I am watching you read my book!
OPRAH & BARBARA .. YES YOU WERE MISTRESSES!
READ A LITTLE OF MY LETTER TO OPRAH AND BARBARA (THE VIEW) regarding their comments that they were never "mistresses" even though they both admitted to affairs with married men! I LOVE both of them ... and if they had affairs, that was their business ... but I was irritated with their DENIALS that they were ever "mistresses."
(Turn to Page 410) … I was looking at a talk show, which has been popular for many years, and is hosted by a VERY SUCCESSFUL woman. Her guest on the show was another VERY SUCCESSFUL woman who has a talk show, who has interviewed very prominent people throughout her stellar career and was out promoting her autobiography. In her book, the guest wrote about the salacious fact that years ago she had an affair with a married senator of another race. The host asked her if she was this man’s “mistress.” The guest said no, that she was not his mistress because she took care of herself and he didn’t do anything for her financially. The guest then asked the host, who has admitted in the past to ALSO having a relationship with a married man, if the host was that man’s mistress. The host then, in an arrogant and elitist way, whooped: “Honey I ain’t NEVER been taken care of by no man!” The two women then smugly cackled as they told how the married men THEY dealt with had spent weekends and holidays with them, was always over their house and had told their wives they wanted a divorce.
This is what I wanted to tell those two successful women who BOTH admitted that they had affairs with married men, but EACH had a problem using the word “mistress” because they felt they were in a different, more “special” category than women who deal with married men for money and other resources:
“First of all, I totally respect both of you as successful career women and I applaud your professional accomplishments. However, I must express my disagreement with your arrogant distaste of using the word “mistress” in applying it to your actions when you dealt with married men. When the host said, “Honey, I ain’t never been taken care of by no man!” … first of all, maybe no man ever WANTED to take care of you so, of course you had to make sure you could take care of yourself. Second of all, to me, that statement was a slap in the face to all the stay-at-home moms who sit and watch your talk show while they take care of the house and kids and their man or husband financially takes care of them. Third of all, while the two of you debated that you were NEVER anybody’s mistress, this is what I wanted to say to you:
Whether or not you have a problem with the word “mistress” when applying it to yourself … whether or not you two mega-powers feel you’ve never been a married man’s mistress because he didn’t financially take care of you because you did THAT yourself … get off your high horse. YOU WERE STILL GIVING YOUR COOCH TO A MARRIED MAN, the same as “mistresses.” IF YOU WEREN’T GETTING ANYTHING FOR IT, WELL, I HATE TO SAY IT BUT … THAT’S YOUR DUMB ASS! I don’t care WHO you gave your cooch to because, after all, it’s your cooch, but don’t be snooty and arrogant about it. You were still f*cking a married man so don’t put on airs.
What further irritated me was your elitist way of saying how your “cheating married man” was over your house some weekends and holidays, as if, even though you were dealing with a married man, you were somehow “special.” Sweethearts, a married man will STAY over your house weekends when his wife is out of town on trips. He’ll STAY over your house holidays when his wife takes the kids to visit her family because he doesn’t like her family and doesn’t want to be around them. He wasn’t over your house holidays and weekends because of YOU; he was over there then because it was convenient for him at that moment and it was of some benefit to HIM. He was throwing you some little crumb of extra attention to make you feel “special” so you would keep giving up the cooch. He had to protect his “drama-free” cooch that he didn’t have to do sh*t for.
Then you said, “he was hardly at home with his wife cos he was always over my house.” I’m sure he was. I’d be over your house too if you were feeding me all the time and handing me the remote control and tip-toeing around making sure everything was “comfortable” for me. Everybody knows that a married man will chill over your house and make you think you’re getting this “extra,” “special” attention … while he (1) uses up your utilities (and offers to give you a “little $omething to help you with them,” which you decline because you “take care of yourself,” (2) eats up your food (because when he finally does show up with a bag of groceries, he knows you’re going to praise him for being so “thoughtful”), (3) watches with amusement how you spend your money on lingerie and sex toys to show him what a sexual hot tamale you are while trying to convince him what he’s “missing” at home, (4) vigorously tears up your cooch like he ain’t never had a cooch before, (5) pretends to be interested in your day … AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT keep hounding him with, “you’re over here all the time. When are you going to leave your wife and marry me?” That’s when that bitch will back off and you’ll see less and less of him “at your house.”
And remember when BOTH OF YOU SMART CAREER WOMEN were saying your married man told you he went home and asked his wife for a divorce? Unless you were a fly on the wall or sitting in the room listening to him talk to his wife, how do you know this? Um, let me guess. Your cheating married man told you this and you believed him. HELLOOOO? Of COURSE a married man is going to tell you he’s asking his wife for a divorce. Everybody KNOWS he does that to “placate” you and shut up your “when are you leaving her?” questions for a while. He HAS to make you feel special, he HAS to make you feel like you’re the kind of woman that a man would leave his wife for, he HAS to keep you hanging in there and making you feel like cheating with him is worth it to you because otherwise he knows you will begin to feel like you’re wasting your time and finally wise up and move on.
As I say all the time: all you EVER know is what HE tells you and I would have a HARD and IMPOSSIBLE time believing ANYTHING a cheating married man would have to say. After all, it’s in his NATURE to lie. His whole “cheating on his wife” world depends on his LYING. And you two have the NERVE to be on TV preening because your married men told y’all they asked their wives for a divorce so they could be with y’all. I hate to say this but … for all of the preening about your specialness, for all of his “staying over,” for all of you “taking care of yourself” and him not doing anything for you but giving you sex … for all of your arrogant “airs” … your cheating married man NEVER MARRIED EITHER OF YOU. You gave away your cooch and years of your life because you were hoping he would leave his wife and get with you. And it didn’t happen. So, how does that make you BETTER than a woman that’s dealing with him for the money and things? How does that make you have the nerve to “bristle” when somebody tried to classify you as a “mistress?” Why do you put yourself on a higher pedestal than a “mistress?” Because you weren’t taken care of by a married man? You’re right, you weren’t. You were USED and emotionally HUSTLED by a married man. At least the mistress has something to show for her time spent with a cheating married man.
I still applaud the two of you professionally but I just needed to let you know that I felt the statements you made on that show were absolutely ridiculous. But, your statements also show that you’re human too because even though you are professionally successful, you still make dumb personal decisions just like the rest of us. Much love. ”
THIS BOOK HAS A CHEATING ENCYCLOPEDIA: Everything You Wanted To Know About Married Men Who Cheat But Was Afraid To Ask ...
*****BE RELATIONSHIP-SMARTER!
BUY THIS BOOK NOW! BUY THIS BOOK NOW! TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS BOOK! BUY THIS BOOK NOW! BUY THIS BOOK NOW! TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS BOOK! BUY THIS BOOK NOW! BUY THIS BOOK NOW! BUY THIS BOOK NOW! TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS BOOK!
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This is me, London, SistaGirl #1 interviewing hip hop artists! I had my chardonnay and was OUT OF CONTROL chewing that bubble gum! My book is the greatest relationship book on the freakin' planet. Did you order it yet?!
"Today's woman is independent, has her own house and car and says she "doesn't need a man for anything, cos she can do it all herself." She's smart in her career but a dumba*, an easy hustle and weak when it comes to relationships. This book teaches you the truth so you can make better man choices ... so you can stop being naive, stop being hustled and STOP BLAMING MEN! After you follow the guidance in this book, I guarantee you will NEVER be sexually, emotionally and financially hustled again. Unless you choose to be."
THIS BOOK SAVED ME!!! IT MADE ME RELATIONSHIP-SMARTER AND RELATIONSHIP-STRONGER! IT IS MY PRAYER THAT IT WILL SAVE YOU TOO!
Who I'd like to meet:
This is my book, "Thank God For Golddiggers, Hoochies and Hoes: Maybe The Rest Of You B*tches Can Learn Something" It is the GREATEST relationship book on the planet! GET YOUR COPY!
WHO TAUGHT YOU ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS? NO ONE DID? DON'T WORRY.
THIS BOOK IS 34 LESSONS ABOUT MEN, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS I GUARANTEE YOUR NICE, SWEET MAMA, YOUR RELIGION, YOUR COLLEGE EDUCATION AND YOUR "GOOD JOB" COULDN'T TEACH YOU!
IF YOU'RE TIRED OF DEALING WITH THE WRONG MEN AND YOU WANT BETTER RELATIONSHIPS ...
463 PAGES OF PURE FIRE!
GET THIS BOOK AND YOU WON’T MAKE ANY MORE RELATIONSHIP MISTAKES … UNLESS YOU CHOOSE TO!
DON’T YOU WISH SOMEONE HAD TAKEN THE TIME TO
SIT DOWN AND TEACH YOU ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS?
If They Had, You Probably Wouldn’t Have Made HALF Of The “Man Choices” and Relationship Mistakes You Made! Well, FINALLY, Here It Is!! A 463 Page “Relationship Bible” That Will Guide And Educate You So That You Won’t Make Any More Relationship Mistakes … Unless You Choose To!
Introducing … the GREATEST Relationship Book On The Planet …
THANK GOD FOR GOLDDIGGERS, HOOCHIES & HOES:
Maybe The Rest Of You B*tches Can Learn Something!
CHAPTERS IN THIS BOOK:
#1–HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO FOR SOME GOOD "RICHARD?"
#2–DON'T ASK ME TO HAVE PHONE SEX WITH YOU WHEN I DON'T EVEN LIKE "REAL" SEX WITH YOU
#3–DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST TIME BUYING CONDOMS?
#4–HOW TO MAKE A BOOTY CALL
#5–WHAT DO YOU THINK OF A MAN WHO TAKES YOU TO A "GAY GUY" CLUB? BUT ON THE FIRST DATE?
#6–SHOULD A BROTHA GIVE A WOMAN LINGERIE HE BOUGHT FROM A CRACKHEAD?
#7–JUST BECAUSE THEY MAKE CONDOMS IN A SIZE MAGNUM DOES NOT MEAN EVERY MAN CAN WEAR THEM!
#8–DON'T BRING ME MY BRANDY IN A WASHED OUT MILK JUG!
#9–CAN ANY OF YOU SEXY BROTHAS FIX THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL?
****EXCERPT FROM “Can Any Of You Sexy Brothas Fix The Garbage Disposal?”
(Turn to Page 62) … And, that’s why I say that some of us are OVER-USING that, “I got my own money. I don’t need a man for sh*t!” yakking to the point where some of us are constantly finding ourselves alone! I know that you throw this in a man’s face out of spite, (and to hurt him during an argument) but, word to the wise … if he’s a GOOD man, you need to chill on that. Relax a bit. You need to learn the art of “running things at your job,” but not “obviously, forcefully and dictator-ly” “running things in your relationships.” If you don’t learn this art, you will continue making the mistake of letting a GOOD MAN (not a hustler) slip through your fingers. You’re losing some good men, not because they are intimidated by you being a strong woman, but because you (a) continue rubbing in his face how you don’t need him to do nothing for you cos you make more money; and (b) you keep putting him on timelines and ordering him around like you do the folks at your job. (I know that men are not innocent and sometimes they take their sweet time doing things you asked them TWO WEEKS ago to do … but I’ve seen many good relationships where compromise and communication … (instead of, “I make more money than you, I’ll get somebody else to do what I want NOW cos it’s taking you too damn long” or “We’re getting married in six months or ELSE!) would have saved a good relationship.)
TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER ...
#10–ARE BUSTAS DRIVING WOMEN TO ... WOMEN?
****EXCERPT FROM “Are Bustas Driving Women To … Women?”
(Turn to Page 70) … If you are a female who is on the verge of getting with a woman because you think women are nicer, softer, kinder, more understanding, will treat you better and you won’t get your heart hurt by a woman, well, I’m telling you right now, you are setting yourself up to be HURT IN A MAJOR, CATASTROPHIC WAY! Here’s why.
(Turn to page 71) … I want you to really THINK about this next point: ALL of us have loved a busta or two (or three, four or five for those of you who learn slowly) and been hurt by him. Some of us wise up and love smarter. But if you KEEP gravitating to MEN WITH BAD BEHAVIOR, don’t you think that you are going to gravitate to FEMALES WITH BAD BEHAVIOR too? And when that FEMALE hurts you, you will FEEL THE HURT EVEN WORSE because you thought that if you got with a woman, SHE wouldn’t hurt you. That sh*t is going to be PAINFUL to you! It’s like your wonderful little bubble is going to BLOW UP in your face! It is going to HURT you to your core and DEVASTATE you because now you have nothing else to believe in. You have now been hustled and hurt by both male AND females! THAT’S why I said earlier that you are setting yourself up to be HURT IN A MAJOR, CATASTROPHIC WAY.
TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER ...
#11–SHOULD A WOMAN BE FREAKY OR CONSERVATIVE THE FIRST TIME?
#12–STOP STARING AT ME AND SAY HI!
#13–WHAT IF YOUR COOCH COULD TALK:
“Introducing Miss Cooch … Who Is In A Sex Drought”
#14–WHAT IF YOUR COOCH COULD TALK: “Miss Cooch Dates A Hip Hop Star”
****EXCERPT FROM “What If Your Cooch Could Talk: “Miss Cooch Dates A Hip Hop Star”
(Turn to Page 99) Miss Cooch: Oh, London, wait a minute before you go. I forgot to tell you to tell your readers that when their friends DO call them bitching about their trifling man and how he ain’t doing this or that, just LISTEN to the friend bitch and moan. But, DON’T join her in tearing down her man!
L,SG#1: (puzzled) Why can’t I talk about her loser of a man?
Miss Cooch: London, if your friend always talks to you about her trifling man … if she’s always complaining to you that he’s not doing this or that … and then, LATER ON DOWN THE ROAD, he does something sweet and she’s back in love with him again … and then YOU say, “How’s that trifling dog of a man of yours? He get a job and stop leeching off of you yet?” … your friend is going to defend HIM and be mad at you for putting her man down! It doesn’t matter that SHE was the one running to you complaining about all of his shortcomings. When she ain’t mad at him anymore, and he’s looking good in her eyes again, she doesn’t want YOU tearing him down! She doesn’t want YOU tearing him down unless SHE is! So, listen to your friend vent but don’t participate! Cos, as I said, once she stops venting and bitching and is back all lovey-dovey with him again … and then YOU say something negative about him … she’ll get prickly and MAD at you! Don’t let her pull you all the way into her drama cos her drama will change! She’ll forgive HIM and want to put YOU “in check.” HE’S giving her that “love” feeling and d*ck. You’re NOT! Speaking of d*ck, good-bye London! I’m going to get ME some!
#15–WHAT IF YOUR COOCH COULD TALK: “Miss Cooch Buys A BMW®”
#16–WHY GUY WOLVES HUNT DOWN NICE CHURCH GIRLS
#17–MAYBE YOUR PROBLEM IS NOT MEN. MAYBE YOUR PROBLEM IS YOU.
****EXCERPT FROM “Maybe Your Problem Is Not Men. Maybe Your Problem Is You.”
(Turn to Page 120)… SistaGirls, sometimes we women want to blame all of our failed relationships on the man. WE want a “problem free” man … but we’ve got MORE issues and drama going on than a terrorist warzone! We’re constantly whining about finding a “good man” when WE haven’t spent time working on ourselves so that we can present HIM with a “good woman” when we find him!
Sometimes we think that because we’re financially independent, got a good job, house, car, etc. that WE HAVE GOT IT GOING ON … but when a man spends time with us and probes beneath our “dressed in the latest fashions and the cutest shoes” surface, he finds a VOLATILE, UNSTABLE, INSECURE WRECK! He finds an emotional “hot mess.” Then, when he leaves us, we want to belittle HIM and tell our friends, “obviously he is intimidated by a strong woman,” when, in all honesty, he just doesn’t want to deal with your anxieties and your foolishness.
Sometimes when we meet a man, we’ve got a 20-PAGE (front and back!) LIST of things of what WE’RE looking for, and what HE has to do, and what WE expect from him … but we either HAVE NO LIST … or we IGNORE and NEGLECT the list of things we need to work on for OURSELVES. We always want our man to change … we always see WRONG in our man … but we see nothing wrong with ourselves. We can spend all DAY nagging at our man about what HE is lacking, about what HE needs to work on but, IF … (and that’s a VERY BIG “IF”) we spend a SECOND looking at ourselves … we end up patting ourselves on the back because, hey, WE GOT IT GOING ON!!!
Let me ask you this. If you’ve REALLY “got it going on” … why are you constantly alone or your relationships don’t last past five minutes? If you’ve really “got it going on” … why do the “good” men leave you after they get to know you … and you’re left to quietly wonder “why doesn’t anyone WANT me?” If you’ve really “got it going on” … why do the “filled with drama, don’t-know-how-to-treat-a-woman” men RUN AFTER you; like you’re a MAGNET for them? If you’ve really “got it going on” … why do you constantly find yourself “hooking up with” and trying to exist in a “relationship(?)” with a guy who is married, or living with a woman or who just views you as a booty call … and who wouldn’t even BE with you if you didn’t have a big booty or money? If you’ve really “got it going on” … why do you always find yourself “settling” with the type of man who is just with you because he is hustling you? Hmmm.
Maybe you DON’T “got it going on” as well as you think you do.
So … TODAY we are going to STOP looking for a good man and START looking for a good YOU. ALL WE’RE GOING TO FOCUS ON IN THIS LESSON IS “ARE YOU A GOOD YOU?” Because once you’ve gotten your OWN sh*t together, you won’t have to forever be LOOKING for a good man. You will be able to ATTRACT one because he will FIND YOU … and, after he gets to know you, he will LOVE what he has found … and he will want to STAY with you.
This is what we are going to do in this lesson: WE ARE GOING TO DISSECT THE HELL OUT OF OURSELVES! We are going to inspect and analyze (1) who we are on the INSIDE, (2) our BODY, (3) our BODY LANGUAGE, (4) our CONVERSATION and ATTITUDE, (5) our KISS and (6) how we EMOTIONALLY SABOTAGE our relationships.
In this lesson, we are only going to look at ourselves. (I am not saying that men don’t have issues because they DO. But … THIS lesson is not about them, it is about US.) We are not going to focus on advice and criticisms as to what a man ought to do. We are not going to have a “things you need to work on,” “TO DO” LIST for our man. The “things you need to work on,” “TO DO” LIST is for OURSELVES, for what WE need to work on and change. Yikes! Focusing on and FACING ourselves … it’s going to be a long, hard and painful road; an emotional journey. But … we will walk it together.
TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER ...
#18–IF YOU LOST YOUR JOB AND WERE GOING TO BE PUT OUT OF YOUR HOME THE NEXT DAY (WITH YOUR KIDS) … AND YOU COULDN'T GET THE MONEY FROM ANYONE … WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH A GUY YOU HAD NO FEELINGS FOR TO GET THE $$$$$ OR WOULD YOU AND YOUR KIDS JUST BE "PUT OUT IN THE STREET?”
#19–STOP BRINGING YOUR GOOD BOOTY CALLS TO THE FAMILY BREAKFAST TABLE! (Includes the “How To Tell If A Man Wants A Relationship Or If He Is Just Trying To Hustle You” Test!)
******EXCERPT FROM “Stop Bringing Your Good Booty Calls To The Family Breakfast Table!"
(Turn to Page 174) 3. WHEN YOU HOOKED UP WITH HIM, HOW QUICKLY DID HE START ASKING YOU FOR STUFF?
How quickly did your guy start coming to you with his financial problems? How quickly did he ask you for a loan, pay it back on time, then ask you for another loan that he doesn’t pay back because he gives you a million excuses that you sympathetically understand? How quickly does he start hinting around and then outright ASKING you to buy him things? How quickly do you jump on in there and start buying them? Why does he even THINK that you are going to buy him a cellphone or clothes or give him money to pay his delinquent parking tickets or back child support? Shouldn’t he be helping YOU out?
The reason he feels totally comfortable in asking you for stuff, and knowing that you are going to give it to him is because you have already demonstrated to him that you are going to “do” for him and he does not have to do sh*t for you. Go back to Number 1.
Remember when you started off buying all of his drinks? Remember when he NEVER reciprocated? Remember how you bragged that a man doesn’t have to do anything for you because you can do it all for yourself? Remember how you jumped on in there to date an unemployed man? Unemployed means “no money,” so obviously he knows that you are dating him because YOU have money and won’t be asking for it from him. Remember how you overly UNDERSTAND all of the problems he brings to you? Remember how he uses your car but doesn’t put gas in it? Remember how you don’t ask him to pay for dinner, that you always quickly pick up the check so that he does not feel “embarrassed,” or “less than a man?” Remember how you don’t make him bring over a loaf of bread when he comes over your house, all the time looking in your refrigerator? THAT’S why he knows he can leech off of you. But, hey, I know you don’t mind taking care of him financially because he takes care of you sexually. Girl, I ain’t hating on you cos that’s your business! (THAT STILL DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD BE MOVING HIM INTO YOUR HOUSE WITH YOUR KIDS!!)
Oh, let me further tell you THIS: If a man starts asking you for money, and he KNOWS that you are taking it from your bill money (because you have told him) and he still keeps asking and pressuring you for it and, once you LOAN it to him, he does not replace or “pay back” the money so that you can pay that bill, then THAT MAN IS HUSTLING YOU. Read the following sentences over and over again because they are kinda long but I want you to understand what I’m saying to you:
“If a man LOVES YOU, he is NOT going to ask you for money and when you tell him all the money you have is for the electricity bill and the lights go out on Tuesday, he still TAKES the money and DOESN’T REPLACE IT ON TUESDAY. And then he has YOU scrambling around to your friends and family asking for the money to pay the light bill while HE (if he DOES bother showing up or answering his phone) offers you nothing but an EXCUSE as to why he couldn’t get the electricity bill money back to you in time.”
A man that CARES about you (and your mental well-being and the well-being of your kids and household) knows that EXCUSES don’t pay sh*t. A man that LOVES and CARES ABOUT YOU, a man that is in a RELATIONSHIP with you is not going to ask you for the bill money so that he can do something selfish and frivolous, like go out drinking and hanging out with his buddies or using YOUR money to buy lap dances.
But I’m going to jump on YOU more than I am that man. If you HAVE money and you’re taking care of a man, well, that’s your business. But if you’re a single mother and you have kids, and you’re already struggling, YOU DON’T TAKE YOUR BILL MONEY TO GIVE TO NO MAN! If your lights go out because YOU gave the electric bill money to that man, and you and your kids are sitting in the living room blinking your eyes and trying to adjust to the got-damn DARK, I blame YOU. There’s not enough “D” or LOVE (yes, I said it!) in the world for you and your kids to be feeling around in the dark, bumping into furniture, trying to find a candle. And if you let a man sweet-talk you out of your BILL money, (not your “EXCESS” money, or your “PLAY” money or your “PUT ASIDE FOR A RAINY DAY” extra money, but your BILL money) you are a “RELATIONSHIP DUMBASS!” Yes, that sounds harsh. But if we can talk about the man for hustling you, then we can also talk about YOU for being a fool and allowing yourself to be hustled. I know how it feels to love and want a man but, girl, don’t be nobody’s fool. Don’t get pulled into the got-damned gutter for nobody and NEVER love a man more than you love yourself. If you do, trust me, you’ll PAY for that mistake later. But, oh well! Sometimes we have to live and learn!
#20–IF I DO "IT" ON THE FIRST DATE, WILL HE CALL ME AGAIN?
*****EXCERPT FROM “If I Do “It” On The First Date, Will He Call Me Again?”
(Turn to Page 223) … After You Have That GREAT CONFIDENT Sex, Don’t Turn Into A Desperate, Clingy Chick! You were a sexually confident woman that had uninhibited sex on the first date. Now, mentally “dismiss” him. Don’t lie in bed looking at this “one night stand,” this “sex on the first date guy” with an “are we gonna have a relationship?” wistful, hopeful, longing in your eyes. Guys start to run from that “I want to build something with you” look in your eyes after you’ve had first date sex. It makes them nervous and anxious! STOP looking at him like he’s the one you want to set a wedding date with! STOP envisioning him in a tuxedo. STOP rushing sh*t! (Maybe guys don’t call you back because they were beginning to feel trapped or cornered by the “can we have a relationship or wedding?” look on your face. It’s too soon for that!!)
As he gets dressed, don’t ask him, “WHEN, WHEN, WHEN are you going to call me again?” “WHEN, WHEN, WHEN are we going to get together again?” Don’t waste your time (and food) running into the kitchen cooking him pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. Don’t start washing and ironing his crumpled clothes. You look like you’re “nesting” or trying to show him your domesticated side. You look like you’re trying to show him that … if he would just CALL you again … this is what life would be like if y’all were together! He ain’t the one to show your domesticated side to … at least not yet!
TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER ...
#21–HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN THE TIME TO FIND OUT WHY YOU KEEP GOING FROM ONE BAD RELATIONSHIP TO ANOTHER?
*****EXCERPT FROM “Have You Ever Taken The Time To Find Out WHY You Keep Going From One Bad Relationship To Another?”
(Turn to Page 234) … IT HURTS WHEN YOU DO NOT ENJOY SEX AND YOU DON’T WANT TO DO IT. IT HURTS WHEN YOU ONLY DO IT TO PLEASE SOMEONE ELSE’S NEEDS AND DESIRES. IT HURTS WHEN YOU FEEL YOU GET NOTHING PLEASURABLE FROM IT. IT HURTS WHEN YOU DON’T SPEAK UP ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT, ABOUT WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE DONE TO YOU. IT HURTS WHEN YOU WANT TO YELL, “YOU MORON, I HATE WHEN YOU DO THAT! WHY DON’T YOU LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TELL YOU HOW TO PLEASE MY BODY! IT’S MY BODY! DON’T YOU THINK I KNOW WHAT IT LIKES?!!!” IT HURTS WHEN SEX IS A CHORE. IT HURTS WHEN YOU HATE DOING IT SO MUCH THAT YOU TEACH YOURSELF TO BE NUMB TO IT. IT HURTS TO PRETEND TO LIKE IT. IT HURTS TO “GIVE IN.” It hurts your soul on the inside. On the outside you may smile a plastic smile, sigh heavily and say, “yes,” but on the inside you’re saying, “got-damn, will you leave me the f*ck alone?! Will you stop bothering me! I HATE having sex with you, you f*cking idiot!! Here’s your piece of ass, now shut the f*ck up!!”
#22–THANK GOD FOR GOLDDIGGERS
#23–THANK GOD FOR HOOCHIES
#24–THANK GOD FOR HOES
#25–INTERRACIAL DATING: ARE BLACK WOMEN GOING OUT OF STYLE?
#26–WHY CAN'T YOU KEEP A MAN?
(“The 50+ Things You Must Know About A Guy Before You Give Him Your Heart And Make Him Your Man” Guide!)
****EXCERPT FROM “Why Can’t You Keep A Man?”
(Turn to Page 339) When you meet someone new, you need to give him time to show his ass. This doesn’t mean, ask him to pull down his pants so you can see his booty. No, “show his ass,” means show his REALLY BAD points. The best time to STOP domestic abuse is before it starts. If you get INTO an abusive relationship, trust me, it’s a bitch trying to get out of it. And, whether you ignore them or NOT, you WILL get warning signals before you jump into an abusive relationship. That’s why I always say that I am not interested in the “sending flowers” stage. My attitude is “F*ck a flower.” I need to know: what warning signs (that make me uneasy and gives me a knot in my tummy) is he giving me that I’m trying to explain away? How is his TEMPER? How does he argue? Does he: yell excessively, distort his face, call me ugly words, get all up in my face foaming at the mouth like a mad dog, scream, threaten me, have excessive and violent “mood swings,” grab on me, slam doors so hard the hinges break, throw objects across the room narrowly missing me, put his fist through the wall, take my car keys and block the door so I can’t leave, tell me to “get out” during the middle of the night or pulls the car over and leaves my ass on the side of the freeway?
If you meet up with a man who does those things, GET AWAY FROM THERE. Don’t hang around trying to “explain away” that sh*t and falling in love with that guy. I don’t care WHO he is, I don’t care how wonderful he is when he’s not mad, I don’t care how cute he is, nor do I care WHAT he’s got. That sh*t starts small and if he sees that you’re going to “rationalize” or accept his “a teensy bit violent” behavior, IT WILL ESCALATE INTO FULL-BLOWN VIOLENCE AND ABUSE.
An abusive man NEEDS a weak woman that he can physically, mentally or emotionally abuse. Are YOU that weak woman? He can’t do it by himself. Like setting out a trap for a mouse, he baits you with flowers, gifts and flattery … which is like salve for your low self-esteem. That’s why I say, girl, don’t get seduced by flowers. Don’t fall in love with a man just because he showers you with flowers and gifts. A man with a bad temper will take those dozen of roses and beat the hell out of you with them. (This section is dedicated to my childhood friend, Angela Claiborne, who was shot and killed by her ex-boyfriend when she was only 25 years old. Angela, I will always remember you.)
(Note about gifts and money: IF YOU START OFF letting a guy disrespect you and treat you horribly because he buys you shoes and clothes or pays the bills … That’s How He’s Going To Treat You For The Rest Of The Relationship. You’ve set the tone from the beginning that he can just treat you like sh*t, talk to you ANY ole kind of way, lie, cheat, WHATEVER … and he knows all he has to do is listen to you bitch for awhile, throw you a new outfit or some money to shut you up and then continue doing his dirt. With your ACTIONS, you’ve said to him, “okay, you can treat me like crap … as long as you keep the dollars coming.” You made THAT deal from the beginning.)
(Turn to Page 344) … However, notice that I was compromising on SNORING. I was NOT compromising on verbal abuse and him getting all up in my face and calling me “whore” and “slut” when we argued. I was NOT compromising on physical abuse or the “little pushes and shoves” that will eventually turn into a full-blown ass-kicking. I was NOT compromising on “him only coming to my house late at night, me never going to HIS house, his never taking ME out around his friends and family.” I was NOT compromising on me waiting around five years while he made a decision as to whether or not he was going to be in a committed relationship with me. I was NOT compromising on him coming in drunk at all hours of the night and using the “bill money” to buy weed. I was NOT compromising on him bringing his questionable-looking friends with outstanding warrants into my house with me and my kids. I was NOT compromising on me knowing he has five or six other girlfriends and waiting for HIM to make up his mind as to whom he wanted to be with.
So … what things about your man are YOU willing to compromise on? And … are you going TOO overboard with your compromising?
TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER ...
#27–LETTER FROM A HOMEWRECKER
#28–IS IT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF OTHER WOMEN TO TELL A MARRIED MAN TO GO HOME TO HIS WIFE?
#29–MARRIED MEN CHEATING CAN BE DIVIDED INTO THE FOUR BASIC FOOD GROUPS
*****EXCERPT FROM “Married Men Cheating Can Be Divided Into The Four Basic Food Groups”
(Turn to Page 370) … TYPE OF MARRIED MAN CHEATING: SUGAR
The SUGAR married man has a sweet tooth that craves sex. He is INSATIABLE. He is NOT looking for a commitment, he is not looking for a “second wife,” he is not looking for a “female friend” to talk to. He is looking for a piece of ass. Period. More than likely, SUGAR has a beautiful, doting wife with a great body. To everyone on the outside looking in, SUGAR has an ideal home life. None of his buddies can figure out why he runs around on his wife, especially since some of the women he runs over are not as beautiful.
SUGAR will not take you shopping. SUGAR will not pay your credit card bill. SUGAR will not take you to dinner unless you are paying. SUGAR does not believe in, nor does he, “pay to play.” SUGAR is going after the tootsie roll and he wants it for free. If he can’t get it for free, he does not want it. If you prove to be too much of a challenge in giving up your tootsie roll, i.e., you put conditions on it, like “this candy ain’t free,” or “I need you to do this for me,” SUGAR is gone. He is not about to “work” for the candy. Once you give it up, his sweet tooth for YOU is filled. He has tasted your tootsie roll and he is on his merry way, headed towards the licorice aisle. After he’s gotten his fill of licorice, he is headed towards the peppermint sticks! SUGAR’s goal is to get as much candy as he can. The thrill for SUGAR is GETTING the candy. Once he has gotten it, what’s the point of hanging around?
TYPE OF WOMAN SUGAR LOOKS FOR
SUGAR does not wear his wedding band because, it’s simple. He does not want you to know he is married. If you knew he was married, you might not give up the candy. Nine times out of ten, SUGAR is not around long enough for you to find out he is married. Because if you ask him, he will either lie or he will say that he is “on the way out” of a relationship.
Let’s say that you DO hold out on your candy long enough to find out that SUGAR is married. (Perhaps SUGAR actually gave you his correct full name or you were able to see his driver’s license. You searched the Internet and turned up a marriage certificate with SUGAR’s name on it but there was no accompanying divorce decree.) If you confront SUGAR about being married, and he still wants your candy, SUGAR will FREELY talk about his wife. It is part of his game plan to let you know how sexually unsatisfying his wife is to him, how boring she is in bed, how she has no sense of experimentation or adventure. SUGAR only tells you that to see if you are stupid enough to respond with, “I KNOW I can take care of you in bed.” You are not wise enough to know that SUGAR’s wife is probably frigid because, while his hands are touching her, she is wondering whom they were touching last night because his ass did not come home! You also do not know that no matter how much sex SUGAR’s wife gives him, it is NOT enough. It’s not just his WIFE’S sex that SUGAR wants. SUGAR wants EVERYBODY ELSE’S sex too! SUGAR craves sexual variety. He craves MORE sex, MORE sex and MORE sex!
Volume is the name of SUGAR’s game. He goes to a nightclub and he is like a kid in a candy store. He wants the weak and the sweet. He looks for kinda plain-looking, nice women with great bodies. SUGAR’s other “stomping ground” is the church. He knows he will find MUCH prey who will, after being bombarded with his meaningless, syrupy, seemingly “sincere,” verbal dribble, eventually (in a moment of sinful weakness) give up their candy (and will go on a heavy guilt trip after SUGAR does not call again).
SUGAR wants the type of woman who usually gets attention for her body and her great job but not for her facial beauty. Most of these women do not recognize SUGAR’s fawning, “whisk you off your feet,” whirlwind attention as GAME. They are sooooo flattered to have been noticed by such a handsome, “available,” (after all, he’s not wearing a wedding ring) hunk of a man! SUGAR looks for women he can “hook” by being “charmingly syrupy.” His “lines” include the ever-popular “damn, girl, you look so good I could drink your bath water.” (Whoever invented that line is just plain NASTY. The next guy that says that to you, tell him, “Prove it. DRINK MY BATH WATER!” Ha ha ha ha!)
Another “line” SUGAR uses to disarm you is, “Baby, you have a great body, I can see that you work out.” If you give a silly giggle and respond with, “yes, I work out four times a week at such-and-such gym, blah, blah, blah,” SUGAR will say something like, “I hope you don’t mind me saying this, and don’t take me as being disrespectful because I am just giving you a compliment but … I sure wish I was the lucky man who could SEE that great body of yours.” SUGAR has just put the ball in your court! He waits … for your reaction, for your response! If you stutter, if you don’t walk away, if you giggle shyly, SUGAR has “locked onto you” like a missile that’s found its target! SUGAR will constantly bombard you with smooth compliments, telling you how desirable you are, how sexy you look, how good you smell, how your eyes shine like diamonds, how he would love to see you in a black teddy. (Note: He will not buy you diamonds or teddies of ANY color!)
SUGAR may take you out to one lunch or dinner and pay for it. As he picks up the check, he expects to hear from you, “Let me pay for my meal. I have a good job. I pay my own way. You don’t have to pay for mine.” BINGO! Have you ever heard the saying, “charm you out of your panties?” SUGAR INVENTED THAT!! SUGAR charmingly smiles and says, “I’ll get this one, maybe you can get the next one,” knowing GOODNESS WELL there is not going to be a next time. SUGAR is not about to spend his next meeting with you in a restaurant.
After your initial lunch or dinner, SUGAR is going to make himself unavailable to you, except by telephone, so he can (1) seemingly “spend time getting to know you,” while he (2) takes all the time necessary to steer the conversation towards sex talk. How does SUGAR get YOU to initiate the sex talk? He will continue to compliment you on your body so it doesn’t look like HE is the one trying to jump to the panties. SUGAR’s goal is that the next time he sees you, it will be at your place. His sweet, sexy, breathy, deep-voiced, “taking the time to listen to you” conversation is designed to “open you up, make you feel comfortable and drop your defenses” so you will feel as if you know him well enough to invite him to your house.
SUGAR LOVES, PREFERS and PREYS ON the “financially independent, good job,” type woman because she is not about to ask him for anything. SUGAR looks for women who have their own apartment or home because he is not about to pay for a hotel room just so he can get the “nookie.” Always remember … SUGAR’s game is to get the candy without expending any effort and certainly without giving up any cash (other than that one “investment lunch or dinner designed to disarm you” the two of you had).
After SUGAR has “conquered” or “had sex with you,” now that he has ACCOMPLISHED HIS GOAL OF HAVING SEX WITH YOU … from the moment he leaves your house, watch how UNAVAILABLE he becomes. Where he used to promptly return your telephone calls, now watch how long it takes him to return them, IF HE DOES! Where your conversations with him used to be lengthy, watch how “short” he is with you and how quickly he gets off the telephone. Where he was once eager to come see you, watch how BUSY he is now. Watch how disinterested SUGAR acts even when you tell him to come see you in the new lingerie you just bought! You might as well stop calling him, cry yourself to sleep and deal with the emotional pain. SUGAR’s already got YOUR panties. He’s busy and unavailable to you because he is now working on getting his next pair from the next chick.
TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER ...
#30–WHAT IF YOU CAUGHT YOUR MAN SMELLING LIKE SEX?
#31–HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO TO GET BACK AT A MAN?
(Includes “Before You Go Beat A B*tch’s As* For Messing With Your Man” Checklist)
*****EXCERPT FROM “How Far Would You Go To Get Back At A Man?”
(Turn to Page 393) … Call the child social services office and ask them what is going to happen to your children while you are in jail for beating up someone over a cheating man. Ask them the current state of the foster care system and ask if you are able to interview suitable foster parents, BEFORE you are arrested. Even though YOU are getting ready to commit a crime, you don’t want your kids falling into the wrong hands. It would be HORRIBLE if they had to experience mental, verbal, physical or sexual ABUSE at someone else’s house or foster home just because you had to punch Tonya in the face because your man was sleeping with her. (Although if you were really concerned about your kids’ welfare, you wouldn’t go and punch Tonya in the face. You would let that man and Tonya or whoever was his NEXT woman go on about their business while you kept to the business of raising your kids.)
#32–WHEN IS IT OKAY TO DATE YOUR FRIEND'S EX?
#33–ARE YOU GONNA TELL YOUR FRIEND HER MAN IS CALLING YOU?
#34–EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT MARRIED MEN WHO CHEAT … BUT WAS AFRAID TO ASK (Because You Didn’t Want Folks To Look At You All Suspicious-Like!)
Includes: The TOP TWO “Traps” Married Men Say To Lure Emotionally Weak Women; Are You The Kind Of Woman Married Men Cheat ON? Are You The Kind Of Woman Married Men Cheat WITH? Why Do Married Men Want To Be “Friends” With You? How Do You Call A Woman To Let Her Know Her Man Is Cheating? Will Marriage Or Church Keep A Man Faithful? You Find A Woman’s Number On Your Man … Should You Call It? Why Do Pretty Girls Get Cheated On? Will “Holding Out The Cooch” Punish Your Man? Is It Worth It To Give Up A Relationship With A Good Man Just Because He Told You He Wanted To Have Sex With Someone Else? If You Stay With A Cheater, Does That Mean You Are A Weak Woman? Why Do Men Who Seem To Have “Everything” Risk It To Cheat? Are Cheating Men “Lonely and Trapped?”
WHITE PARTY AT CLUB SKITTLES, JUNE 27, 2009!!! Take Exit 46A(Augusta Rd.) off I-85 and the club sits across from Mrs. Fircracker!!! 10 Chalmers Rd. Greenville, SC 29605 Admission $5 b4 12 and $10 after!!!
HEY COMING THRU TO SHOW YOUR PAGE SOME LUV!! CHECKOUT FREE DOWNLOAD OF OUR NEW SINGLE" BABYGIRL" & GET MORE WHEN YOU SIGN UP FOR OUR FAN CLUB/STREET TEAM http://users.bandzoogle.com/DaGreezyBoyz/ .. FOLLOW US @ TWITTER.COM/URRRECORDS .. .DON'T FORGET TO RETURN THE LUV!! URR RECORDS & DA GREEZYBOYZ "THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT"
Wus good witcha? I need a favor! I need you to participate in the poll I got below. I'm tryna make sure I'm givin you what you want. So tell me which one of these songs you like best, so I can keep makin music like that. If you don't like any of them be REAL! That's why there is a NONE OF THE ABOVE option. If you not feelin any of the songs I would appreciate you hittin me up and tellin me what you do like though! If you need a lil refresher, go to my page and listen to the songs! Thanx!
I'ma make a video for the song that gets the most votes!!
Which one of my songs do you wanna hear in the club/strip club and the radio?Jus Like ThatHit Me Wit a TextWill You Be My GirlBounce That AzzNone of the AboveView ResultsCreate a MySpace Poll
YEEAAAHHH! New song! You know how I do! I'm personally bringin you my new song. Its called "Will you be my girl"! This jus a lil taste, I still gotta fix some things. Come thru and leave a comment on my page! Even if you not feelin it!!
ANDRE JOHNSON andre johnson 72124 ATOANDRE JOHNSON andre johnson 72124 ATOANDRE JOHNSON andre johnson 72124 ATOANDRE JOHNSON andre johnson 72124 ATOANDRE JOHNSON andre johnson 72124 ATOANDRE JOHNSON andre johnson 72124 ATOANDRE JOHNSON andre johnson 72124 ATOANDRE JOHNSON andre johnson 72124 ATOANDRE JOHNSON andre johnson 72124 ATOANDRE JOHNSON andre johnson 72124 ATOANDRE JOHNSON andre johnson 72124 ATOANDRE JOHNSON andre johnson 72124 ATO
Wussup witcha? You know how I do! I'm personally bringin you a new song of mine! Its called "Hit me wit a text"! Come thru and leave a comment on my page! Even if you not feelin it!!
Wussup witcha? Got a new song and I wanna personally present it to you. I know if I post a bulletin tellin you to listen to it, you ain't gon listen LOL. Its called "Jus like that". If you feelin it, gon head and add it to ya page.
BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B BREAK N NEWZ THE NEWW SOUND OF HIPHOP,R&B
