Secret Pants is a collective, and the essence of Secret Pants is a larger concept (also designated as Secret Pants) that can not and will not quantify its interests in any way, shape or form. Larger concepts do not listen to bands, or watch movies, or read books. Larger concepts do not understand the idea of heroism. They are beyond your realm of understanding, like the movie Tron. The members of the collective Secret Pants do, however, have interests that extend to all of the aforementioned categories. Allow me to summarize those interests here.
Music
We like cool music. Sometimes, it is music that you also like, and sometimes it is music that you have never heard of, and that makes us cooler than you are. Sometimes, we throw in one for camp value, just to show that we’re down with camp.
Movies
We enjoy movies. We agree that Hellboy was made for mentally deficient people, but beyond that, movies are great. Brooke enjoys porn a great deal. The Brians like movies that feature beards.
Books
Books are great... for kids!We're fucking adults! We don't read! This ain't no middle school, motha' fucka'! We ain't in no English class! Keep your Boxcar Children and your Island of The Blue Dolphins where I can see em'. Reck-a-nize.
Heroes
I think we can all agree, generally, on David Sedaris and Bill Murray.
Delaware County Community College
Media,Pennsylvania
Graduated: N/A
Student status: Alumni
Degree: None
Major: staying in school to have health insurance, not work and/or avoid student loan payments
Clubs: Accolades: Self appointed title of "Most Likely To Lay Self"
2002 to 2002
Temple University
Philadelphia,Pennsylvania
Graduated: 2005
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Communications/Broadcasting Telecommunications and Mass Media
Minor: English/Communications/Theory of Mass Media
Clubs: Accolades: Actually Getting Laid
2001 to 2005
Drexel University
Philadelphia,Pennsylvania
Graduated: 2004
Major: Human Resources/Digital Media
Clubs: Accolades: Voted Most Likely To "Get Laid In A Regretful Manner".
Greek:
Pi Lambda Phi
1999 to 2004
West Chester University Of Pennsylvania
West Chester,Pennsylvania
Graduated: 2002
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Communications Studies
Minor: Comparative Literature/Film Criticism
Clubs: Hillel took their complimentary bagel back from Brian after finding out that he, in fact, was not a Jew.
1998 to 2002
Palmyra Area Shs
Palmyra,Pennsylvania
Graduated: 2001
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
Clubs: Aggressive Spectating Club, Drumline of Death Captain, major uber-dork with a minor in radicality.
1997 to 2001
Neshaminy Hs
Langhorne,Pennsylvania
Graduated: 1999
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
1996 to 1999
Moorestown High
Moorestown,New Jersey
Graduated: 2000
Degree: High School Diploma
Clubs: Brooke was more of a sports person in high school, who did Lacrosse, Volleyball, Track (Sprint Medley), and Field Hockey.
1996 to 2000
Catasauqua Shs
Catasauqua, PA
Graduated: 1999
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
1995 to 1999
Springfield Hs
Springfield,Pennsylvania
Graduated: 2001
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
Clubs: Accolades: Voted Most Likely To "Not Get Laid"
Organizations: Campaigns of Disinformation & Student Council.
1995 to 2001
Kennett Hs
Kennett Square,Pennsylvania
Graduated: 1998
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
Clubs: A.A. (Awesome Anonymous)
Who I'd like to meet: Other open-minded, forward thinking individuals who think that misogyny and suicide are hilarious.
And possibly some bukkake girls.
hilarious shit fellas! if i didn't know you all were corpse fuckers, i'd ask where you came up with that. but seriously, really good sketch. you are truly the dirtiest and sickest fucks in this city. and i don't have to tell you, that's saying something.
Can you come out to dinner tomorrow and bring some friends?
Joining in the fight against AIDS is as easy as going out to dinner! One night every year, over 200 participating restaurants throughout the Philadelphia region will be donating 1/3 of their proceeds to local AIDS service organizations, like ActionAIDS.
Not only will you get to participate in a great cause, but you will be entered in a drawing for an all inclusive trip for two to Punta Cana!
This year I will be volunteering at Palace at the Ben so if you make your reservations there on May 1st, I will give you a special gift.
some lady at a produce store, said, and quite randomly,"did you know the ben franklin in philly, married the betsy ross?" I said "no". and then tonight he was on The Colbert Report....as far as i am conerned, he owes all that fame and patriotic poon, to all of you!!!!
Fucking great show at the Shubin! I had a great time, loved all the sketches and loved being on stage during the George Bush/Batman game. Thanks for the shot of whiskey, the candy cane (for Martin Luther King Day) and for all the most awesomest laughs ever!
you putting on any of your cute little shows in february? i'll be cruising around philly town for a month and would love some good wholesome family entertainment during my visit.
Because you're our special little persons, head on over to our page so we can bestoy onto thee a new Holiday Special. Oh, and while you're there, enter the caption contest and win a T-Shirt.
