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Sebastien Pennyworth III's Interests
General
I am an inveterate polo player, and a general raconteur. I enjoy opera, wines, classical literature, and of course, MMPORPGs. The Pennyworth line has been pwning bitches since 1875, a tradition I'm more than honored to continue!
Music
Though most frequently I enjoy the classical operettas and chamber music, I have been known to dip my metaphorical toes into the popular music of the day. I'm rather fond of one title from the positively smashing group with the charming name of Mindless Self Indulgence. It goes something similar to this:
"Bitches love me 'cause they know that I can rock / Bitches love me 'cause they know that I can rhyme / Bitches love me 'cause they know that I can fuck / Bitches love me cause they know that I'm on time."
Tell me that's not an anthem for the modern state of man. TELL me!
Movies
I'm quite enthused by that Orson Welles chap. He's quite the young sophisticate, and I think he could be...what? He's DEAD?? Well, bloody hell, man! How am I supposed to keep the interest of these young bastards if I can't even relate to their favorite movies? Well, give me something I CAN work with then! What? Fine, fine, whatever.
Did I say Orson Welles? No, no! I rather meant that young Tobey Maguire rip! He's quite the corker! And of course that delectable young firebrand Lindsey Lohan! Oh my...yes. Yes indeed. I'd love to do lines of baking soda right off her scantily clad, rail-thin, sickly skin and bones body any day of the week! What? Baking Soda's NOT a drug? Then what have I been doing with myself all this time?
Television
By now, I suppose you miserable little second-guessers out there are convinced I'd say something smarmy like "Masterpiece Theatre". Well, you're WRONG. I rather enjoy lighting up a FATTY and watching that AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE show or whatever the hell that thing is with the anthropomorphic combo meal on television late at night. If elected into the primaries, I do plan on making that Meatwad fellow my running mate.
Books
Of course, as enthrawled as I am by the great classics of literature--Pliny...Xenophon...Barker--I'm also quite pleased with my OWN work, a soon-to-be-released autobiography: "I'm Not Your Chamois: The True Days of a Puppet-American." Also "The Time Falling Bodies Take to Light" by William Irwin Thompson. An excellent read if I do say so myself.
About me:
My First Campaign Speech!
My Second Campaign Speech!
My Third Campaign Speech!
Greetings, my genetic inferiors! I am Sebastien Pennyworth the Third, and frankly, I'm still rather seething that pop couldn't manage to be a little more original in his selection of names. Honestly, simply because HIS name is Sebastien and his FATHER'S name is Sebastien is no reason to name ME Sebastien!
But I digress.
I have launched this page on your space, or however it is you young people are referring to it...wait...what? It's MYSpace? Well bloody hell, if it's MY space, then shouldn't all these little bastards be paying me RENT? What do you mean that's just the name of the site? So I can't collect back rent? Son of a...wait. I think I've been typing this all this time. Oh well, no help for it now. It's not as though anyone's invented a stupid "remove" key on this blasted keyboard. Closest thing is something called BACKspace and frankly, after that whole MySpace / YourSpace debacle I just went through I'm not about to try BACK space!
At any rate, I have launched this page to inform you, my clear genetic inferiors, that I have started filing all the necessary papers for a run at the Presidency of these United States. Isn't that simply delightful? Finally, after eight years of being lorded over by our "fantastically great chimp leader" clearly out of his element (though I respect him for being the highest elected Puppet-American), you can finally know the joy of being ruled by your genetic superior!
Isn't that as delightful as I claim it to be? Yes, of course it is. Why am I even discussing it with you?
At any rate, join me right here for all the latest Sebastien campaign news--I'll even be joining the debates, somehow, so that'll be something to watch, I can assure you.
Who I'd like to meet:
Who would I like to meat? Did I say MEAT!?!? I meant MEET, yes MEET and in GREET and get to know. Uh ha, ha...*cough* yeah...*ahem* Well, that's very simple, folks; I would like to consume none other than our current president. I say, we need to see MORE "Puppet-Americans" in public office. He denies his heritage, but -by golly- I embrace mine! To you Dubya, I salute!
Candidtate Pennyworth, what are your plans to improve the current economic situation if elected? What are your views on Gay Marrage? How will you handle diplomatic relations with our more contrivercial foreign interests in the Middle East and Asia?
The Puppet Head wishes you much luck in seeking the US Presidency.
Personally, The Puppet Head is either hoping to become the tyrannical dictator of a small tropical island (Bermuda would be great) OR he'd like to be Pope. So President? It's all yours, sir. All yours.
