Elizabeth:
Elizabeth is a cynical, ham-loving sort who is way too amused by the fact that she is writing about herself in third person. Elizabeth sees cookies. Elizabeth runs to cookies. Elizabeth eats cookies! Mm, cookie. She draws things, including the comic, and hates everyone in the world just a little bit. That's love, that is!
Nicky:
Nicky is sometimes what's known as a smooth operator. Directing calls is no easy task, my friend. Contrary to beliefs held by gay men and some Germans, Nicky is, in fact, male and likes boobs as much as any other not-gay man. He and Elsie have big plans regarding the fate of the world.
Elsie:
Elsie grows plants, occasionally plants of the face-eating variety and occasionally plants of the world domination variety. But you didn't read that. She uses robot force (named Ted) to keep cats from shitting in her garden. She is strongly opposed to Ghandi's urine-drinking ways and is Kylie's younger sister.
Kylie:
Kylie loves every color on the planet and some that can only be found on Mars and Jupiter. She also bakes a mean pie. "Your mom" insults guaranteed or your money back! While Kylie and Elsie share a love of cats, Kylie's love leads to situations that can only be classified as Cat Emergencies. Kylie is Elsie's older sister and Jaime's girlfriend.
Jaime:
Jaime is occasionally (okay, like, once. I had to be Faggy McGayerson) referred to as Dykey Peterson by the rest of Sconeborough, though in our defense she came up with it herself. Her enemies are ants, puppies that eat the world, and small rodents that live in her sweater drawer. She is fond of cute bat-shaped things and is also Kylie's girlfriend.
Nikki:
Nikki, though having the same name (almost), is actually not Nicky but a separate entity, an entity that exists in a higher plane of l33t. Nikki knows more languages than most humans, including languages that only work for computers. She is like that jolly old neighbor on Home Improvement who never showed his face to anyone, minus some jolly and a lot of old.
Lard a.k.a. Cinnamon:
Lard is a big, fat kitty who likes to knock things over, eat plants, and demand attention. What cat doesn't?