I’m the nice guy that dies at a young age but not without leaving the world a little trashier than it was before me. I want to be the next Richard Simmons. His hair looks like my pubes. And his studded tank tops look like my..I mean...Ilost a ton of weight just like he did and now I want to help other people do that, too. I also want to tell jokes and make you laugh really hard, so HARD THAT YO BURN CALORIES you lazy, dirty whore! I have been told I am fearless and funny and approachable which is all true. I have not been told I am a raging alcoholic or shifty....in the same sentence.
Website
realsean.livejournal.com
Influences
The sounds of broken dishes and slamming doors, Howard Stern, Augusten Burrows, Vince McMahon, Kathy Griffin, Ellen Degeneres, Davd Cross, Reba McEntire, Maureen Orth, Grandpa Paul, Grandma Ginnie, The board game Monopoly.
Erasure, Stevie Wonder, Wynonna, Reba, Michael Jackson (Pre-Dangerous), Huey Lewis, Prince, Lee Ann Womack, Sam Cook, Marvin Gaye, Dolly Parton, Depeche Mode, Madonna, India.Arie, Kanye West, any drunken Spaniards with a sombrero
Movies
Anything involving farts.
Television
All WWE Programming, Anything CNN, Dexter, Weeds, Dirt, The Comeback
Books
The Color Purple, Dry, Running With Scissors, Dictionary Of Cultural Literacy, Lovely Bones, Where the Sidewalk Ends, Sex Lies and Headlocks
Heroes
Bret "Hitman" Hart, Malcolm X, Rosie O' Donnell, Howard Stern, David Cross, Sam Kinison, Mick "Mankind" Foley, Reba McEntire, My College Speech Teacher, Mr. Belvedere, flight attendents, housekeepers, baristas, and postal workers worldwide
About me:
The previous music video, "Fancy" by Miss Reba Nell McEntire defines me. I like peanut butter and watching pro wrestling. I got fat from combining the two. I’m so over it.
I’m not over anything, actually--except the phrase "over it".. It’s uber-lame. The older I get the more I learn to embrace what I am and ignore what I’m not (Thanks Wynonna Judd’s Live Album). I never know the right thing to say in public which will make you love me, then swiftly hate me. I’m an accidental gay activist, child advocate, and feminist...but I’m not all up in your face about it, but maybe I should be, you asshole. I’m mostly here to look at half-naked pics and tell you when I have a show. The following is the show I REALLY want to be on:
Who I'd like to meet: Angry Grandmas, pretty carnies, side-splitting jews, happy Los Angelenos, butch lesbians, first generation fiipinos, muscular dancers, evil waiters, old-school Folsomites, Boston Terriers, nice guy gays, East Coast Heart Transplants, and crooked liberals...
It's your birthday! Go crazy! Party like a rock star! Or just sit around in your underwear and watch TV (if you choose the latter, you should totally make that your profile picture!)
Oh no!!! I'm sorry you're having car trouble! What's it doing? My dad's a mechanic....I'm good at "guessing" what's wrong, but that's as far as my "talent" in car stuff goes...HA HA!
Hey Sean...how could you start a count down to the end of your 20's??? You just made me realize I don't have years to count by anymore...UGGH...HA HA HA! How are you?
I fell off my bicycle and broke both bones in my arm, and had surgery to align the bones with metal plates!!! Ugg its horrible. getting better though. :)
Thanks for the add! you are truly a positive inspiration for getting healthy! I started my road to health about 4 weeks ago and its nice to know that I am not alone! Thanks for the extra motivation!
Hi Sean! Being that it's Bret's birthday weekend, he wanted me to say hi. I miss him so much and think about him everyday. I know he's been excited about your recent 15 minutes of fame. Loved you on Gladiators. Christyn Marshall says hi, too. CYA!
Dude, i watched you on gladiater the other day!! that shit was FUNNY!! i like how you talked shit about those guys even tho you had only one point!!lol
