I'm Chris.
I'm 18.
I go to college.
I hold the world record for the number of apples under 4-inches circumference you can eat. This is part of the unofficial world records - ones Guinness won't allow you to know about because they are too pussy - because they don't like records which can damage you for life, you know, make you ill and that. Anyway, I ate 268 apples in one sitting in order to hold the record.
I shat stones for a week. Or that's how I remember it. But that was better than Mr Nyama who got really ill and started vomiting blood.
The thing about fish only having a four-second memory is a lie. My fish still remember me doing the world record - I know this because every time they see an apple they turn in the opposite direction. Even fish that weren't alive when I did the world record know to turn away.
If I could be anyone I'd either be me, or Mr Nyama. You should meet him, he's wicked. He's got the 5 inch record. But he won't tell me his first name.
I believe in love. But I really like how my love is not like your love.
<span style='font-size:20px; font-weight:bold'>Hey Chris, I just bought you as my PET! <br/><a href='http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=361263053'><span style='font-size:larger;'>Click to find out how much I think you're worth!</span></a></span><br/><br/><a href='http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=361263053'><img src='http://static-lb-2.slicezero.com/oyf_prod/images/ffs_money3_myspace.gif' border='0' /></a><br/>
<br /><br />
-------------------------------<br />
<i>This comment was sent by your friend via the <a href="http://www.myspace.com/361263053">Own Your Friends!</a> application. To block comments sent via Apps. click <a href="http://profileedit.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=accountSettings.applicationSettings">here</a>.</i> <br />
<span style='font-size:20px; font-weight:bold'>Hey Chris, I just bought you as my PET! <a href='http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=361263053'><span style='font-size:larger;'>Click here</span></a> to find out how much I think you're $$WORTH$$!</span><br/><br/><a href='http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=361263053'><img src='http://static-lb-2.slicezero.com/oyf_prod/images/ffs_money3_myspace.gif' border='0' /></a><br/>
<br /><br />
-------------------------------<br />
<i>This comment was sent by your friend via the <a href="http://www.myspace.com/361263053">Own Your Friends!</a> application. To block comments sent via Apps. click <a href="http://profileedit.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=accountSettings.applicationSettings">here</a>.</i> <br />
i cried when you died, and when it showed ur funeral as well. you and jal were like soooo meant to have a baby together, you made such a cutie couple!!!
i cant believe you sid and tony maxxie and Anwar arent coming back next season :( cryyyyyyy
joe are u gona be in doctor who i herd lol u aint a character for that u maggot u should be in a comedy lik american pie but what do i know wb please i may have miss speled som shit as i am wrecked lol
i really didnt think u was dead, i didnt think that they'd kill off an amazin character like urs! thats just daft! ur gorgeous aswell. ill still watch it but i doubt ill laugh as much! i hope ur in another programme soon :] xx
