I welcome ye to me new blog. It be a place to come for all sorts o' information about the most important subject: Shoes. What type to be wearing, how to be maintaining them, and most importantly the best way to be shoeing people with them.
Aye, that's a fine shine.
Aye, zat tis a fine shoe indeed, but it is missing sumthing....... ah a sock is missing!
What's the best method of holding your shoes together across your feet? Laces, Velcro or Buckles? Or another supersecret goblin method I have forgot?
I hate shoes... trainers are better. (this isn't entirely true, but thought I'd envoke the rage of the goblin, plus maybe earn myself a shoeing from the master shoe-er himself!)
It would indeed be an honour to be shoed by such a shine.
Shoe...shines so bright! Can't look away! Retinas...burning!
Stand ye humble in the face o' the mighty power o' the shoe!