Sceneb.itch's Blog

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AsOne....

Ohh "Happy New Year", yeh yeh we got locked out of Facebuck so a bit of a delay in sending you our b.itchin greetings. And thanks for voting for us in the New Years Honours List – The Queen was 'not amused'.

Our New Year clubbing decision was based on the need to find something we never tried before, after our last WE party we needed a change. AS ONE has never appealed before - as both we had seen long queues in snow one year after we came from SuperMartXe at the Brixton Academy and then the mix of clubs – can all those Bears, Trannies, Club Kids, Beefcakes, Buff Boys, Hunks and everyone in-between really get on in one club. Well there was only one way to tell!

Our arrival time was perfectly not co-ordinated with just too many separate friends groups, some coming on from WE Party where they were on a mega ticket of clubbing – so hardcore. We were having a nice simple 'one party' new year celebration - so an early 23.30 rendezvous at Vauxhall Station meant we walked with nervous "queue thoughts" down to Fire's main entrance, only to be told we had past the entrance which was at the Lightbox entrance – oops we had thought that was the VIP entrance to Protocol. Oh shows what chavs we really are then. But through the gate, still expecting a massive queue hiding behind, but no, straight into an efficient but polite security check in the courtyard. Then a lil walk along behind the arches to the Fire Garden area where picnic benches were being laid out. To the coat check. Oh – no, no – no queue but IT'S OUTSIDE – yes neatly barriered and seemingly would work very efficiently - but did anyone think how cold it was – thinking more for the morning. But we can freeze the thought there, and return to it in the morning I guess. So handing over our layers to the friendly and already cold joking girls on the coat check team – we smiled wryly at the prospect.

So running through and guessing which set of doors gets you into the club we were safely inside the much warmer club and grabbed our New Year Drinks with friends in the Mirror Arch bar - and were there a whole load of us assembled. So through to the main room which was already nicely pumping and we took up residence near the steps in the 'bar quarter' of the main room which was hosting Orange this evening. The music was certainly very upfront and vocal and totally suiting our mood. With Smokin'Jo on the decks later that evening you really sensed a superior internationally famous talented DJ in her tracks. The crowd was nicely mixed but your general 'Fire' clubbers – cute, toned and tops off – and buff bodies – oh all except the one girl with us – who pulled a guy in five minutes and was off home again!

The excitement was marred at one point by one of our party believing he had just had his phone pick pocketed on the dance floor – jeez – he spent an hour trapsing about looking and reporting back to security and then found it in his back pocket later that evening – the total muppet – well in his defence he said "but I never keep it in that pocket" – ok Sherlock duh.

So with the night progressing we checked out the eclectic mix of clubs – finding that the MegaWoof in the Lightbox was pumping some great tracks (making us think we might visit that club one day even) – perhaps when you lose your baby face babes). But Daz Saund and Micky Galiano were doing the stuff and we love the room – still in love with the light array and that rather cute tall toned Dr lad who kept following Tall-B.itch from room to room. Although interesting we didn't see many MegaWoof stereotypes in that room.

We kept walking through the Trade 'mirror arch' but not long enough to dance, as our draw was the main room – as it so often is at our clubbing extravaganza. And we didn't manage to visit The Fire Lounge and of course we chavs were not invited to the VIP area – don't they know who we are?

The main room remained full with plenty of space at the bar end – but not in that 'ooh the club is emptying' fashion – this was comfortable New Year clubbing.Our party friends who had been WE parting as well, certainly didn't last until the early morning but we made a conscious decision to leave before the usual Beyond timed exit – and yes it was a bit chilly waiting for the coats – although not too long a wait thank goodness. We then proceed to Charriots to find it 'closed until Midday' so with no Tubes running yet – yes we joined the last of our mad friends for Beyond and Tall-B.itch was flavour of the month with the Dr boy sniffing around plus two other couples – but we were happy together – bringing in the New Year our way without external carnal interference or intervention and some lovely Beyond beats.

It seems these B.itches are game for anything, and with an acquaintance of the deviant type inviting us to try HardOn – we thought long and hard on it ... and since we had previously attended "F*st ReUnion" – mistakenly thinking it was HardOn – then this was the time to redeem our-fetish-selves.

Latino-B.itch needed a last minute shopping trip to purchase a pair of boots – as HardOn is remarkably strict compared to the parties we have been to at Recon and The Boots in Antwerp. We are a shy pair so we travelled incognito on the tube arriving around midnight.

Coming from the non-RVT end, Goding Street feels a little deserted but thankfully there was the door and with a minimal security check, the main concern was whether we had boots – yes and they were still in their box – all gift wrapped ;-) A gentle patting down and through into the entrance hall. Here a very organised and friendly affair took place with membership cards being checked off against computers and the £15 entry fee paid to a very cute 'cashier' in a red harness.

The advertising had said 'Two changing Areas' – well if you count two rows of chairs – one in the b.itch dark and the other a bit better lit – then I suppose there were. It's only I imagine the delights of a Virgin Active club changing room – fussy? not us. Stripping off and into our harness, jeans (sexy chaps for the perfectly ripe Latino bum!) and of course shiny boots – we immediately caused the testosterone levels to rise and we hadn't even entered the club proper. The cloakroom was efficiently operated and nice little 'zippable laundry/shopping bags' were provided to stash our civilian clothes – although the cloakroom staff looked a little bemused by the people they were serving (in various states of undress) but kept smiling nevertheless.

Our two friends came to meet us looking particularly fetching, one shiny in rubber while the other all macho in this harness – so we grabbed a drink from the bar before proceeding off to find the dance floor at the end of a dark passage way – we are really scared about hitting out heads in these places – maybe we should come as miners with head torches! It was a night sponsored by invinciblerubber.com but we could see a lot of leather harness guys hanging about too so we had no worries there – plus a few "slave pigs" – really on all floors with a piggy mask on, Latino-B.itch had to be told not to stare!

The dance floor was a nice space, with a bar at the back – already full of guys – and many much hotter and younger than we had imagined – so this was a helpful sign for a good evening to come. We of course drew even more admiring stares and Latino-B.itch's ass seemed to be the focus of attention when they weren't fixed on our abs. Well they can all look for free, but touching by Royal appointment only. The music was being DJ'd by Brent Nicholls, Sharon O Love and Halo-Is. We could just see the Australian Brent masterminding his selection of pumped up beats although, the DJ booth was at the back of the stage - for him a bit like being in the outback! Although on the stage there was a rubber kinky sex show taking place so I guess people wanna see the action not the DJ!

But we had to move on and explore up the stairs from here was a mezzanine cruising balcony overlooking the dance floor with bench seating – quite a nice area and remind us very much of Rapido Amsterdam – although not quite a bright – just a personal preference of wanting a little more light to see who u cruising – we are VERY choosey! But there was a blonde whose eyes kept meeting mine but was already rather engaged by the status of his manhood and the guy on his knees.

Along then through a set of doors and into the main play room which was even darker! Plenty of buckets of condoms, lube and gloves as you entered – which was encouraging to see. Bench seating to the right – slings to the left – the sling area was sleazily dark – no idea who u might stumble across in there and then we did see our rubber clad friend pumping wildly away – but he had time to turn and grin. At times this was a real traffic jam having to literally slide your way through, falling over legs and feet from kneeling cock suckers up to mischief on the floor, luckily all that lube eases the way through.

Down the steps then and into the 'back bar' (the coat check area) and through again into the main dance floor where we engaged ourselves in one of the Fuck n suck nooks. One part of the extra fun of doing your own boyfriend in public – well those chaps just entice you to use them – especially when he bent down to tie his lace. Then a quick freshen up involved checking out the toilets, which were being well maintained by a guy whose ass also looked pretty good in chaps! But standing for a pee at the urinals was at times off putting if u not into watersports with a guy kneeling by your side but it did give me the chance for a little anglo-dutch relations and the three of us nipped into an empty cubicle to try it out for size. And as we came out who should be waiting for us but the blonde guy again – oh go on then, he asked if we had been avoiding him – with that protrusion how could we not notice him!

We did briefly join our leather friend on the smoking terrace – mainly to ogle some fresh meat in the light and were well rewarded for our smoke inhaled pain. By 4am the crowd had started to thin, have these sleazy bunch no stamina? But the dance floor was still pulling them in with excessive amounts of CO2 and laser and minimal lighting effects, as well as some progressive pumped up tracks. In fact trying to find the exit was surreal as the fog was so thick it was scary, had to hold on to those Brazilian buttocks for safety.

So declobbering we felt like continuing but in a less sexually charged intense atmosphere so a short walk around the block and we were safely installed in Charriots to continue the beats and spent the evening with a Persian and American couple's very affectionate company at this delightful spa.

So a pleasantly fetished first appearance for SceneB.itch at HardOn, impressed by the quality of hot guys, the efficient organisation, the safe sex tools, the dance floor, lasers and quality music. We admit not to be hardcore sleaze freaks but a little dabble from time to time suits our fancy – looking hot in our gear and saying 'no' gives us just as much pleasure than giving it to a minger. But there was enough fun to be had – yup thumbs up and we'll be doing it sleazy again some day soon.