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The Bubble Man's Identity Exposed!!! Since I created my music video “The Bubble Man,” I've gotten a lot of guesses as to his identity: David Rockefeller, Sammy Davis Jr., Elvis. But the Bubble Man's identity is now known to anyone who's been paying attention. He is none other than Alan Greenspan, former chairman of the Federal Reserve. As the inevitable financial crisis unfolds, it's popular to say that “there's plenty of blame to go around.” But Mr. Greenspan, AKA “The Maestro” is now being revealed as the grandaddy of all the bubbles that are now popping all over the world. Traditionally the role of “the Fed” has been to “take away the punch bowl right when the party's getting good.” In other words, ease back on credit availability before speculative fever takes hold and price “bubbles” in real estate and other assets begin to form. But Mr. Greenspan tried to keep the party going as long as possible, and now the economy has a doozy of a hangover. Here's to the Bubble Man Drink to his health Filling the punch bowl With bubbling wealth Sure, there's plenty of blame to go around, but if you throw money out of flatbed trucks, you're going to create a mob scene. That is what Mr. Greenspan did by making credit so freely available that anyone with a pulse could borrow money. At the same time, he encouraged everyone to “extract” the equity in their houses by, you guessed it, borrowing more money. So mortgage the future mortgage the past You can spend your self wealthy If you don't do the math Not only that, Bubble Man Greenspan also repeatedly praised the very financial “products,” such as mortgage-backed securities and derivatives, that are now being exposed for the toxic waste that they are. The financial alchemy of these products was supposed to turn crap into gold, but, strangely enough, it didn't happen. At least for you and me. The Hedge Fund operators, derivative hustlers and other purveyors of these fraudulent products have already made off with their billion dollar bonuses. And now we're bailing them out. Here's to the hedgehogs and the weasels and the swine Peddling snake oil in sparkling wine bottles You say Inflation, and I say Deflation… let's call the whole thing off If I loan you a million dollars, you give me an IOU. In the Bubble Man's economy, I could borrow another million using that IOU as “collateral.” You could loan out your million dollars, receive an IOU, and borrow another million, and so on. Soon we're all millionaires. Until someone wants their money back. (There's always a catch.) Me: “Say, do you have that million that I loaned you?” You: “Sorry, I lent it to someone.” Me: “OK. Well, I need to get it, because the guy I borrowed it from says the owner wants it back.” This expansion of credit is called “inflation.” When everyone suddenly realizes they never had a million dollars after all, the result is “deflation.” The new Bubble Man is Ben Bernanke, aka “Son of Bubble Man,” aka “Helicopter Ben,” so named for his promise to drop money out of helicopters to fight deflation. And he is at this moment making good on his promise. The Fed and the government are printing dollars as fast as they can, hoping that they can inflate faster than the economy can deflate. Can they succeed? Not likely, but even if they do, it represents Trillions of dollars of debt for your children and grandchildren. Who can make money out of thin air? Why, the Bubble Man can! But buyer beware… One day your dollar's worth less than a dime Cause bubbles always pop, it's just a matter of time “Dime” rhymes with “time,” but it may not be true that your dollar will be worth less than a dime. When bubbles pop, your dollar will buy more and more, as you may have experienced at the gas pump lately. So my financial advice to anyone who would listen over the last few years is – sell stocks, sell real estate, sell bonds, sell everything and hold onto your cash. In a few years you can buy it all back for pennies on the dollar. Disclaimer: Scott Pettersen is not a licensed financial advisor (thank God!). So I leave you with this general bit of advice: So cover your ears when the Bubble Man speaks Somethin's so fishy the whole country reeks The Emperor's naked, it's more than obscene When the world takes a bubble bath, and no one comes clean “The Bubble Man” © 2007 Newspeak Publishing
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