sherry Clyburn

About me:

I am the mother of three adult children, and a grand-mother of seven children. I went from a childhood full of abuse into a 17 year relationship, chalked with heartache, betrayal, and overflowing with domestic violence.

Until I got away from my ex-husband, my motto was

After 5 1/2 years of alone time, I met a wonderful man who has helped me to gain dignity and some respect for the fine person that I am. He treats me like I matter. He has helped me to understand that I am a worthwhile person and he shows me that I am a lady who deserves to be loved. We have been together for 3 years.

I will soon be a published author of a book titled; Shadows of Silence. A book about abuse. Hurray!!!

Creating my book has blessed my life in many ways; however the greatest blessing I have received was an ability to embrace my life in a different and a more positive manner. My book has allowed me to step out from behind the Shadows of Silence that prevented me from speaking about what I have endured in my life. Along the way I learned some valuable lessons. The first is to never give up on your dreams because sometimes they do come true.

The second was that by looking at the painful events from my past, my healing journey has began. I still have issues to look at and I still have some healing to do, but the important thing is that I am on the right road.

and chances are others will too.

I agree with the words in the song, "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brooks. If we pray and our prayers come true, then it is meant to be. On the other hand if they do not come true, it is for a reason. Sometimes we get discouraged when our prayers go unanswered, but then a time will arrive that you will actually be thankful that your prayer was not answered.

Due to the abuse I have been exposed to, I have built protective walls that have sheltered me from living life, which merely allowed me to exist. Slowly my walls are coming down and I am letting people get to know me so that I can get to know them too.

Betrayals and bad experiences led me to mistrust people in general. I realize that the new people that enter my life are not the people from my past. New people deserve my trust until, if they ever, give me a reason not too trust. If I hadn't learned this I'd have continued to carry on in the loneliness that I wallowed in for too many years. Being lonely does not allow a good quality of life.

Child and abuse should not be in one sentence.

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What you are about watch is very graphic. It is an example of two people who knew that a child was being abuse. They did not make that crucial call. And now; they will deal with the consequences for the rest of their lives. Before you start watching this video, you need to grab some Kleenex.

The Murder of Baby Briana (Graphic) (Update with sentences in descriptio...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PztTA5EVGQU

If you know or you suspect child abuse, and you choose NOT to report it, you are contributing to this child's abuse. Seriously one does not know if a parents anger will reach the point of no return and as a result this child will loose their precious life. While this may seem drastic to think about; it can easily become a reality, then what? If you suspect abuse, and decide against making that call, honestly, can you live, guilt free, if this child's abuse is fatal, knowing that you could have saved this child's life?

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"NOTHING BUT TROUBLE vs. IN TROUBLE: I truly believe in circumstances where children exhibit behavior such as lying, stealing, being argumentative, violent, or staying out all night, running away, etc... Some people will insinuate, “This kid is nothing but trouble.” What we often fail to observe is that kid, in all actuality is sending a wordless message. He or she is saying, "Hey, I'm in trouble here! Emotional trouble that is."

Believe it or not, this child is probably not feeling really good inside. Maybe this child, does not know how to put their feelings into words and he or she is trying to ask for help through their behavior. Although you may feel like yelling; you must find it in your heart, to remember, what this child probably needs more then anything else is some T.L.C.

when you were just a little kid, did you ever hear one of your parents say:

"You're ugly!"

"You dummy!"

"You're stupid!"

"You're an idiot!"

"You're worthless!"

"You're pathetic!"

"You don't know how to do anything right!"

So many times during my life, when I have done something as minor and as careless as say, spill a glass of milk. A healthy person would just kind of sluff it off. Me on the other hand, I would beat myself up over it. It was like an echo with-in me would shout, "stupid, idiot, etc..."

A friend of mine witnessed me say these words aloud and commented, "Sherry, you're so hard on yourself. Sometimes you're, your own worst enemy."

And now that I have commenced my healing process, I can see she was correct; I do tend to be critical of myself. P style="MARGIN-TOP: 4px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 4px" align=center>
If we can be brainwashed into believing that we are not a worthwhile person, we can also talk ourselves into thinking more positively about ourselves. While this will not happen overnight, we need to have self talks with ourselves. When ever we hear that little voice inside our heads, that so many abused people hear, we need to repeat something like, "Stop it! I'm not dumb. I'm not stupid. I do lots of things right."

SECRETS: I carried the weight of secrets upon my soul because I was ashamed. I could not bear the thought of people judging, criticizing, or deeming me as a bad person. I felt as if I were the one who did something wrong.

I am thankful that I have outgrow the victim role. After years of keeping my abuse a secret, I have come to the realization that those secrets were NEVER my secrets to cover up. I, an innocent child, trusted the adults who betrayed my trust.

My abusers not only abused me, they also brain washed me into believing that "we", did something wrong.

I now understand that there is no such thing as "we" when it comes to abuse. I did nothing to entice or to encourage my abuser’s to abuse me. My abusers did their violations with-out help, all by themselves. They alone, did the wrong doing. I had no part of it.

I no longer spent my time feeling like a victim and too afraid to use my voice. I no longer walk among others looking at the ground, feeling too humiliated to look up.

I am happy to say that the shame as well as the blame for my abuse, has been returned to its' rightful owners; the abuser's. In my heart, I know that I am a survivor.”

There are days that I wake up feeling happy. I look into a mirror and I smile. It's a great feeling to want to plan my day, whereas before I used to wake up and dread the day that was before me.

Some days, I even get the vision of standing among a crowd of people, "I am not a victim. I am a survivor." BUT then I decide against it because I get the vision of someone phoning the cops and me being carted off to the loony bin. lol

I may not be overly proud of my past and the mistakes that I have made along the way, but, I am certainly satisfied with to be the person that I have grown to be today.

So many of us can testify that

True Innocence & Beauty

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Just because child abuse happens in private doesn't mean it is private!

For those who have come to my site, I wish you love, peace and
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A Must See To Believe, Fantastic Resource

I have to say; I have personally been to over 10,000 website and this site has one of the most extensive resource lists that I have ever come across. It is designed for men, however there are many, many email and postal address for women too. You will find book titles, articles, poetry, and much more........ Please click here to visit their site ---> http://www.mensstuff.org/

I never ask people to agree or disagree with me, however I do need others to respect me for me. I believe, I live my life my way and you live your life your way.

I am not a religious person who attends church but I do agree with the phrase, Do onto to others, etc... I find that it is sometimes difficult to not judge, criticize, or to say mean things to and about other people and I guess I expect that from others towards me.

Since I have had my children, I do not recall a day that I have not said the Serenity Prayer. This is an easy prayer to remember. It helps me through each day, especially when I come across circumstances that I wish were different but there is nothing at that moment that I can do to change it. This simple prayer helps me to be more accepting of whatever is upsetting me. An example would be, I have to rely on others or on public transportation to get me to the places I want to go. Right now, I cannot do anything about it but, one day I will have my drivers license and a car. It will not be today, tomorrow, and it will not be the next day, but one day. And until that one day, I need to have patience.

My boyfriend has taught me something very important..... Because I am somewhat of a perfectionist, sometimes when I set out to do something, such as a craft project, and it does not quite turn out the way I envisioned, I become disappointed and frustrated. My boyfriend has been with me when this has happened. He just kind of looks at me and he will ask,"Did you try your best?" I reply yes, Then he says, Well that's all you can do. He has a motto, "Do your best. Be your best." For some reason, his words always come to mind and they have helped me in many situations.

SOMETHING I AM BELIEVE IN............ I will never break a confidence. The way I see it, if someone has put trust and faith in me, to tell me something they need to get off their mind, then, I choose to never let that person feel regret for confiding in me. Well I should not say never, there are two instances that I will break a confidence. One is if they discuss suicide and the other is if they are abusing a child.

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