ryan j. rader

The hyena trips the weasel and laughs hysterically. The weasel gets mad and decided to act Weasley. Whipping out a wand he yells "Stupefy!". At once, the hyena started drooling like a stupid, hysterical idiot. Unfortunately the weasel steps into a puddle of spit and gets infected with rabies (hyena was rabid, see?). A minute later, the weasel went crazy as the rabies virus attacks his brain. The poor, dumb, hyena didn't last 5 seconds. After ripping apart the hyena, the demented weasel picked up his wand, pointed it at the lawyer and attempted to yelled, "Wingardium Leviosa!"....

Unfortunately, it sounded more like "Winged Guardian, Leviathan!". Huge wings sprouted from the lawyer's shoulder blades and shiny metal armor grew on his body. Soon, the lawyer was a 20-foot tall, armored colossus with wings. He thought about saying "fee, fie, fo, fum", but his lawyer instinct took over. His master had summoned him to sue, so he got right to work. Picking up the shredded hyena remains, he began sewing them back together. The weasel was furious, and decided to commit kamikaze with the killing curse. Sadly, with his brain so messed up, it never occurred to him that using the killing curse on himself wouldn't do anything to the people around him.
So the weasel stabs himself with the wand, screams "Avada Kedavra!", and dies. The lawyer/big-armored-giant finishes putting the hyena back together and gradually returns to normal. He examines, then cross-examines the bloody scene in front of him and decides that the weasel deserved the death sentence. He picks up his suitcase, gives the dead hyena a gentle kick, and headed back to work.


...and I dont know what the (explitive) this means, but... damn... haha