About me:
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Born June 11, 1987 in Springfield Mass. to Emily and Richard Hanscome, was a female baby, Loretta Lynn Hanscome. She is me!! I have been in foster care most of my life, my foster parents were Betty and Stanley Gray, they had been in the work realm of secondary family for a very long time. I have four siblings, that I know about. Two sisters and two brothers. I recently found my family on the Hanscome side, and in late 2006 I had found my biological mother. My biological father died when I was only a bit over a year old.
I am a very open person, I admit things, and contain very little secrets about my personality or my lifestyle. I am a neat freak. I prefer things to be orderly. I tend to have a pretty low self esteem, though some days it is pretty decent. I can peer in the reflection of the mirror one day and want to cry, while the next day I may think I am pretty ...or at least decent.
My body image is confusing to me. I like sexy clothes, especially when it compliments my form...and other days, or even seconds later I am almost in tears because I think, "eww." I mostly assume I am excessive, which leads to the blunt truth that, throughout my life I have struggled with every eating disorder, exercise disorder, or sleep disorder you can think of...due almost (if not) primarily to my body image. Some days I work on it and think I can move past it, and when I am stuck bored, doing nothing, I retract to my "fat" thoughts. I have noticed though, when I have a busy, active, enjoyable life, I tend to appreciate my life and myself, and this is why I hope to trudge through this difficult time, and make my way to my dreams and goals.
What do I enjoy? Oh, where to begin: writing, drawing, collages,photography, walking (especially in the evening time), tossing the football, playing sports...although I am not always the greatest, swimming, cleaning, dancing, and singing. When watching television I can be rather picky, because television is not really a guilty pleasure of mine. Music is! When I do commit to the indulgence of television I have a preference of comedy, horror, or true documentaries.
Musically, I love it all really. Favorites depend on my mood...my emotions; however pop, hip hop, and country are my never failing favorites.
Dancing is a huge love of mine. I really look up to NSYNC, Britney Spears, Janet Jackson, Michael Jackson, Jessica Alba, and many other dancers.
I love song writers, like Jewel, Ashlee Simpson, Bob Dylan, and many more. I believe lyricists are poets, with rhythm winds wrapped around the body of words.
/>---MY CHILD---
==============
Breathe so soft.
Feathered air
brushing your lungs.
Your angelic wings spread,
as your song is sung,
into the silence of my soul.
Your blue eyes will be wide,
and your skin will be silk,
and your breath will become the wind
of brilliant milk.
The clouds of heaven will settle
like cotton beneath your pubescent head,
and your stomach delicately
and gingerly fed.
You will be developing cautiously
to the life,
which carelessly,
exists outside your silent realm.
I will love you sincerely
whether you are a her or a him.
I will brush your fine hair
against your supple skin,
and show you I care,
and hold you within,
my trembling hands.
I will count your toes,
and your fingertips,
examine your nose, eyes,
and tiny lips...
to see who it is
you resemble the most.
Your father,
or your nine month host.
I will smile as I search
the tender features
of your fresh birth,
and listen to your cry
and be proud you
finally arrived.
Copyright 2008 © Loretta Hanscome, All rights reserved


---UN BIRTHED CHILD---
======================
My eyes they are open,
opened so wide,
unselfishly and ready
for the beautiful surprise...
of you
and when you arrive.
My hands they tremble
and they quake,
as I sit, ponder,
and await...
all that you will be.
My belly now rises soft
to every minute you grow,
and my mind whirls in fear,
containing all that I do not know...
Yet I still believe,
that I can be
the mother you need...
so arrive safely...
This I plead.
Here I am my child
awaiting your arrival.
Yes, my precious, angelic,
un birthed child.
Copyright 2008 © Loretta Hanscome, All rights reserved
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Comments
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Aug 24 2009 8:47 PM
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