Sr Kerry of the Immaculate Heart

About me:

The journey of my life has been long and full of twists and turns. I began life in the early 1960s the only child of celebrity parents. War was over and london was swinging and ready to party. My mother was a 1950s movie starlet,as cold and hard as the sharp edge of a diamond.

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My father was a brooding actor who still makes a living playing the bad guy.

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My grandfather and great uncle were a comedy double act in the old music hall. My grandmother had been a chorus line dancer. They all had beauty, wealth and fame - all that the world thinks of as valuable.

The outside of my life glittered and shone with all the exiting trinkets the world had to offer. I experienced different countries, met famous interesting people and was showered with gifts.

I was always rather an odd child. My ancestry had been Russian Jewish, many of them rabbi’s. I was born a tiny rabbi with squiffy bunches in my hair and more questions than they turned out to be answers.

But, dear friends, the inner part of my childhood was very different. Over the years I endured a childhood so dark I did not think happiness or even contentment would ever be possible. I experienced much including violence, divorce, sexual and emotional abuse and at 14 ended up living rough on the streets of London.

After Institutional Care and the drugs and booze lifestyle that followed. (I can party, friends. Trust me, I can party)I met a guy in a pub and fell in love. Truly, madly, deeply in love. I showered all my need (and, as you can imagine, that need was considerable)on to this relationship. I had no idea. Never having been loved and believing myself worthless, I had no idea how to have a relationship. I was just a sad whirlwind of blonde, crazy, party, druggy need. As I didn't know my arse from my uterus, I got pregnant. It was then I discovered that I had invested a whole life in this man. I wanted to marry him, have his children, nurse him through man-flu. The whole kit and kabammy. He, I swiftly discovered, just wanted a shag. I was right royally dumped.

So, friends, I found myself alone, pregnant, homeless, unqualified and with no family or husband. I wanted to die (not for the first time) but 6 months later when I looked into my daughter's eyes and she looked into mine the notorious party girl found herself saying, "Don't cry darling mummy's here". I had discovered one of life's great truths: love is stronger than death. So, the party girl that no one loved or cared about had been transformed in an instant. I made a decision. I would live and do everything in my power to raise this poor child. She would grow up without magazine editorial beauty, wealth and fame. But she would be loved. She would be truly loved.

As for me, friends, I fought back against the abuse of my childhood and the pain which wracked every part of my soul. I searched. I shook my fist at the heavens and demanded to know how to go from a frightened, victimised child to a strong, happy woman. One day, many decades after the fight back began, my wish was granted. I was then called and entered a Roman Catholic Religious Order and spent 6 years studying in their novitiate. I also studied Christian Theology at University.

My daughter is now 23 and the light and joy of my life. I thank God for the blessing she is every day.

I write this blog in the hope - in the genuine hope - that something I say may be of use to you in your journey.

May God bless you.

Sr K x