Photo of Satan's Cheerleaders

Satan's Cheerleaders

Satan's Cheerleaders Radio

General Info

  • Genre: Christian

    Location Adelaide, South Australia, AU

    Profile Views: 24418

    Last Login: 4/9/2013

    Member Since 8/31/2006

    Website www.scheerleaders.com

    Record Label Unsigned

  • Bio

    .. .. .. To buy the album, ask any questions, privately offer comments, thrust forth demands or beg for forgiveness, contact:.. .. ....Alternatively, you can BUY THE ALBUM HERE!.... .......... OR FROM ITUNES HERE!.. ...... .. .. .. .. Learn about, view and hear the album! Visit ..www.scheerleaders.com..!.... .... ...... .. .. .. .. .. .. .... Music video by Sam Cherry ...... .. .. .. .. .. .. .... Video from ..Spoz's Rant.., a good site. .... .. The original Satans Cheerleaders biography read like this. However, make no mistake, it was a different entity in those heady days of 2001... At that particular point in time the Cheerleaders consisted of two individuals; the mildly megalomaniacal Simon Ridley and the quietly dangerous Ben Cook... The initial incarnation of the band involved a great deal of abuse of cheap scotch and brandy, and late Friday nights screaming at an entirely unco-operative computer. Much time was lost in the bottle, electrocutions were not uncommon and the self-appointed creative genius (Ridley) played the musical nibbly bits until hand-eye co-ordination reached prohibitive levels of intoxication. Bens role was to record this musical gibberish and fashion it into some semblance of a musical entity. This process was as productive as a crippled, drooling sloth, referred to by his siblings as the other brother. .... When Triple Js unearthed came to Adelaide it was decided that rather than submit the full first song which had been recorded in a combination of bathrooms, kitchens and cupboards (an early rendering of The Cursed Hands of Automaton), a far more insightful plan was hatched. The bare minute long Cut Blood Artery Spurt was submitted, which made it to air and caused some deal of on-air confusion and horror. Why bother with actual success when notoriety can be gained? .. And so general wallowing in filth and inaction followed. Ben moved to Melbourne, Simon went to study fashion and politics in the Sorbonne under the tutelage of Rantamahationatius the fasitidious, and met long-term provocateur Black Jambo. .... After some years of intermittent writing Simon returned to the terrible black cauldron in which Satans Cheerleaders was festering and started piecing together the group of fine young musicians you see before you today. .. Rehearsals began in late 2005 and within some short months a set of terrifying volume and madness was established. .... Satans Cheerleaders is also the name of a film. This piece of celluloid magic (possibly black magic), was discovered in late 1999, in the second hand bin of an out of the way video store, heavy with the smell of second hand smoke in the presence of a shelf which was home to every Steven Segal movie ever released. And so the idea for the band arrived, unannounced like a slack jawed, wide-eyed chap from Salt Lake City in a white shirt offering religious enlightenment upon your doorstep far too early in the morning. Offensive yet intriguing, begging the question Why? .. Strange noodling guitars start to drip down your ear canal, like beans escaping from a burrito. The odd aggressive blast of unadulterated distorted riffing periodically presents itself in a manner akin to that of an exhibitionist displaying all the hall-marks of attention deficit disorder. .. Actually, a lot of the music has that element to it. .. ADD, exhibitionismetc Versatile, distinctive drumming directs the music. Bass. Saxophone, yes saxophone and plenty of swirling organ to swim around in. Voices permeate the sound-scape sporadically. ...... ....

  • Members

    ..Simon Ridley.. .. As discussed elsewhere, the less said about him the better really... .. .. .. ..Jarrad Payne.... The drummer. But not a stereotypical drummer! He plays in time. He plays other instruments. He has incredibly managed to become the first person to cross the Atlantic Ocean in an Automobile. But a humble man is Jarrad, and unlikely to admit to such great feats. Other achievements include establishing the first hospital rehabilitation ward for sarcastic household electronic items that love too much. The needy toaster. The desperate, ivory related product-polishing machine. The hair-curling wand with the longing look in its eyes. Additionally, Jarrad is a real musician; trained and competent, ready and willing. He plays in other bands such as Salty, Fud and The Swan Song Release semi-Christian rhythm-o-phone duo-tet. No one has ever heard the final band listed, however it is rumoured that they once supported Def Lepard in a cave located in the outer reaches of Celtic Scotland during the late 1980s. Having completed a solo album, and sporting a cracking pair of shins (which he often uses to fend off the more evil of woodland creatures), his legend is known throughout the land. I demand that you visit his website immediately... .. .. .. .. ..Jamie Mensforth.... While striking fear into the otherwise rational hearts of large men with an interest in accounting and a keen nose for hobby farming, the one known only as "Jamie Mensforth" has accomplished much since the turn of the millenium. Striking fear is merely one of his talents. How exactly does one "strike fear" I hear you explode in disbelief, sweat dripping off the end of your nose, signifying that you do find this to be a puzzling and antagonising prospect indeed. And for this disgusting and outragoues display of discourteousness and pitiful ignorance I simply shall thumb my nose at you and set the vilent swine upon your heels! For such inquiries could indicate one thing and one thing only, that you sir are a bounder and a cad!.... Jamie also plays bass. Now let me clear something up. That's better. Additionally it may interest you to know that Jamie is not the first bassophonist to serve within the ranks of the Cheerleaders. no no no. Jamie is in fact the one thousand, six hundred and seventy seventh individual to carefully mould and project the dark swampy rublings that his instrument (a gigantic piece of aged steak with strings miraculously attached) is capable of into the larger unsuspecting cosmos. And what a fine member he was. We needed only to divide his age by the number of Aztec warriors he brutally slaughtered while "being a spaniard" several centuries ago by the sacred and secret "number of the cheerleader" (which clearly i cannot reveal to you gentle reader) and then place the number, imbued in gold on the anceint bronze altar and wait for the full moon to shine through the sacred moon crystal and then the awesome power of the time ruby will be revealed and with it i will ....... Terribly sorry. I don't know what ever came over me. Suffice it to say that "Jamie Mensforth" is our new, improved and it would appear permanent bassingerist......... ..Derek Pascoe.... Derek Pascoe is the name of a rather smart and hansom tenor saxophone. Born in Indian Britain in a time when saxophones seen as second class citizens, scorned for lacking "consciousness" and "organs" and so forth, Derek learned early what it was like to have to fight for what he wanted. Oh yes, the other children would laugh and attempt to throw objects into his conical bell, but young Derek was strong and he knew the hard times would not last forever. Derek is one of only six saxophones to ever be appointed an Aztec High Priest, and his bi-weekly radio talk-back show wherein temperate gardening matters and words that rhyme with "sax" are discussed has consistently polled slightly above average ratings. He also usually has a male human attached to his mouthpiece, whose primary duties are to propel air through Derek and operate his keys in an organised fashion. ........ Other men of interest:.... ..Lyndon Gray.... Once described by Harpers magazine as one of the foremost thinkers in arrangement and composition it appeared that all would be well if this fiend was recruited. But you must read the fine print. I implore you; read the fine print. I command that you and your children read the small print. Or I will cut you. The claims of Composition and arrangement referred to that of superfluous body parts of handicapped children! This was the talent that the young man in question was being lauded for in the publication mentioned! (Should have read the whole article.) While I would never suggest that assisting children born with web feet or extra long forearms to find new and inventive ways to make their appendages appear more like attractive accessories is pointless, it would have been helpful if it had been pointed out that his skills of composition and arrangement lay in this particular sphere before he joined the band. I appreciate that his work in turning frowns up side down is well recognized, but watching him mangle the bass is only comparable to watching a midget slowly removing all the unnecessary puppy fat rolls from their body with a rusty vegetable peeler. We reached a conclusion that the best course of action would be to masking tape the bass to the back of his head. Its a double bass. .... .. .. .. ..Stuart Earl.... Keen to play the saxophone, forced to play the keyboard, coerced into manipulating the theremin. Stuart was exhumed from the afore-mentioned cardboard box. No one knew that he had been residing there. But his time inside the cardboard box was well spent. After hundreds of years learning the ways of the box, the political intricacies and the cultural tensions, the man now known as Stucifer rose to the top of the society. He commanded great armies and was a legendary Casanova figure. But soon the confines of the box became tiresome. He bade the inhabitants farewell and travelled to the Adelaide jazz scene where I stole him. He is mine now. You are too... .. .. .. .. ..Dean.... Dean is not Dean. He has only occupied the same punctual location of Dean for a short period of time and on either side of this snippet of temporal abnormality is, simply, the greater ether of his being. Dean has come to occupy various forms over the ages. For a short while he was Errol Flynn. He is no longer due to copyright complications. Fortunately during this incarnation he learnt not only the basic skills of wearing a thin moustache, leaping from chandeliers and remarkable swordsmanship, he managed to convince the skin he was in to relinquish ownership of its cheekbones, which he has remained in possession of to this day. The skin was a fool to make such a deal, especially as Dean only offered the skin a weekend pass to Dream world in return. Dream world was not to be constructed for another 38 years! Would the good people of this establishment be likely to let a skin suit without even a skerrick of cheekbone into such a fine establishment? I think not! Consequently, the skin has since been listlessly drifting upon the whimsical winds, singing the song which used to give it strength but now only serves as a cruel and bitter reminder of what used to be. If on a crisp winter’s eve you should hear it whispered on a distant breeze do not fear it, it can smell fear, and may come to encase you. Be wary; the song is as follows: .. ..“Skin, skin, skin, skin. Keeps the outsides out and the insides in.” ....Dean Fioretti also plays bass. Do we have two bass players? THREE BASS PLAYERS? No. No. .. .. .. .. .. ..David Telfer.... David is new. Shining and new, just like Goldie Hawn’s forehead. So what does this statement mean? Is Dave new? Perhaps he appears to be new but secretly he has been lurking in the public eye since the early 1940’s. Perhaps Dave is a double agent. But for whom? And why? And to what end? What purposes could he possibly have for infiltrating the tight and occultish circle of Satan’s Cheerleaders? It doesn’t really matter because unbeknownst to “David Telfer” the evil magicians have once again come to the rescue. These fine gentlemen, replete with:.... “Stove pipe hats, .. Splendid Spats, .. Hoops and barrels, bags with cats; .. A trick for you, .. A mystery find, .. And eyelids stolen from the blind” .... (as their motto states) are capable of darkness and, for some time, have been indebted to the Cheerleaders organization. I simply cannot tell you what they have done to Dave. Suffice it to say that they have altered him. And now … he is mine. The only clue that I can give you is that they upgraded his hands so that they may carry out the keyboard related parts of the musical facets of Satan’s Cheerleaders (or “The Organization”). Might one refer to these hands as … ..cursed hands..?........

  • Influences

    Elvis Presly, Barry Manilow, Toni Pearen

  • Sounds Like

    Through the wails of sorrow a single drop could be heard upon the surface of the lake of fire, and after the steam settled upon the blood like goo the silhouette of a row boat grew ever larger and the time of the cheerleaders was now upon us.

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