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THE PENGUINS OF DOOM

The Book

Septina Nash is a 7th grade seventh child with purple hair and a knack for popping up in music videos. After her triplet-sister mysteriously disappears, Septina finds herself stalked by penguins, pursued by a mad scientist, and on the fast track to an Olympic medal in freestyle skateboarding. Along with her more reality-minded triplet-brother, Quinn, Septina hurdles from one adventure to the next: surviving for ten minutes in the worlds most dangerous truck stop, launching a polar expedition, and collecting an enormous amount of empty yogurt containers.

Is it any wonder why she can't complete her math homework on time?

The Penguins Say...

Awk-awk Spots, Stripes, awk Solids (awk-awk) awk-awk-awk THE PENGUINS OF DOOM awk, awk, awk-awk-awk 10/31/07--awk, awk, awawk-awk, awk-awk, awk.*

*(Translation: Look for Spots, Stripes, and Solids (not pictured) in THE PENGUINS OF DOOM at your bookstore on 10/31/07--Yeah, it's kind of a long time away but the printing presses in Antarctica are only unfrozen for three weeks during the summer.)

Pre-Orders

The Penguins of Doom is now available for pre-order from Amazon.com. In the spirit of making your pre-order experience as effective as possible, I'm offering a Penguins of Doom pre-order kit that includes:

1. Penguins of Doom cards with all the information a bookseller would need to place a pre-order for you;
2. An autographed bookplate that can instantly transform an ordinary copy of The Penguins of Doom into an autographed copy;
3. A letter from main-character Septina Nash, thanking you for your purchase; and
4. A chance to win an original Penguins of Doom manuscript page, suitable for framing.

Within the US, just send an envelope addressed to yourself with 41 cents of postage to:

THE PENGUINS OF DOOM
P.O. Box 541401
Waltham, MA 02454-1401

If you want the bookplate signed to a specific person, please spell out the name in your most legible print. The penguins thank you for your support!

The Cover

They say you can't judge a book by its cover, but that's because you're not a judge on the U.S. Supreme Court. Those folks can judge anything they want--book covers, pie-eating contests, and sometimes even laws.

Right at this moment, as you're reading these words, the nine U.S. Supreme Court judges are sitting around their courthouse, rubbing pie-stains from their black robes, reading this blog, and scowling at the cover below. They're trying to figure out whether The Penguins of Doom is a goofy-but-harmless storybook or an alien plot for warping your mind.

From the title, they probably think this book is only about penguins and doom. Too bad they haven't read inside, or they'd also know about the mad scientists, robot doubles, rock stars, skateboards, shrink rays, empty yogurt containers, mysteriously-missing triplets, and other stuff that wouldn't fit in the title.

The judges, seeing that this book's cover looks a bit like a school notebook, must also think that a lot of math homework gets done during the story. Boy are they ever wrong! I didn't get any math homework done while writing this book, and I'm pretty sure you won't get any done while reading it. But don't worry--you'll learn how to write awesome excuse letters and always stay out of trouble, just like me!

Finally, the nine judges of the U.S. Supreme Court will be impressed by the serious and respectable name listed as the book's author: GREG R. FISHBONE. It's a name that screams out, "POWER! CHARM! HANDSOME GOOD LOOKS!" But really, I have no idea who that guy is or how he got his name printed on the cover of my book. Quinn says the publisher must have thought him up as a way to sell more copies.

The letters in this book were all written by me, Septina Nash, at my desk in homeroom, on the school bus before class, or quickly scribbled in a burger joint in Argentina. One was even written in the second-floor girls' bathroom at O.W. Holmes Middle School, third stall from the right. I won't tell you which letter, but you'll totally be able to guess!

After reviewing this cover, I'm sure the judges will say: "We, the judges of the U.S. Supreme Court, nine of the greatest pie-eating champions of all time, find that The Penguins of Doom is a goofy-but-harmless storybook."

Suckers!

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