1000 homo djs, 5f_55, a tribe called quest, accessory, adam ant, aeon, afi, alice in chains, android lust, the animals, fiona apple, aphex twin, armin van buuren, army of lovers, atari teenage riot, autechre, basic pleasure model, bauhaus, the beatles, the berzerker, blondie, blur, bodies in the gears of the apparatus, body count, brodequin, busta rhymes, david byrne, cake, cannibal corpse, cattle decapitation, charlie clouser, the chemical brothers, coil, the cranberries, cryptopsy, the crystal method, the cure, dead can dance, dead centre, dead milkmen, decapitated, decrepit birth, deeds of flesh, deicide, delerium, depeche mode, devourment, the dillinger escape plan, disgorge, dj sharpnel, the dresden dolls, dripping, duran duran, paul van dyke, eternal suffering, face to face, faith no more, fatboy slim, filter, robin finck, flock of seaguls, foo fighters, front 242, frontline assembly, garbage, god lives underwater, goratory, gorgasm, gorillaz, goreopsy, george harrison, hate eternal, jimi hendrix, buddy holly, ice t, billy idol, shaun imrei, incantation, infected flesh, insignia, internal bleeding, internal suffering, jamiroquai, jethro tull, joan jett, junkie xl, juno reactor, konkhra, korn, lacuna coil, lamb of god, lard, led zeppelin, leftfield, john lennon, annie lennox, daniel lenz, liturgy, danny lohner, lords of acid, lunatic calm, m1dy, mad cow and the royal eurobeat orchestra Of bazookistan, madonna, marilyn manson, massive attack, the melvins, meshuggah, michael hedges, mindless self indulgence, ministry, misery index, morcheeba, mudvayne, peter murphy, mus-ok, necrophagist, the new york dolls, gary newman, nile, nine inch nails, nunwhore commando 666, nwa, paul oakenfold, oasis, obituary, ohgr, orgy, our lady peace, richard patrick, pitchshifter, pink floyd, placebo, buster poindexter, portishead, premonitions of war, primus, praga khan, psykosonik, purple motion, pyrexia, q-tip, queens of the stone age, radiation 4, radiohead, railgun, rasputina, retch, tim reynolds, trent reznor, paul sebastian, severe torture, scooter, anoushka shankar, ravi shankar, sharpnel sound, jules shear, siouxsie and the bansheess, skaven, skinless, skinny puppy, skunk anasi, smashing pumkins, snake river conspiracy, sneaker pimps, soundgarden, splashdown, squarepusher, stabbing westward, static x, suffocation, switchblade symphony, system of a down, the talking heads, tammy faye starlight, tears for fears, teranoid, they might be giants, yuu tokiwa, tool, franz toronado, tricky, two, underworld, universal hall pass, vast, stevie ray vaughn, venetian snares, vital remains, vivaldi, vomit remnants, chris vrenna, waco jesus, wired all wrong, the white stripes, white zombie, the who, wumpscut, yeah yeah yeahs, zao
Books
watership down
by richard adams
catcher in the rye
by jerome david salinger
existence: a new dimension in psychiatry and psychology
by rollo may
schrodinger's kittens and the search for reality: solving the quantum mysteries.
by john gribbin
a clockwork orange
by anthony burgess
the mind of god: the scientific basis for a rational world
by paul davies
neuromancer
by william gibson
flowers for algernon
by daniel keyes
ghost in the machine
by gilbert ryle
man, a machine
by julien offray de la mettrie
paradise lost
by john milton
the divine comedy
by dante alighieri
tomorrow's eve
by mathias villiers de l'isle-adam
locus solus
by raymond roussel
hebrews: a devotional commentary
by w. h. griffith thomas
simians, cyborgs, and women: the reinvention of nature
by donna haraway
anti-oedipus: capitalism and schizophrenia pt.1
by gilles deleuze and félix guattari
a thousand plateaus: capitalism and schizophrenia pt.2
by gilles deleuze and félix guattari
aztec
by gary jennings
the jesus factor
by edwin corley
do androids dream of electric sheep?
by philip k. dick
coup d’État: a practical handbook
by edward n. luttwak
looking backward: 2000-1887
by edward bellamy
nine stories
by jerome david salinger
runaround
by isaac asimov
liar
by isaac asimov
after the long goodbye
by masaki yamada
vanishing mediator
by fredric jameson
postmodernism: the cultural logic of late capitalism
by fredric jameson
of human bondage
by william somerset maugham
the metamorphosis
by franz kafka
the alienist
by caleb carr
the angel of darkness
by caleb carr
Heroes
-The best of the east and the west-
Stevie Ray Vaughn
Jimi Hendrix
Diego Sanchez
Terrance Hobbs
Guy Marchais
Erik Lindmark
Matt Sotelo
Everyone in the The Berzerker
Tim Reynolds
About me: ex-Guitar and vox for the band Dead Centre. I greatly suggest you visit my livejournal for relevant insight into who or what I am.
Congradulations to my love for winning Best of Show at her school's art show!!! She's so wonderful the judges couldn't decide between the best three paintings, which were all her's! Zounds and z'0MGs, I say!
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I love, cherish, worhsip my beautiful Donna with all my heart, soul, and being. She is and always will be my everything.
-=Exerpt from July 1st '05=-
To whomever reads my journal. I'm sorry for the subject-matter being so depressing. Since I have had it, perhaps ninety-eight percent of the entries have been negative/miserable/depressing/etc. The reason for that is I find the expression of sorrow/misery more acute than most seemingly random "happy go lucky" babble. I'm not banishing the happier end of the spectrum of emotion, I use this journal as a serious outlet for what I have to say about my self/psychee and I have felt more sorrow than happiness over the course of the writings. I use references from websites, comedians, poets, and play-writes to aid me in my self-expression at times since said references already have an expressed meaning and hopefully come across again in a similar way to describe my emotional/mental state at the time of writing. Even yesterday, I changed the headline of my myspace page to "Farewell. God knows when we shall meet again.", which are the last words Juliet spoke to her mother before she drank poison in Spakespear's Romeo and Juliet. I found the words important since I too feel as if I'm close to death..
I believe myself to be a passionate man for the arts and self-expression. I can express my love for things as only a mother can describe the beauty of her newborn. I can also express my hate as a brother of a murder-victim. I am very emotional, yet come off and cold at times, seemingly often when it's less appropriate. When man takes the option to be truly cold and emotionless, they are no longer man: But, an animate piece of flesh only causing havoc in the souls of those who are truly compassionate. So, I chose long ago that though the road to life can be painful often, it is still life. For, when you abandon what you are, you are no longer human.
We are all a vast compilation of emotions. We must embrace them, we must love them, and we must express/share them. I have no reservations with letting the world know how destroyed I feel. Because if I didn't write any of this, if i never wrote anything down or told anyone how I feel about something. I would be a lonely speck, wasting away on the face of a planet with over six billion people living on it.. And I refuse to be just a fucking speck!
j
-end
-=LJ Exerpt from Feb. 16 '05=-
Hrmm.. I feel so numb lately. Is that a part of acceptance, or is it the beginning of a breakdown.. *laugh* And here I sit, always thinking I was made of sterner stuff. Have I made myself too stable? I've always been articulate, eloquint, emotional, animated, and expressive when I speak.. But, inside i feel dead.. rotten to the core. Am I still lying to myself if I know what my faults are, but hide them? Am I cheating myself of evolution? Ofcourse I know myself, I know my limits and my passions. I've taken that neat decade long walk within myself. I know myself... right? Everyone I'm around, I know their algorithms, I know their habits, patterns, loves, and hates.... and that's without them verbally telling me anything.
A dense fog envelopes the city tonight.. I couldn't sleep, so I decided to take a drive around for a few minutes. In the end, I decided to hit walmart since I needed some supplies for certain projects I have going on.
hrmm.. valentine's day candy is on sale.. I guess someone didn't get any this time around either.
-end
-=LJ Exerpt from Dec. 7 '03=-
Life, existence, emotion, being, love, hate, and death are all things we can not control. All of them happen when they choose to happen. I have experienced all of them and most are overrated with one exception: love.
Love, to me, is a double-edged sword: can conquer all... including yourself. Your best friend and your worst enemy.
People say i'm full of shit for the things i've said in the past.
Am I?
Am I so vain as to believe that someone believes me?
Shouldn't that be my purpose?
Loving myself is the easy part.
Having someone else infinately is the challange.
oh... this is all wrong..
I don't know what I'm typing.
It's all bullshit, right?
When we reach a point in life, we become something else.. the perfect sinner, free from guilt, nothing but myself is important.. yes?
How can that be the end result, when it is the most common thing in life?
Isn't that the beggining also?
How can life come full circle so quickly?
Live, love, lose, die.
Maybe we're all born losers and then through life, we redeem or build ourselves back up.
I is inebriated and vary vary in love with eeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeerrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyy thing at the moment and you are on my list of things I love ^. ^ <3s
you like VAST? it's really weird not a lot of ppl (here ) knows him.
anywho. . . hope your days are a little bit sunnier - there sure are a lot of sad ppl where i am. . . you feel better over there! okie?
Wow, your page is so awesome and I just find it odd that you only have 32 friends. Do you respond to people? Anyway, came by to visit, and I noticed your pics, it's about time and those are good. Nice work. Nice bunny, too. He or she is adorable. I love the coloring of the picture. I've been out of touch online for a while, but, I'm back now. I hope you're doing well. Did you hear about the sad news concerning European Street....???? Well, hope you write back. What are you up to lately???? Me? Alot, lots and lots... . : )
Is that your writing? I wish I had some good original writing to send back, I am extremely self conciouse, though, its not often I let people read my stuff, but if I can think of something I just might send it
