
View My: Pics | Videos

   Contacting ron

 MySpace URL: 
  http://www.myspace.com/ronthelastviking  

    ron's Interests
GeneralMotor Bikes (I have two old classic Bonnevilles)Writing, anything Birmingham including both the Blues AND the Villa, old films, comedy, fish slapping, shove half-penny, gringlewangling, tossing the drunk and dunking the vicar, holding your pee competitions(chuck the towel in early and watch the other silly bastards writhing in agony while you drink their beer), playing the piano Chas and Dave style (I need an old fart Banjo player quick, 3 chords prefered, 5 chords possible contract, anything above you need to play with somebody else)NB The Cunning Plan is to form a Chas and Dave Tribute Band (keep it quiet, we will be unique, there's no other C&D tribute band around) and anything else that tickles my fancy, if you know where that is!
MusicEarly Rock 'n Roll, Blues, Big Band and Boogie AND Alan Smethurst, and Big Joe Turner. Ozzy Osbourne (he lived just around the corner from where the Villains met in the Bartons Arms). Now a Question, How could Simon and Garfunckel cock up recording The Sound of Silence?, So, listen up now to my Version which I have specially recorded as background music to this profile.... First click Here, then off we go, Ah one, ah two, ah one two three four..........

Perfect!

MoviesThe League of Gentlemen, The Italian Job, Buster, Ocean's 11, Reservoir Dogs, London to Brighton, Hot Fuzz
TelevisionThe Test Card, why did they do away with it?
BooksOxford Dictionary, Roget's Thesaurus, Haynes Manuals, the Telephone Directory and occasionally Dalton's Weekly.
HeroesBob MacIntyre (who?)Oliver Cromwell, Richard III,Rab C Nesbitt, Sir Les Patterson, Bill Haley, Atilla the Hun, Screaming Lord Sutch, Bugs Bunny, HP Sauce and people who can hold their breath for more than 2 hours 6 minutes in a vat of boiling sulphuric acid just for the hell of it (that's what I call Viking)or can smuggle a double decker through the security checks at Heathrow without a valid bus pass.

     ron's Details
Status:Married
Here for:Networking
Orientation:Straight
Body type:3' 0"
Zodiac Sign:Pisces
Occupation:Author



ron is taking a break.

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The Last Vikings were the Aston Villains  (view more)

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   ron's Blurbs
About me:
Tis nearly done, Kiddoes of the world. Friday 18 July 2008, I finished writing my next best-underselling blockbuster, 'I,OEDIPUS : SERIAL KILLER , another tasteful little number lacking the strong lanuage of the Viking but upping all the other stakes. I say finished but now the 'orrible bit starts, rewriting/editing and getting it published. I was hoping that you would be able to get your dirty but appreciative hands on it for Christmas but I think you're going to have to wait until the new year (tranquilisers will help to get you through the wait!).

JULY 2008, Now now and salutations Space-outs, the pic you see is the 'Teaser' the Film Comp is using to bring my tale of death and money to a blood-drenched screen near you. See and read it in all its glory in its biggest lay-out, and decide, is it great or is it great?

Then return to Ron (that's me), Author, Psychologist, general dogsbody and shit-upon.

First Novel - THE LAST VIKING : The untold story of the World's Greatest Heist. (Sometimes called The Great Brummie and Guernsey Raid)

(AND quite coincidentally, the World's greatest heist novel EVER!!!!And don't doubt it Eye-wipes or it's Good-Byeeeeee to you, and you means you,...or your mate if he's smaller than you!)

So go now (but then come back)TO....da da Dee Daaaaa.....

Clickwww.thelastviking.co.uk

......OK,OK,OK, enough!

The Last Viking site will tell you all you need to know about how to get your hands on this monster,(and no bull shiting here, check out some of the feedback on site from MySpacers!) this inevitable gold-linked investment item of the future (Please Note carefully, all buyers, with the exception of Pension Trust Investment Managers,(and I will check!) are limited to no more than ten copies per person, no matter how much they cry, plead protest and threaten, usually in that order. I will only be intimidated by money!). And get an eyeful of my extra-special deal for MySpacers, great and small, at the bottom of this page (Where else? Incidentally me Mom sez it's a great offer!

18 August,2007. What a day, exactly one year since the official publication of the monster and the day the second edition was released, a film option contract signed with Infinite Wisdom Productions(How lucky can you be when the dates just happen to fall like that?). Michael Ford (not the copper)is the producer and the script by award winner Simon Bovey!For more See
www.iwisdom.co.uk/News/News.htm#Viking

www.filmbirmingham.co.uk

Thanks to friend Aaron, the Viking is now being read by US troops in Iraq!! Yep. Now any of you American readers who can't understand the occasional gangster Limeyism (eg Cannock chase = face)just message me. Most do have not trouble and just love it! eg see Friend Nancy's comment's on the web-site.

Second Novel, in Progress 'I,OEDIPUS', a serial rapist and killer obsesed with the Oedipus myth stalks the streets of Birmingham. A dark thriller with a hint of Hi Dee Hi salad cream!

Kiddywinkies Book. Yep, is there no end to this bastard's whatever. May 08 and I'm about to tout my kid's book, The Amazing Adventures of Scary Bones the Skeleton', around the publishers (help me find one and there'll be a tasty back-hander for you, remember Ron's no holding back deep pocket bastard when he's acknowledging his mates and slipping one in fer the ladies, no worries). Have a look in me pics to see the draft cover.

Now me. I was born in Birmingham’s Dudley Road Hospital in 1940, a good year to be born,as the Gerry bombing used to obliterate the noise of my crying and screaming so I learnt very quickly that crying don't mend the hole in the bucket. Me Dad (unknown, see I've already told you I'm a bastard)had already done a runner which probably inspired my mom to follow suit while I was still dangling upside down in the iron grip of a wet nurse intent on slapping me bare arse (those were the days!). Anyway, just as I was beginning to think that I might become the central character in a Charles Dicken's novel (or at least in a come-all Dickins),I was adopted at the age of two by a canal boatman and his wife who brought me up on the great Kingstanding Chav Council estate(any cat with a tail was a tourist!). We were skint (the Red Cross used to send our resident rats food parcels)so to earn a crust I used to fetch coal in a pram (baby removed or replaced in line Government Health and Safety Regs) and scubbing out dog kennels (this latter work tought me that the old saying 'Where's there's muck there's brass' is total bullshite, I was up to me elbows in dog-shite ((which qualifies as 'muck par excellance')) and never got any real brass from it).

When I left school I worked as a butcher’s boy, which taught me all I needed to know about blood, knives and dead flesh in readiness for a brilliant career as a Satanist but it was not to be because I failed a particularly disgusting part of the interview, (that Bastard Satan makes Alan Sugar look like a Cindy doll when it comes to interviews, why is shagging a goat so important to him?)(for US readers, Alan is the UKs answer to Donald Trump and did you know that the word 'Trump' is UK schoolboy lingo for 'fart'?) and so for the next nine years I had a succession of short-lived jobs (if they'd been long-lived there couldn't have been a succession, think about it), ranging from building site labourer, window cleaner (come back George Formby), soft-drinks delivery-man, power-press operator and door-to-door salesman. A serious bump on me motor-bike (and on me head, the M/B recovered quite quickly) led me to train as a teacher of maladjusted children (what great kids, it wasn't them that was maladjusted, it was the bloody system!).

From now on my life appears to be a lot more boring than it actually was 'cos, apart from the regular drilling, I always had something going on alongside the so-called conventional mainstream, eg I built and cruised a narrow boat (a real good looking traditional bugger not a steel update on a plastic pig, probably still out there somewhere, it was called the Phoenix); renovated houses; wrote comedy, got some on the News Huddlines; wrote and promoted local stage shows; did a bit of painting; invented things including a game which was take up by a big company,and then dropped! and so on) Through part-time study I got the degrees of BA.,(God Bless the OU) M.Sc., and PhD.,(let's hear it for Aston!) became a Research and Chartered Psychologist, and an Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society. This now meant that I could cure myself of insanity but it spoilt my enjoyment of the Theatre as I spent most of my time watching the audience. I was Principal Lecturer for post-graduate awards and Head of Special Needs and Habilitation Dept for nearly ten years in what is now the University of Winchester. I have too many academic and research based publications, many focused upon behavioural and emotional difficulties (what a surprise!) to count. My Teacher Information Pack (Tips), published by Macmillan Education, tackled the whole range of Special Educational Needs, and was described in a psychological Journal review as an ‘Opus Magnum’ (two words destined to become the name for a very popular ice cream). I was the originator, author and co-developer of the Baby Progress Guides, a pack of materials designed to help parents assess their baby’s development, still the best thing ever in this area and I need somebody to kick-start it again, so if you want to make a fortune, mail me). I had a regular column, The Dawson File, in Special Children magazine.

BUT NOW, with all that 'don't make a wave' stuff behind me, I've written my first novel......da da dee daaaaaaaa........The Last Viking.....(what a winner!)

AND..... a second... ‘I, Oedipus’,... is on the way. The story is told from the psychological perspective (ie inside the nutty bastard's head) of a serial rapist and killer who is obsessed by the Oedipus myth........... So, back to

THE LAST VIKING,.....Yeah Man, Rock on Tommy, Shit my pants, Lick my lolly, Rah, rah,rah....

This is the splurge on the back cover:

An exciting new novel by Ron Dawson At the cost of his own life, Ronnie Wheeler, the last surviving member of the Aston Villains, a Birmingham gangster mob, tells the inside story of the world’s greatest robbery. Telling of sea crossings in the dead of night in DUKW amphibious vehicles, the explosive, and often riotous, destruction of Guernsey’s links with the outside world, the savage capture of its police force, barbaric shootings, horrific torture and deaths, high stake gambles, treachery, revenge, inter-gang rivalries, the unremitting merciless powers of Her Majesty’s Secret Services, Nazi money laundering, impetuous and divisive sex, this is a fast moving story with unexpected twists and turns and a dramatic finalé. But why was news of this massive and violent raid murderously and mercilessly suppressed by the British establishment? Why did some of the gang walk free while others had to die? And just what was Ronnie Wheeler's final deal, and why did he also have to die?

‘An accurate and enjoyable insight into criminal behaviour and the world of crime…. Told in the authentic voice of an unrepentant criminal, this book tells it as it really is!’...... Mike Ford, Detective Sergeant (Retired), Crime Squad

A gripping blow by blow, behind the scenes, account of the heist of the century! The criminal mind at its best!......Dr Roger Merry, Psychologist.

‘An audacious robbery...An exciting adventure story...Refreshing realism...Consistently entertaining’..........Reviewer, Tindal Street Press.

NOW SEE FEEDBACK FROM SOME MYSPACERS ON THE VIKING SITE.

THE LAST VIKING (ISBN 141208683-3)

Available on line from Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.com, WHSmith.co.uk, Trafford.com/06-0439 and many more & good bookshops, eg. Bondsbooks. Harborne, Birmingham, On Guernsey, The Bookshop, St Sampsons, and The Press Bookshop, St Peter Port.

NB. The Last Viking contains STRONG LANGUAGE and scenes of VIOLENCE and is NOT recommended FOR GIRLIES, WETLEGS and VICARS.

Now to... Da da dee daaaaaa....... my next book (half done), a more poetic little comedy number I am calling

'I,OEDIPUS'.

This is the Pitch, verbatum, (or verbotan, depending on which side of the Rhine you are)that I am using to promote it (NB you may notice that the straight jacket is still there when you are trying to sell stuff to people who don't really want it)

In his novel ‘Red Dragon’ Thomas Harris first introduced the world to America’s Hannibal Lector. In his second novel, ‘I, OEDIPUS’ Ron L Dawson introduces Britain to its most sinister and psychotic serial killer, Joseph L Stepping. Joseph L Stepping is an only son and, unknown to him, a child of incest. He is emotionally and socially inadequate, a lonely young man living with his attractive mother. A failed rape attempt results in his first murder of a young girl and an awakening of sexual desires for his mother. He becomes aware of, and becomes obsessed by, the story of Oedipus. His ill-informed and distorted interpretation of the myth drives him to commit serial rape attempts which culminate in the murder of his victims. He also begins to kill those he perceives as his enemy and, on discovering that his own father is alive, he seeks him out and kills him too. His deluded prophesy, however, fails to materialise and so his sexual assaults and murders continue. Finally, a rape attempt which goes disastrously wrong results in his mother’s discovery of his crimes and his worship of Oedipus as his God. In a sad attempt to save her son from retribution, she becomes his final victim.

It is set in 1963 (a good year for music), and, like the Last Viking, features the garden city of Birmingham again although it could be easily modified to any major city. All possibilties for a West End musical version considered, provided that John Travolting does not play Stepping and Olivia Newton St John his mixed up mom.

Who I'd like to meet:
ACTORS!!!! Yes, with the Viking moving on as a Film Project I'd love to hear from Actors wanting a part (NB. Daniel Craig, Vinnie Jones, Ray Winstone, Jason Statham, Gary Stretch, etc. part guaranteed, unusually you will not have to beg or be auditioned, you're in, just mail me!). PUBLISHERS looking to take on a great second novel and authors' AGENTS looking to make loadsa money from a new author who is already getting active interest from FILM PRDUCERS, DIRECTORS, SCRIPT WRITERS, PRODUCTION COMPANIES (and without a single contact to open doors, drop names, ring bells, brown nose, pillow bite, etc, this is your origial lad from now-where, it's the potential of the book on its own merits that's generating the interest!).

Anyone into Guernsey, DUKW nutters, Birmingham and Brummie heist fans, Aston Villains, Weymouth promanaders, any of the great train robbers, Book Publisher, Film and TV Television Producers, Script writers, Writers agents, Big Joe Turner, Bill Haley and Elvis if he's still out there.(Ok, and you too Jerry Lee, now stop that blubbing!)

Ok, Okayyyyyyyy, alright now, AND everybody's friend TOM (who is that bastard???) How I hate that grinning mush of his everytime I look at my lovely 'Friends', give me five minutes with the bastard, that's all I ask, I'll wipe that smug smile off his Cannock Chase once and for all, I'll push his teeth so far down his throat he'll have to clean them through his freckle!

As Sir Les would say, 'Are you with me?'

Eh Up, Eh Up, Eh Up, Howse about this then? As a reuninvented idiot I'm selling off my Brand New Author copies, signed and dedicated just as you want it. As further evidence of my lunacy and love of MySpacers I'm selling them off for a give-away £4.99 (that's half the RPP Amazon Price!!!!) plus a quid for P&P. Just send cheque for £5.99 (Yes what a bargain, not even £6.00!)made out to Ron Dawson to Mulberry House (full address on www.thelastviking.co.uk)and don't forget to say if and how you want it signed. I know, I know, I'm a fool to myself!


   ron's Friend Space (Top 20)
ron has 61 friends.
 Nancy The Shieldmaiden 


 Beefy 


 Marky Mark 


 Toph 


 Perry Common 


 The Yellow Duckmarine 


 pheasey lewis 


 DEETOONS 


 Jamieson, The Official Bard of Malvern 


 The Bartons Arms 


 Mel Mills - Actor 


 Kevin Morgan 


 Sophie- Vix Viking 


 Tina 


 Helen 


 Nancy Wilde 


 Miserable Old Bastards 


 Viking Books 


 Birmingham Bertie 


 Tom 





ron's Friends Comments
Displaying 41 of 41 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
Mel Mills - Actor





Jun 18 2008 12:04 AM

Hey DR.Ron! Thought I would bring some much needed glamour to your page mate . . LOL. .
'Last Viking' A superb read, which was even better second time round. . . Top page as well!!

Stay lucky!!
Love & Respect sir!
Nancy The Shieldmaiden





May 23 2008 1:14 PM

Hey Ron! I just saw the new Indiana Jones movie and they used a DUKW! And then they destroyed it.
DUKW, Normandía 1944.Italeri.Escala 1/35May 2001
It kinda looked like this with a gun on the front.

Cheers!
Miserable Old Bastards





Apr 28 2008 11:58 AM

Ice Screams sounds suitable enough.
If we write a book will you say that you wrote it and get it published for us, there's a drink in it for you.

Right place...Ron time! if you say things about us, its only fair we can have a go isn't it.
Have a great cry!
Bastards
Nancy The Shieldmaiden





Apr 24 2008 11:16 AM


Hey ron, I just bought you as my PET! Click here to find out how much I think you're worth!

Nancy The Shieldmaiden





Apr 3 2008 10:38 PM

You need a new comment!

Cheers!
Techno Viking
Nancy Wilde





Mar 20 2008 12:58 PM

Thanks for adding me!

cheers!

song bird atc073
Helen





Mar 20 2008 12:32 AM

Hi Ron! I need to ask you this...have you seen 'Shaun of the Dead?' My son, Danny, tells me there is another Simon Page film coming out called 'Run, Fat Boy, Run'.
How is your film script going?
Nancy The Shieldmaiden





Mar 17 2008 8:41 AM

st. patrick's day
Mel Mills - Actor





Mar 10 2008 12:15 PM

Happy Birthday Ron, heres to the next 100 lol. . .
Now reading the book thru a second time mate (Excellent read!!), first time round took me best part of six months, due to my busy lifestyle. . . I hope to read it without quite so many breaks this time. . ha ha . . Hows the second coming along?
Well, the day is nearly over for me, but if I was celebrating being 101 today and looked as good as you, I guess I would celebrate it right thru to tomorrow!. . Hope you enjoy it buddy!
Best wishes,

Mel
Helen





Mar 10 2008 9:13 AM

Happy Birthday, Ron! If my calculations are correct, this makes you 101 today. Well done, Ron, what a magnificent age to be!!!!
Nancy The Shieldmaiden





Mar 8 2008 11:03 AM

Dear Ron...
Funny bday Msg

Make sure you enjoy it!

Cheers!
Nancy The Shieldmaiden





Feb 13 2008 8:34 PM

Happy Valentine's Day!

Nancy The Shieldmaiden





Jan 30 2008 2:10 PM

Ron, I saw an ad for a film called "In Bruges" and I thought of you. Hope all is well.

Cheers!
Perry Common





Jan 29 2008 12:58 PM

My vote (having read the book)is for the Aston Villians ...Fact not fiction
Mel Mills - Actor





Jan 29 2008 12:12 PM

Evenin Ron! read your bulletin, ha! £53 Million eh!. . Looks like the Aston Villians still hold the record then. . .LOL. .
Chat soon mate, meanwhile best of luck with the book that tells the story of 'the greatest Heist ever'. .
Love & Respect to you mate. . . ya robbin bastard! Ha Ha ha . . . .
G & R LONDON, Record label and promotions company





Jan 21 2008 12:22 PM

Click to visit G & R London..
Birmingham Bertie





Jan 21 2008 6:48 AM

Hello Ron! Great to meet you, and the very best of luck with the book, a copy of which I shall definitely aquire! Hope my tunes and video make you smile!! With your skills you probably have me down as a complete nutcase! Not quite yet! A mischievous politically incorrect genius is how I'd put it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please keep in touch Ron! Bertie.
Nancy The Shieldmaiden





Dec 31 2007 1:52 PM

She's just about to sing!

Have a great New Year!

NE PHOTO-IMAGES





Dec 28 2007 7:23 AM

Thank god it wasn't my main computer. I use a notebook for my business but this just means I need a new one!! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season~NE
Mel Mills - Actor





Dec 27 2007 11:40 AM

Hey Ron! Just dropping in to wish you & the better half a top Christmas & a successful New Year! Still reading the book mate - its like a fine Brandy. . .not to be rushed at the first sitting! Ha. .
Catch up with you in 2008 Ron,
Stay safe, Love & Respect. .

Mel
Wellsy





Dec 18 2007 4:45 AM

Hello Ron, nice to meet your acquaintance (had to get the thesaurus out for that one)!
How are you? I agree that we brummies are very overlooked but we know what a vibrant city we live in with a diverse multi-cultural society. Our influences are so vast that there is a plethora of unique styles in our our arts and music, and long may that continue.
I will try to get hold of your book as I haven't really read anything for a few months; to busy with the band, work and children.
Keep in touch.
Nice one,
Wellsy.
Miserable Old Bastards





Dec 12 2007 1:39 PM

Evening Ron you Bastard Misery.
Hope you're sobbing on a first edition and making the print run.
Have a good New Year...relive the past!

Bastards.
Dilys





Dec 7 2007 12:10 AM

Morning Ron,
Yes they are a jolly quartet, those quizical instruments were patented by pater. Marine grade ply attatchments, removed at the flick of a wrist.

I hope that you are keeping well during this season. This is one man I would like to meet and congratulate. Maybe I'm just an intolerant bag.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Miserable Old Bastards





Dec 3 2007 2:43 PM

We married twins, ones an Headcase and the others her trainer, they're identical twins, ones ugly the others the same!
Waking up in the morning with welders goggles on is a blessing so are the dark mornings.
Soon as the alarm goes off its misery time for us.
We weren't just born Miserable, we were conceived in Misery, our Father had a heart attack on the job and snuffed it on the gravy stroke, our Mother was to weak to lift him off and they stayed like that for twelve hours, she thought he was still on the foreplay until rigor mortis gave the game away.
When we were born Margaret Thatcher had her first period...in the Library and dropped her bookmark.
On our first birthday there was a spate of wrong hanging in Britain and a train strike, we've both got holes in our arses that dont work.
Your Missus sends us money and notes asking could we come to visit as you're so cheerful and it gets on her nerves.
We've got tablets for everything and none of them work!
One of us looks like Dudley Moore in candlelight, the other looks like your missus.
So what do you want for Christmas? a leaflet explaining how to say Cheese?

The Bastard Bastards.
Dilys





Dec 2 2007 3:48 AM

A very jolly Sunday to you Ron.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Miserable Old Bastards





Nov 27 2007 2:39 PM

Hello Ron,
We've been frowning in our old brown car waiting for you to fetch the chips and a flask of tea and what happens?
You hold a competition in your front room and leave us both go hungry for six and a half hours!
You know how to cheer up a pair of Miserable old Bastards up dont you.
Perry Common





Nov 22 2007 9:29 AM

Hello Ron
I read the book . Loved it . i am looking forward to the movie. I think i can play Spider ..just send me a ticket mate and i'm there
Perry Common