An essay on why you should listen to Skinless Finger:

There are only a few mysteries that the application of scientific reasoning cannot explain; the validity of String Theory, the psychological phenomenon of ‘déjà vu’, Jim Davidson.

Fortunately, ‘New-Old Band Syndrome’, or ‘NOBS’, can be explained in four easy points:
1. Band create innovative and unique sound.
2. Band inspires second generation of young musicians.
3. Wankers with no imagination steal said band’s ideas, piss saccharine commerciality onto them to tempt scores of pre-teens who don’t know any better and proceed to spend remaining years in Hollywood mansion savoring the satisfying yet spiritually bereft aroma of their own farts.
4. Pre-teens don horn-rimmed spectacles, wrap microphone cables around wrists and proceed to grimace through insincere routines of screams, grunts and wails to a bemused ‘BANNED! Night’ audience, in a vain attempt to imitate the leader singer probably laughing at them amongst his collection vintage guitars.

Of the many things you can accuse Skinless Finger of being, a bunch of NOBS is not one; taking a funk pipe, filling it cautiously with extracts of the finest jazz and rock, and igniting it with the spirit of true hip hop, the band emit a purple haze of Class-A pop innovation, described by Pete Doherty as “Better than Heroin, and twice as addictive!”

Drummist Phil plays the drums, and, with his background in salsa and transvestitism, provides the group’s feminine side.

Basser Gaz plays the bass, and, with his penchant for bands like Korn, provides the group’s feminine side.

Guitar-doer Adds provides chords and solos, and, with his role as main writer, provides the band’s feminine side.

Guitar-fiddler Nick brings the funk and dirty riffs, and, with his role in the band as the fifth finger he provides the band's camp side.

Vocalist Ash provides offensive jokes, and, with his long, flowing blond hair, provides the band’s masculine side.

Skinless Finger aren’t the biggest band in the world; Oasis are the biggest band in the world…said a man in 1996…whose name was Liam Gallagher….

…but, if only a mere 1/100th of the same people who have heard ‘Our Liam’ growl “Sun Shee-yine-ah” catch a few seconds of Skinless Finger’s musical ejaculate, it is almost certain that the band’s appeal will spread faster than Bird Flu, SARS or the inevitable destruction of Global Warming; as Al Gore once said: “Skinless Finger rule, now let me out of the car!”



Quotes are not real.