Traveling(when I don't know where I'm going), Traveling(when I do), going to see a movie by myself, making someone a present for no reason, beating people in Ping-Pong(especially Asians because they get really mad), protesting Halloween and all those stupid costumes, eating in a quiet restaurant for hours, doing math problems, making fun of people who think they "get it" and then acting like I do, reading myself to sleep, verbally "excusing" people who outrageously burp in public (what's wrong with you?), watching episode after episode of America's Funniest Home Videos, eating cheese and crackers at midnight, laughing at people who actually wear their SAG pin (or even know where it is), adding fuel to the fire, oh that reminds me, I like camping too, defending USA Today, the constant feeling of being busy, collecting shoes, walking somewhere instead of driving, going to a baseball game, and making people laugh on the worst day of their life.
Music
Country music, especially Willie and the Dixie Chicks; but Toby Keith can keep the boot up his ass for all I care. I love Elvis and will always respect George Washington for giving up the title of King to him(if you don't know what that means we may never be friends). I worked in radio for 5 years so I love and can appreciate all types of music. I love buying music from artists I've never heard of, but generally I've found that country music is the easiest to memorize.
Movies
Documentaries are my favorite and I could watch Top Gun every day, but LOTR makes me want to puke and protest Christmas so Santa's elves can save face.
Television
I know every episode of AFV and Survivor by heart. I'm definitely addicted to CSI and I really miss Seinfeld and Friends. Conan is the funniest guy on late night and John Stewart deserves the nobel prize and a blow job from Bill O'Reilly.
Georgia State University
Atlanta,Georgia
Graduated: 2000
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Film and Video Production
Minor: Theatre
About me: When I was student body president (stop laughing) at my high school, I used to get picked on for not being funny while making the morning announcements. Who's laughing now assholes! I don't exactly know if that experience was part of my motivation to be a stand-up comic, but getting the hell out of Georgia was motivation enough. Don't get me wrong, I love my hometown and the great "Red" state, I'm just glad no one told me I was bad in bed or I might be making a living in a short skirt on Crenshaw right now. I'm glad I don't look like a comedienne and I love that people underestimate me. I enjoy the element of suprise myself. My idea of a great day is waking up early, reading the paper and doing the crossword...well most of it, working out to the Dixie Chicks at the gym, having a challenging and informative conversation over an outdoor lunch, writing a joke about that conversation while I watch the Braves beat anyone, taking an afternoon nap and then waking up to find out that the Yankees lost to anyone, getting dressed up in a new outfit, putting on new perfume, performing my new jokes in front of an amazing audience that doesn't believe in being politically correct, hanging out with and meeting even more amazing comics in LA, then coming home to read my book and fall asleep to Top Gun...yeah I said it, talk to me Goose. I love to work and work and work, but I know that my only job in life is to be happy..
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Hey Sarah, It was nice to run into you the other night at The 101. I wish I ran into you more often. I hope you are great. Love that beautiful picture of you. -Ruby
Are you performing tonight? Are you nervous? Oy vay, don't be nervous! Otherwise you'll get all sweaty with worry and the mike will fall out of your hands causing pandemonium and the teenagers will run from the room screaming and start a teenage riot! I've seen it happen before. For God's sake stay calm!!! Right before you go onstage think these 3 words - "Star, Smile, Strong". Also think about Josef Stalin naked. It will calm you down. Hey, it worked for Jolson. Now get up there and make de peepulz LAFF!!!
