Dustin Schotsch

Who I'd like to meet:

Soldier at the gates
A soldier on guard, looking for any sign of attack was walking back and forth when he heard a crack he thought was only a twig but he had to be sure. The soldier yelled out, "Who's there? Answer now." No reply so he went back to his business, not thinking about it. Five minutes later another noise disturbed him. It was a voice. This time he turned around to see a dark figure with red glowing eyes in front of him. The figure began to talk about the young man's life. Everything he had done and thought. The soldier looked at the dark figure with amazement and asked if he was God. The figure answered, "No, Peter, I am the boat master. I'm taking you to the Gates of Judgment." The soldier replied, "You mean, I'm dead? How can this be? All I heard was a. . ." He began to think about the noise and realized it was gunfire, not a twig. He began to look and feel himself. He put his hand over his chest and felt the cold blood on his uniform. He looked down and saw a hole through his heart. The boat master looked at the scared young man. "Yes, you died. The hole through your heart is what killed you but you died a great man. Not just a man, but a great man. It's time to step off. You're here and no need to pay me. Your trip is free for such a great man as you." The young soldier stepped off the boat. He stood at attention and awaited his judgment. While the soldier stood waiting he saw a bright shining light. It stopped right in front of him. Next appeared a black burning flame. They began to talk about the young man's life and everything he had done. Everything seemed to be going good because everything was countering each other, then when they reached the point in his life where he became a soldier the black flame became quiet and said, "You may take him, no questions asked. No argument made for what he has done. He has more than deserved to be here." The black flame disappeared. The bright light told the young soldier standing there proud and tall that he would have to be put to work. The soldier replied, "I am more than willing to do that, Sir. I am ready to serve again. What is my post?" The light answered, "I have the highest honor for you and your friends alike you. Although, I want you at the gates, guarding it. May you be the guardian I have been looking for, Saint Peter?" He replied, "Sir, I believe I am but what does the job of guardian entail?" The light laughed and said, "You never heard of the guardian of the gate? You are basically the one who protects all, but most of all you will be protecting everyone inside the gates." The soldier smiled and began to walk his post, standing there with pride, knowing he is protecting everyone now.
Original by Edwin Davis
Thanks for letting me change it up a bit.


IVE GOT YOUR SANCTITY OF LIFE
by George Carlin
One phrase that comes up quite a bit in abortion discussions is "sanctity of life." What about that? Do you think there's such a thing as sanctity of life? Personally, I think it's a bunch of shit. Who says life is sacred? God? Great, but if you read your history you know that God is one of the leading causes of death and has been for thousands of years. Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Jews, all taking turns killing one another, because God told them it was a good idea. The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengence is mine. Millions of dead people. All because they gave the wrong answers to the God Question:
"Do you believe in God?"
"No."
BAM! Dead.
"How about you? Do you believe in God?"
"Yes."
"Do you believe in MY God?"
"No."
BAM! Dead.
"My god has a bigger dick than your god."
For thousands of years all the bloodiest and most brutal wars have been based on religious hatred. Which, of course, is fine with me; any time "holy" people are killing one another, I am a happy guy. But please, don't kill each other and then give me that shit about "sanctity of life." Even if there were such an absurd thing, I don't think you could blame it on God. You know where the sanctity of life comes from? We made it up. You know why? Because we're alive. Self-interest! Living people have a strong incentive to promote the ideas that somehow life is sacred. You don't see Bing Crosby runnin around talking about this shit, do you? You don't hear much from Mussolini on the subject, And whats the latest from JFK? Not a goddamn thing! you know why? Because JFK, Mussolini, and Bing Crosby are all fuckin dead. They're fuckin dead and dead people give less than a shit about the sanctity of life. The only people who care about it are the living. So the whole thing grows out of a biased point of view. It is a self-serving, man-made,bullshit story; one of those things we tell ourselves in order to feel noble. "Life is sacred." Makes us feel good. But let me ask you this: If everything that has ever lived is dead, and everthing alive is going to die, where does the sacred part come in? Can you help me on that? Because even with all we preach about the sanctity of life, we don't practice it. Look at what we kill : Mosquitoes and flies, because they are pests. Lions and tigers, because its fun. Chickens and pigs, because we're hungry. And people. We kill people. Because they are pests. And because it's fun! And here is something else I noticed. Apparently, the sanctity of life doesn't apply to cancer cells, does it? You rarely see a bumper sticker that says "Save the Tumors." Or "I Brake for Advanced Melanoma." No. Viruses, molds, mildew, maggots, fungus, weeds, intestinal worms, E. Coli bacteria, the crabs. Nothin' sacred about those things. Just us. So, at best, the sanctity of life is a selective thing. We choose which forms of life we feel are sacred, and we get to kill the rest. Pretty neat deal. You know how we got it? We made the whole thing up! Same way we made up the death penalty. The sanctity of life, and the death penalty. We're such a versatile species.